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What the HECK?/Intro- Rasslin Tape 14 (Spring 1991)
Hey kids, it's tape 14! Covering WrestleMania 7 and all the residue that came with it.
I haven't watched this tape in almost 12 years and make no forecast
of the quality included. But let's get down to the ring for Willie Nelson and
Wrestlemania 7!
Wrestlemania VII
After over a year of hype, promising the
"greastest sports extravaganza of ALLLLLL time" and that it
would shatter "ALLL attendance records" at the Los Angeles
Masoluem ("site of Super Bowls, the
World Series..and on April 2, 1991, Wrestlemania VII!!"), it's been moved
to Los Angeles Sports Arena ("Site of Clippers game...monster truck
rallies.. Judas Priest concerts!") Also, instead of being
the "largest attendance ever", they settle for "the largest
PPV audience in the history of PPV".
Every graphic has a patriotic color scheme and, curiously, all the
"Wrestlemania" banners have no numerals. Willie Nelson strolls into
the ring to sing "America the Beautiful". Willie's into it, wearing
a faux WWF championship belt, a Hulk Rules Bandana and Bret Hart sunglasses.
After that, Gorilla Monsoon announces our special guest commentator- Hacksaw Jim Duggan.
Duggan enters to "Stars n Stripes Forever", decked out like Uncle Sam.
Gorilla, thankfully, is NOT decked out like fellow Freedom Fighter
Phantom Lady (and I'm sure all of ONE people got that shitty joke).
The crowd is hot and remains so for the rest of the show.
WM7 Match 1: Rockers vs. Haku & Barbarian (w/Bobby Heenan)
Yeah, the Artists Eventually Known as the Faces of Fear. Solid opener
as the Rockers gain the pin with double top-turnbuckle moves. Hacksaw bids
farewell as Heenan comes over to supply the remaining commentary.
WM7 Match 2: "Texas Tornado" Kerry Von Erich vs. Dino Bravo (w/Jimmy Hart)
Kerry steals a page from Hogan's book and kicks out of
Bravo's finisher at 2! Spinning discus punch gets the pin for Kerry.
Mean Gene Okerlund is backstage with Davey Boy Smith, who gets a little request from Winston.
Not sure if Davey Boy fed this dog steroids like he did to its predecessor, Matilda.
I'm not joking... sick fucking bastard.
WM7 Match 3: "British Bulldog" Davey Boy Smith (w/Winston)vs. Warlord (w/Slick)
Dang, can't remember if this the first time we've seen Winston the bulldog on
the tapes. Decisive win for Davey Boy as he slips out of Warlord's full nelson
and applies the running power slam for the pin. During the match, you can make out a
ring worker (or maybe even a cameraman) trying to keep Winston on his little
pedestal.
WM7 Match 4: WWF Tag Team Championship; Hart Foundation (c) vs. Nasty Boys (w/Jimmy Hart)
(Bret "Hitman" Hart & Jim "The Anvil" Neidhart vs. Jerry Saggs & Brian Knobbs)
Anvil is wearing hig gay-ass pink beret and looks like he should be entering to the tune
of "Cups and Cakes". Gee, Jimmy Hart had been wearing a motorcycle helmet for the past few weeks..
ya don't think THAT will play into this match, DO YA? Nasties get the win in
what was billed as an "upset"... but any fan could have seen the Nasties push
coming a mile away.
WM7 Match 5: Blindfold Match- Jake "The Snake" Roberts vs. Rick "The Model" Martel
Not as horrible as the Martel/KoKo match from the last tape, it's actually somewhat
entertaining. Martel does a terrific job of acting and pantomiming. Jake finally nails
him with the DDT to score the 3 count pin and end their feud. MArtel rolls away before
Damian is slapped on him.
Marla Maples is in the Nasty Boys' locker room. Most of you have
probably forgotten about her, but Marla was Donald Trump's
bimbo. There was a controversy in the 1990
NFL Season about female reporters being allowed in the New England Patriots' lockerroom,
so the WWF was trying to cash in on it. Nothing exciting, but the Mountie, Dino Bravo and Earthquake
douse the Nasties with champagne.
