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Guest Column #53 with OrangeGobinFan
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WCW SuperBrawl IV (1994)
- Commentary is handled by Tony Schiavone and Bobby Heenan, the latter making his PPV Debut with WCW. "Gene Mean" is doing countless backstage Interviews that will be ignored for the most part. If you're a Gene mark that needs to see him mentioned a lot, you're out of luck.
1. Thunder & Lightning vs. Harlem Heat:
Not exactly the best match to start a PPV with. Harlem Heat are Kane (Stevie Ray) and Kole (Booker T), obviously a few months away from swapping to the names we've known and loved for the last 12 years. I have no idea who Thunder & Lightning are, but another recapper says one of them went on to be the nWo's Sting, so take that for what it's worth. Bobby Heenan's running joke of the match is calling T&L "Batman & Robin." Boring, boring, boring match. The crowd pops here and there since it's the opener, but T&L do nothing but boring armbars and wristlocks. Harlem Heat don't exactly do much more. Lightning gets the hot tag and nails Kole with a belly-to-belly suplex, but that only gets two. He rolls Kole up next, but Kane boots Lightning in the head, and THAT wins it at 9:46? That was pathetic! Bad match, but at least the crowd was into it. (1/4*)
2. "Jungle" Jim Steel vs. The Equalizer:
Oh sweet fucking Jesus... Jim Steel is your typical island savage, or in other terms a Jimmy Snuka clone, minus the ability to get over. His hometown? The Florida Everglades. Too bad Steve Kiern didn't work with WCW around this time, otherwise they had a feud right there. The Equalizer looks like Dave Sullivan, as if he needed something else for fans to hate him for. This match sucks. Heenan makes Tarzan jokes to try and salvage for this match blowing. Who the hell thought it was a good idea to book THIS pile of shit onto a Pay-Per-View? I hope that person behind it suffers from explosive diarrhea. While the shit keeps going on and on... and on and on and on, we get some name-dropping of Hulk Hogan. Oh god, now I have "I want to be a Hulkamaniac" in my head. FUCK YOU EQUALIZER! FUCK YOU! After a lot of nothing, Jungle Jim pins the Equalizer with a Lou Thesz Press at 6:29, but it felt more like 45:00. What the fuck is this, 1964? Who the hell uses a Lou Thesz Press as a finishing move? If you didn't get the point yet, this was terrible. (-**)
3. Terry Taylor vs. Diamond Dallas Page (w/ Random Chick):
Yuck! DDP is in his "Scumbag Cigar Smoking Loser" era still, and looks to be quite out of shape. Terry Taylor is back once more in WCW after a failed run with the WWF as "Terrific" Terry Taylor, hoping to erase everyones memory that he was once dressing up like an actual Rooster. Taylor seems game to try and have a good match, and we even get a half-decent pinfall reversal sequenece. Once Taylor's string of cool moves and actual wrestling ends, it's all downhill. DDP doesn't do much but the basics, and is... moving... very... slowly... and I honestly can type like that and still call detailed PBP for this part of the match. Really long chinlocks by DDP kill the momentum the match had even further. The finish comes out of nowhere, with DDP missing a charge to the corner and Taylor rolling him up for the three count at 11:46. I hate that finish, since it doesn't do anything for either man. (*1/4)
4. Johnny B. Badd vs. Jimmy "Jam" Garvin (w/ Michael P.S. Hayes):
Garvin is a late substitution for Hayes, who backed out of the match at the start of the show, claiming a phantom knee injury. Sadly, Garvin doesn't used "Badstreet U.S.A." as his theme music, but rather the generic country style song they used in 1992, which sounds like a poor rip off of the original Freebird song by the group Lynyrd Skynyrd (ha, I wouldn't make that mistake twice!). Maybe it's me, but seeing Jimmy Garvin with short hair is quite unusual. Another fairly boring match that really doesn't go anywhere, as Garvin uses the old school heel tactics of stalling and running out of the ring to take Johnny out of the game. Nothing of note really happens for the most part. Garvin calls for the DDT, but stalls a lot, which means Badd is escaping. Badd escapes of course, takes over Garvin with a flying head scissors, and the Kiss That Don't Miss ("What a wonderful wrestling move...a punch") misses, but an uppercut doesn't. Badd with a top rope sunset flip gets the three count at 10:45. Decent ending to a boring rest of the match. (*1/2)
