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Guest Column #58 with Scrooge
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WWF PrimeTime Wrestling - November 1st, 1988
Another outing from our "Good friends" from 24/7. Originally listed during the final week of October, my cable service decided to dick me out of programming, so I had to get this show from someone else, DWB's Favorite Grandfather, ES. So in the immortal words of some guy I never met, let's get this shit over with...
- Because of the Halloween spirit, Gorilla Monsoon and Bobby Heenan play dress up. Monsoon is wearing a gorilla mask and gloves, while Heenan decides to dress up like the Big Boss Man, who recently got the start of his main event push that died out onmce the Mega Power Imploded. The whole set is decked out with Merchandise. Posters of Hulk Hogan and Elizabeth, a Survivor Series t-shirt, the SummerSlam '88 Coliseum Video, dolls of Mine and Matilda, and a Macho Madness cap. I LOVE SUBTLE SHILLING!... And I don't mean the loud mouth asshole that plays for the Boston Red Sawx.
1. The Blue Blazer vs. Boris Zhukov (w/ Nikolai Volkoff):
A PrimeTime Exclusive with Sean Mooney and Lord Alfred on commentary. For some reason, the ring and banners all read "Saturday Night's Main Event." Lazy bastards. Zhukov attempts to sing the national anthem of Commie Red Land, but the Blazer's theme interrupts. I've already reviewed this match from my October-November '88 tape, but the quality of that sucked, so this is an improvement. On the other hand, this match too is not that good. Zhukov stinks, and Blazer is pretty much dialing it in, doing nothing more than arm drags and rest holds. Volkoff appears to have disappeared from the ring area too, but no one cares. Zhukov takes control by blinding the Blazer with the beam of his bald head, then "dominates" with his basic offense of punching and punching. Man, I was too easy on this match last time. Anyway, Blazer makes the Super Hero comeback after chugging a glass of "milk", and comes off the top with a cross body press for the three count at 7:41. Not exactly one of the Blazer's best matches during his WWF run. Not by a long shot.
From the Pages of WWF Magazine, Here's Update: Hulk Hogan was a Guest on the Brother Love Show on SuperStars, but Slick brings out Big Boss Man, and together, they beat the unholy shit out of the Hulkster with a nightstick and a can of jheri-juice... I mean mace. Hulk with comments afterwards, still wearing the handcuffs used to cuff him to the security railing. Just to hype Survivor Series, I guess... LIVE ON PAY PER VIEW! Back to the studio, and Heenan shows his manly-ness by busting up Hulk Hogan's... Poster. Score one for the Heenan Family!
2. Greg "The Hammer" Valentine (w/ Jimmy Hart) vs. Tommy Angel:
Another exclusive, but it's a squash match, so who cares? Add to the fact it's Mooney and Hayes again, and you can hang yourself with a bar of soap on a rope. Valentine is still using the "Hart Breaker" shin-guard, something he would continue using until the Royal Rumble... 13 months later. Talk about a slow burning situation. Despite being a squash match, it takes Valentine a long time to win it. Valentine eventually wins with the Figure-Four Leglock, with an assist from the shinguard of doom, at 4:21. Afterwards, Lord Alfred goes through detail about how Hammer does the Figure Four with the shinguard. I guess working with Gorilla Monsoon inspired him to try his own complex rambling about how much pain someone is going through.
The Event Center with Sean Mooney. It's time to plug the Survivor Series, LIVE ON PAY PER VIEW. Call your local cable providers to order this once a year extravanga. We get promos from the co-captains the Ultimate Warrior (shaking like a retard) & Brutus Beefcake, then Honkytonk Man and Ron Bass. Just generic ramblings to hype up their match.
- Mr. Perfect vignette, with Curt Hennig playing chess. Of course, we only see him "win", but we don't know if this was rigged. Sadly, WWE redid this in 2002 for Mr. Perfect's return, except they had him CHEAT. That's not Mr. Perfect! Back to the studio, and Bobby Heenan heads off to get his make-up done.
3. The Honkytonk Man (w/ Jimmy Hart) vs. John Zeiglar:
Hey, it's another exclusive squash match, and the second in a row with a man managed by Jimmy Hart. Sean Mooney and Lord Alfred Hayes have the chemistry of a plugged in toaster and a bathtub full of water when it comes to their commentary skills. Honky with a more "impressive" showing than Valentine, pinning his scrub opponent with the Shake, Rattle N' Roll neck breaker at 2:29. Still too long for a squash match (they should be no more than 90-seconds, dammit!), but at least Honky didn't stand around doing nothing. He walked around and did nothing, instead!