WM7 Match 6: "Superfly" Jimmy Snuka vs. the Undertaker (w/Paul Bearer)
Sizeable pop for Undertaker as he enters. Snuka's actually wearing BOOTS for
this match. Heenan points out that Bearer holds the urn up in the air when the Undertaker's
in control, and gives it a little hug when he's not. Not sure if
the WWF ever explained this. Anyways, quick squash as Undertaker nails Snuka with
the tombstone piledriver. Heenan does a great job of selling the victory: "I can't
believe it! That's Jimmy Snuka he just manhandled!"
WM7 Match 7: Retirement match- Ultimate Warrior vs. "Macho King" Randy Savage (w/Queen Sherri)
Very emotional and intense match with great psychology. Before the match,
Heenan spots the Lovely Elizabeth halfway down the entrance aisle.
Warrior's gone out and acquried special airbrushed
trunks and a new trenchcoat for this match. Sherri's wearing a showgirl/stripper ensemble, but
she's still a few years away from her extremely bang-able stage of early 1995. Warrior
halts a powerslam on Savage..instead he sets him down and slaps him! Later on, Savage
drops FIVE consecutive flying elbows on Warrior..and only gets a two count! Warrior then hits
HIS finisher, and only gets a two count! Warrior freaks out and starts talking to his
"gods", stares at his hands and starts to leave. Sherri and Savage bade him back in, where
Warrior demolishes Savage with shoulderblocks and stands over him to make the pin.
Probably Warrior's second-best WWF match (#1 being SummerSlam 1989 vs. Rick Rude). After
the match, things get REALLY emotional. Sherri starts attacking the exhausted Savage, until
Elizabeth hops over the railing, runs down and makes the save! Crowd goes NUTS! Savage
and a tearful Liz reconcile with a big hug. Savage hoists Liz up on his shoulders and
this time, he holds the ropes for HER on the way out of the ring. Great moment, since
Liz and Randy were probably the wrestling couple of the 80's and 90's. Crowd shots show
catch some hilarious fans, including this one...
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Intermission time, and when we come back it's celebrity interview wackiness.
Regis Philbin is with the Undertaker and Paul Bearer who size up Reg for
a casket. Next, Alex Trebek is with Demolition and Mr. Fuji. Back to Regis
who tries to talk with Tenryu and Kitao. Once more with Alex Trebek who
has Jake Roberts and Damien. Jake sez Damien wants to be a contestant on Jeopardy
and offers to put Damien around Alex. Alex shits his pants and bolts. Jake smiles
coldly and sez: "well, Damien..I'll guess you'll just have to settle for the
home version of Jeopardy". Harmless fluff.
Vince McMahon is standing by in the WWF Events Center to moderate a discussion
on Instant Replay in the WWF. His guests are NFL windbag Paul MacGuire and
Yankees' owner George Steinbrenner. Steinbrenner brings up
one important point- a time limit on review times. If they can't make the
call in under two minutes, George says to "Fire 'em!". MacGuire calls
him a butthead under his breath. The Bushwhackers are called in to
review evidence of Macguire's "butthead" remark. The replay is ruled
"inconclusive"...which, along with the word "pointless" sums up
this segment.
WM7 Match 8: Tenryu & Kitao vs. Demolition (Ax & Smash w/Mr. Fuji)
If I had to guess, I'm guessing the WWF owed a favor to a Japanese fed. I've always
wondered about the reasoning behind this match, but never enough to, y'know,
actually RESEARCH it. Tenryu powerbombs Crush to get the pin.
WM7 Match 9: WWF Intercontinental Championship: Big Bossman vs. Mr. Perfect (c) (w/Bobby Heenan)
Lord Alfred Hayes is out to fill-in for Heenan's broadcasting spot. Thankfully, just for this match.
Andre the Giant comes down to back Bossman and chase away Heenan. That gets another
big pop from the crowd. Andre KO's
Perfect with the belt, but Haku and the Barbarian run in before Bossman can cover.
DQ win for Bossman. Bossman and Andre shake hands and share a tender moment on their way up
the aisle. Since Andre used to be nicknamed "the big bossman", I suppose
there's some sort of irony about him hanging out with the guy who officially
uses that name.