On Location in Toledo, OH - Tony Pack's Cafe, home of the Hungarian HotDog! Heenan isn't impressed with the place, but Monsoon forces him in. Not muchgoes on, but Heenan does have a comical quip here and there. Monsoon heads off to get their hot dogs, and, of course, loads his hot dog with the super-hot-sauce, then pulls the old switcheroo on him, burning Heenan's mouth, and Gorilla chuckling the whole time. He's a bad, bad man.
We return to the studio, and Heenan has his make up done. He hasn't looked yet, thinking he's made up like Robert Redford, but in actuality, he has a nose and whiskers painted on his face like a Weasel. Monsoon can't control himself, but never tells Heenan what he looks like.
4. Paul Roma vs. "Dangerous" Danny Davis:
From Madison Square Garden, and I don't look forward to this match one bit. Commentary by Lord Alfred Hayes, Ron Tronguard (the old AWA guy), and Superstar Billy Graham. Paul Roma comes out to "Crank It Up", which is a surprise because 24/7 pretty much edits out all of the songs from back in the day that was on the two Wrestling albums. Match is NOT Joined in Progress, which is a real shame, but this match is not only bad, it's really fucking long, too. Roma is a decent wrestler, but nowhere near good enough to carry cat-shit worthless Danny Davis to a watchable match. Towards the end, Roma manages to escape a sucky chinlock, and connects with a missile dropkick to the back of the head for the three count at 13:21. At least he got him good. Superstar and Lord Alfred act like this was the greatest match of all time, but we all know how bad it really was. Just name a good Danny Davis match and you'll know how bad.
The Event Center with Sean Mooney, once again pimping the 2nd Annual Survivor Series. This time we hype up the 10-Tag Team match, with promos from the Rougeau Brothers (w/ Jimmy Hart), and the Powers of Pain... with some other guy?! I forgot, but I think it was Baron von Rashke under a hood and face paint?
The Brother Love Show with Hercules.
Probably from Superstars of Wrestling. Hercules had recently turned face after Heenan "sold him" to Ted Dibiase as a "slave." Coming up at the Survivor Series, Hercules will be on the team of the Mega Powers, and in a coincidence, Ted Dibiase will be on the Twin Tower's Team. Randy Savage comes out to offer Herc' the handshake of friendship. Good for him, says no one.
5. WWF Tag Team Championship Match:
Demolition © (w/ Mr. Fuji) vs. The Rockers:
The main feature of the show, also from Madison Square Garden. Demolition gets a much better babyface pop than the pretty boy Rockers. No surprise Demolition turned face about a month later. Another match I've already reviewed, and my opinion hasn't changed much. The Rockers go with their time-honored tradition of phoning it in whenever they aren't on national TV, and Demolition beats the crap out of them in between rest holds. I was just thinking... wouldn't it be awesome if Ax or Smash headbutts Michaels while wearing their masks with the studs on them? Anyway, back to the match... after Shawn takes a shit kicking, Marty gets the hot tag and cleans house of everything in site. Smash reverses a whip to the corner, but Jannetty with a cross body for no count, as all heck breaks loose. Ax and Smash get rammed into each other, and double dropkicks to both. Double slam on Smash, and a double clothesline nails Fuji off the apron. Jannetty heads to the top rope with a splash that misses by a good 2 feet, but it still gets a two count. Ax and Shawn go at it again. Marty tries another cross body, but Smash catches him, and Ax kills him with a clothesline from the apron, enough for Smash to get the three count at 13:18, and retain the Tag Team Titles. Slow match for the most part, but the last 3-4 minutes picked up quite nicely. The crowd being really hot helps a bit, too.
Back to the studio one more time. "Gorilla Monsoon" seems awfully quiet, but then suddenly Gorilla Monsoon comes onto the set, while Gorilla Monsoon is already there! Heenan then realizes the excellent make-up job to close out the show. They also hype up the Primetime Wrestling Special next week, from Paris, France. I might have to review that one too.
Final Thoughts: As usual, the studio segments are pretty entertaining. Rockers/Demolition was good, yet slow, and there was a few angle developments through the magic of the Brother Love Show. Everything else isn't worth the time of day, unless you're the only Danny Davis fan in the world.
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