WM7 Match 10: Greg "The Hammer" Valentine vs. Earthquake (w/Jimmy Hart)
Squash for the Quakester. After the match, Valentine becomes the first guy to use
his noggin and actually ROLL OUT OF THE RING before Quake can splash him again. I always
suspected that original booking was to have "The Masked Man" make an apperance, similar
to the Valentine/Bravo match on the last tape.
Mean Gene is out in the audience to get a few words from Donald Trump,
Chuck Norris, Henry Winkler, and Lou Ferrigno. Winkler is about
to speak, but Gene ignores him and brings in Norris. Diss the Fonz- lose
20 Cool Points! Winkler eventually gets his airtime, though.
WM Match 11: Legion of Doom vs. Power & Glory (w/Slick)
(Hawk & Animal vs. Paul Roma & Hercules)
LOD gets their revenge by bludgeoning (and pinning) Roma in about 50 seconds.
WM7 Match 12: Virgil (w. Roddy Piper)vs. "Million Dollar Man" Ted DiBiase
But first, clips of the DiBiase-Virgil breakup, including a "Superstars" encounter where
Virgil caused DiBiase to lose by countout a jobber.
Piper is selling a broken leg from a motorcycle accident. Piper was supposed
to hook the top rope with his crutch, but blows the spot. DiBiase
sells it anyway and flips over the rope to the floor. DiBiase and Piper
have words while Virgil wins by countout. Afterwards, DiBiase and Sensational Sherri
beat on Piper's leg. Virgil clears the ring with a chair and encourages Piper to stand up.
WM7 Match 13: Tito Santana vs. The Mountie (w/Jimmy Hart)
Around this time, Tito was kinda like Tonto from the Lone Ranger... you just knew he was
gonna get the crap kicked out of him everytime he went to town.
Quick match as Mountie's cattle prod comes into play. But what's this... there's
NO audible noise as the shock occurs!?! Ya don't think the WWF added that little
sound effect into their taped broadcasts, do ya??
Sgt. Slaughter is in the lockerroom, giving his last interview as champion.
He talks.... real...slow....and loud....
The Wrestlemania celebrities walk to the ring- guest timekeeper Marla Maples, guest ring announcer
Alex Trebek and guest commentator Regis Philbin.
WM8 Match 14: WWF Championship: Sgt. Slaughter (c) (w/Gen. Adnan) vs. Hulk Hogan
Marla rings the bell and further advances the cause of all Dumb Blondes worldwide.
Regis Philbin gets maybe three sentences in the whole time. Heenan invites Regis
to his post-WrestleMania party on Tuesday in Las Vegas on PrimeTime Wrestling.
Regis says he can't make it.. but asks if Kathy Lee can attend. Heenan replies:
"NO!... but she can come if she brings her husband, Red Grange!". Funny.
Slaughter is wearing his regular wrestling tights under his khakis, so he's a sweaty beast about
two minutes in. Hulk blades towards the end for effect. Hogan pins Slaughter for his third
WWF Title reign. Hogan celebrates with the American flag as Gorilla sez "so long!"
Random Match 1: WWF Tag Team Championship:
Hart Foundation vs. Dino Bravo & Earthquake (w/Jimmy Hart)
From the post-Wrestlemania Party on PrimeTime, from MSG. The match is deliberately editted to
exclude any shots of the Harts with the belts, so it was obviously taped before
Wrestlemania VII. Bret starts on Bravo with an elbowsmash, inverted atomic drop and
comes off the ropes with a charging clothesline. Anvil tags in and they work on
Bravo's arm for awhile. Bravo rakes Anvil's eyes and tries an irish-whip. Anvil reverses,
hiptosses Bravo, hits a clothesline and goes back to an armbar. Brat tags in and works
the arm some more. Bret tries a monkeyflip out of the corner, but Bravo counters and hits an
inverted atomic drop. Earthquake tags in and misses an elbowdrop. Bret tags Anvil and they
clean house with a double clothesline on both Evil Canadians. Things settle down and the heels
beat on Bret for awhile. Earthquake headbutts Bret and whips him to the corner, where
Bret does his patented "THUNK" sell job.
Anvil keeps trying to run in, but the ref forces him out, allowing the
heels to doubleteam Bret. Bravo gets a piledriver for a two count. Earthquake and Bravo do a
doubleteam slam on Bret, then Earthquake bounces around for his finisher. Before he
can drop ass on Bret, Anvil runs in and clothesline Earthquake out of the ring. Bret and Anvil
hit Bravo with their own doubelteam slam. Anvil then reverse-slams Bret onto Bravo for
the 3 count pin. Earthquake runs in afterwards and drops ass on Bret until Anvil
clears the ring with a chair.
Random Match 2: Shawn Michaels vs. Kato (w/Mr. Fuji & Tanaka)
From the same PTW episode as above. An MSG match as well. Sean Mooney and
Alred Hayes have the call. Hayes consistently annoys us by
reffering to him "Kah-toe". Mooney tries to emphasize the proper pronounciation
of "KAY-toe", but Alfred is stubborn as all hell. Michaels enters and notices
that he's outnumbered. He runs back to the locker room and binrgs out Marty Janetty to
second him. Kato irish whips and monkeyflips Michaels. Michaels
goes up to the top turnbuckle, and comes down with an armbar. Kato escapes and
Michaels applies a flying armbar, this time. Kato powers out and
works the nerve pinch for about three weeks. Kato with an atomic drop, but Michaels
rolls forward and gets a roll-up for 2. Michaels comes back with a clothesline,
a super-kick and off the second turnbuckle with an elbow for another 2. Michaels
bounces off the ropes, but Fuji trips! Chaos errupts as all five
participants dance around the ring... dogs and cats living together!
Kato and Michaels struggle over a backslide. Tanaka sneaks in and smashes Michaels in
the throat. Kato pulls him down the backslide and gets the pin. For this brief moment,
the Orient Express were My Favorite Tag-Team EVER.
Random Match 3: Greg "The Hammer" Valentine vs. Dino Bravo (w/Jimmy Hart)
More PTW and MSG as The New Dream Team Explodes!! Punchamania VII to start, until
Bravo gets a powerslam then misses the elbowdrop. Bravo challenges Valentine
with the Greco-Roman Knucklelock...which last a few minutes. As usual, Bravo cheats
by kicking his opponent's tummy. Valentine comes back and begins to work on Bravo's legs.
Jimmy Hart gets up on the apron as Valentine signals for the figure four.
Valentine is over to scold Hart, allowing Bravo to knee him from behind. Bravo rolls up
Valentine off the ropes, but Valentine reverses into a small package and gets the pin!
I'm in the minority, but I liked the babyface version of Greg Valentine. Just a
no-nonsense wrestler in a sea of gimmicked freaks.
Random Match 4: Big Bossman vs. Rick "The Model" Martel
More PTW fun with Sean and Alfred. Bossman saps, shoves and clotheslines
Martel out of the ring to start. Bossman throws him back in, then misses a
charging knee into the turnbuckle. Martel immediately goes to work
on the kneee, kicking it and wrapping it around the ring post. Bossman
comes back with a crescent kick. Cue the Mountie walking down the aisle.
Bossman delivers a side-backbreaker to Martel so he and the Mountie can
have some Quality Staredown Time. Mountie rips off a little bit of Joe Dredd's
material by shouting "I am da' law!"
Martel begins pawing at the ref, allowing
Mountie to lean through the ropes and zap Bossman with the shock stick (with NO
sound effect!). Bossman staggers throught he ropes out the floor and
Martel follows. Mountie walks away and both competitors brawl to a double countout.
Random Match 5: "Texas Tornado" Kerry Von Erich vs. Haku (w/Bobby Heenan)
Von Erich gets a few hiptosses to send Haku rolling out of the ring.
Haku comes back and initiates Round 72 of the 1991 Knucklelock Challenge Tournament.
Haku hooks in a sleeper and the crowd starts a curious chant of "ring" and "bore".
Von Erich reverses and gets his own sleeper. Heenan then signals "hey, come over
here so I can interefere and end this turdburger of a match by DQ". They oblige.
Random Match 6: Rockers vs. Power & Glory (w/Slick)
(Shawn Michaels & Marty Jannety vs. Hercules & Paul "Romeo" Roma)
Here's a surprise, since this match wasn't listed on my tape case.
A Joined in Progress (J.I.P) match from PTW. I hated JIP matches back then, and never considered
them "true matches", so I failed to write them down on my tape listings. Hercules
has his hair greased back and looks like the illegitimate lovechild of Al Perez and
Scott Hall. Anyways, match starts with P&G beating on Marty for about eight minutes.
Just punches and kicks, but Roma lands a neato standing dropkick and Herc gets
a gorilla press-slam. Herc hits a suplex, then holds Marty so Roma can fly off
the top with a chop. Roma misses a flying elbow in the buckle. Hot tag to
Michaels who...punches!!! Oh wait, an elbow. All four men get in the ring for some fun.
Herc is tossed out of the ring, and the Rockers then blow a double suplex
attempt on Roma. The Rocks decide to chase Slick around ringside, until they're counted out.
Slick runs his lifetime record of managerial whuppigs to 3,289 by taking a double clothesline
and a double dropkick. Rockers dance around with Slick's hat.
Now it's time to put on makeup..it's time to light the lights.. it's time to raise
the curtain on Saturday Night's Main Event...
Vince McMahon and "Macho Man" Randy Savage are providing commentary and welcome us to
the show. Macho runs off to interview Sgt. Slaughter,
Gen. Adnan and COl. Mustafa.
We're shown a video from immediately after WrestleMania VII when
Sgt. Slaughter ambushed Huk Hogan with FLASH PAPER! Later, Slaughter even terrorized
Hogan with Fun Snaps!! Mean Gene is standing by with the Ulllltimate Warrior, and
we're shown another recent attack-- this time from "The Funeral Parlor" when the
Undertaker attacked and locked Warrior in a casket. Nice way to bring us
up to speed as we head to...
SNME Match 1: Ultimate Warrior vs. Sgt. Sluaghter (w/Gen. Adnan and Col. Mustafa)
Mustafa was acknowledged on-screen as the returning Iron Sheik... the staunch Iranian, who
was now supposed to be an Iraqi. Nevermined that Iran and Iraq had a lengthy war
and hated one another..it's just Logic in Wrestling. Bell rings and Sarge decides to enter via the
top turnbuckle. Warrior catches him and tosses him around. Sarge takes over with an eyepoke
and revisits PunchaMania VII. Bearhug follows....twice! Macho chimes in:
"..and that..is a bearhug by a very strong man yeah!" During the break, errr,
"hold", Paul Bearer wheels a casket down to ringside. Casket eventually opens and
Warrior is distracted when the Undertaker sits up in it. Adnan and Mustafa enter the ring
and bang away on Warrior, drawing the DQ. Heels gang up on Warrior until Hulk Hogan
runs in to make the save. Hogan brains Taker with the belt, but it has no effect.
Hogan then decides it's easier to punch Slaughter and waddles off down the aisle with the
"Iraqi" contingent. Warrior hits Taker with two clotheslines, to no effect! A shoulderblock
sends Taker to the ropes, where he flips over and lands on his feet. StrikeForce:Referee
enters to simmer things down.
SNME Match 2: WWF Tag Team Championship: Nasty Boys (c)(w/Jimmy Hart) vs. Bushwhackers
(Brian Knobbs and Jerry Saggs vs. Butch Miller and Luke Williams)
Pre-match interview has the 'Whackers licking Roddy Piper and lifting up his
kilt... ummmm... Lots of punches and kicks for the entire match. Knobbs
tries lifting Butch for a slam, but Luke slides in and takes out the knees as
Butch scores a near three count. Double clotheslines and a battering ram make
an appearance. In the confusion, Knobbs grabs Butch's legs and rolls him up for the pin.
Saggs puts his leg on Knobbs' caboose for added "leverage" .
SNME Match 3: 20 Man Battle Royal
(Jim Duggan, Earthquake, Mr. Perfect, Big Bossman, Jake Roberts,
Barbarian, Warlord, Greg Valentine, Tugboat, Hulk Hogan, Shawn Michaels,
Marty Jannety, Kerry Von Erich, Kato, Tanaka, Jimmy Snuka, Haku, Davey Boy Smith,
Hercules & Paul Roma)
Before the match Mean Gene takes us back to when Earthquake "destroyed"
Jake's buddy Damien. (Quake just dropped ass on "Damien" while he was
in the bag). The gist is that Damien's DEAD! Jake then introduces us to Damien's
big brother- "Lucifer, the devil himself"
Match starts with much hugging and punching. Mr. Perfect spends
a good portion on the apron, teasing elimination and sneaking around. Paul Roma is flipped out
by a headscissor from Marty Jannety, who himself is then pulled out.
Davey Boy Smith is another suprisingly early exit. Jake goes shortly after, but
throws Lucifer into the ring, stopping the match for a bit. The whole
"Earthquake is scared of snakes" thing was a re-hash of Jake's 1988/89
program with Andre the Giant, so it was nice when Andre actually seconded
Jake for a few matches, later on. Hogan dumps Kato and is immediately dumped
by "#1 Hulkamaniac" Tugboat! Hogan is pissed, but of all people, Shawn Michaels
is there to immediately dump Tugboat. Final four boils down to
Michaels, Valentine, Perfect and Barbarian. Perfect and Michaels have a quick
little sequence that ends when Michaels hops onto the apron and gets caught with
a Perfect elbow. Barbarian and Perfect then work together on pumeling Valentine.
Valentine ducks and Perfect errantly hits Barbarian with a dropkick to eliminate him.
Valentine and Perfect got at it for abit, and both tumble over the side.
Perfect grabs the top rope, has his toe barely graze the ground, and wins the thing.
Probably the high point of Valentine's face run, by the way.
SNME Match 4: Bret "Hitman" Hart vs. "Million Dollar Man" Ted DiBiase (w/Sensational Sherri)
Roddy Piper joins the commentary team for this one.
This match basically signals that Bret's solo run is officially on. Lots of roll-ups
and armdrags until DiBiase lifts Bret into a stun-gun. Sherri takes off her jacket to choke Bret and
almost falls out of her top in the process. Must be jelly cuz jam don't shake.
DiBiase with a piledriver and rest holds creep in. Piper walks down to ringside and starts
harassing Sherri with a broom. The two run down the entrance way and DiBiase follows.
Bret is out to catch him and the two brawl to a double countout. Not as exciting as
I had remembered.
SNME Match 5: Tito Santana vs. The Mountie (w/Jimmy Hart)
Rematch from WrestleMania VII, for those crying outrage over
Tito's last job. Tito starts with a clothesline, atomic drop
and a dropkick to knock Mountie around. Tito then misses a monkeyflip
out of the corner as Mountie takes over. Mountie kicks and uses his
"restraining technique" to pound Tito into the corner. Tito comesback
with the flying forearm, but stops the cover to check on Jimmy Hart who is
bringing the shock stick into the ring.
Tito chokes and scolds Hart, allowing Mountie to zap Tito (WITH sound effect this time..
hmmm!) and score the pin. The crowd also has THEIR own sound effect dubbed in
("booooooo")!
Why'd you tape this??
For me, this was probably my most enjoyable flashback tape, so far. Seriously. I don't
remember it being this much fun. WrestleMania VII's main event was so-so, but
the rest of that event was exceptional. The big angles around Jake Roberts, Warrior,
Bossman and DiBiase were even included.
Aside from the title switches, this tape is historic because it
shows the end of the Hart Foundation and the beginning of Bret Hart's solo WWF career.
Although I think there's one final Harts/Nasties match on the next tape.
Look closer and you can see three members of the WWF's great tag team class of the 80's
reaching the end of their runs- Demolition, the Harts and the Rockers. A class that also
included the Rougeau Brothers, British Bulldogs and Killer Bees (and two of those three
teams were represented on this tape in a singles capacity).
The next tape is another rarity, as it contains no PPVs, just a buncha
free TV matches from the summer of 1991.
You can
still e-mail me your own
rasslin' reviews
or you if ya' wanna see these matches on YOUR TV you can
set up a trade for this tape!
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