5. WCW Television Championship Match: Lord Steven Regal © (w/ Sir William) vs. Arn Anderson:
Anderson gets a pretty good babyface reaction, but I'm not going to be digging this match. Schiavone actually brings up Heenan managing Arn Anderson (of course, he doesn't use the phrase "in WWF"), and Heenan does his usual "he never listend to me!" stuff. Regal has his faggy umbrella wearing manager still. Michael Buffer gets to do the ring introductions for the rest of the show, I guess. Lots of stalling to begin with, and since this is for the TV Title, you'll be expecting a Time Limit Draw or something. The feeling out process keeps going on for a while longer, and then they take it to the mat with several wristlocks and armbars. Regal switches off to a headlock before Arn goes back to the arm. We're approaching 20-minutes now, and I haven't really made any decent summary of what's going on... oh, the manager dude cheats occasionally. Regal with a single leg crab and modified STF, but Anderson won't give up. Anderson comes back, but fails to apply a Figure-Four. Arn comes back again and applies a spinning toe hold, but Regal makes it to the ropes. Regal takes the match down to the canvas with his unique offense... actually trying to wrestle. After a little more of that, both men do the "I try to pin your arms down" spot for a good couple of minutes. Regal escapes a body scissors, but fails to apply a Boston Crab. Anderson with a sleeper hold, and a roll up gets a two count. 1-minute left! Anderson with a small package for a two count. Regal tries for a double-underhook suplex, but Anderson escapes and nails the Spinebuster! Anderson with a sunset flip into the ring, but Regal blocks and uses the ropes to win with 6 seconds left on the clock of 30 minutes (but it was a couple of minutes short). Brutally long and boring match, despite being a technically sound match. This is one of those matches you'll hate if you're a spot-monkey fan. (**)
6. WCW Tag Team Championship Match: The Nasty Boys © vs. Cactus Jack & Maxx Payne:
Tony Schiavone with the best unintentionally funny line of the match, saying all four men don't wrestle. Cacuts Jack is good, but everyone else involved here fucking blows at "fighting" too. The Nasty Boys have to be the suckiest team to "make it" in wrestling, and the fact Knobbs remained employed in WCW until 2000 makes me question the intelligence of the people that kept giving him contracts. Michael Buffer must've been one hell of a professional. I would've busted out laughing if I had to introduce these 4 guys. To the surprise of everyone, Payne actually controls the earliest part of the match with wrestling moves, and he didn't look too bad at doing them either. The crowd is really into this one... I gues there must've been something in the Atlanta water or something. Cactus gets to play the face-in-peril after missing something off the apron onto the exposed arena floor. Payne eventually gets the hot tag though, and cleans house. Sags brings a guitar into the ring (one they brought with them at the start of the match) and creams Payne with it, drawing the Disqualification at 12:27. Surprisingly good match, but the finish sucked, and they had a far better one at Spring Stampede a few months later. (**1/4)
7. ThunderCage Match #1:
Sting, Flyin' Brian Pillman, Dustin Rhodes vs. "Ravishing" Rick Rude, "Mr. Wonderful" Paul Orndorff, "Stunning" Steve Austin:
Finally something I can sit back and enjoy. I wasn't into WCW in 1994, but I can easily guess Pillman/Austin had a thing going after the break up of the Hollywood Blondes. I remember Sting feuding with Rude back in 1992-92, but don't here, and if I think hard enough, I kinda remember something about Rhodes/Orndorff. The faces get a great reaction from the crowd, but money says it's mainly for Sting and Pillman. Either way, it makes the match a lot more enjoyable. Sting has hot sequences with everyone to start, but then the heels take over on Flyin' Brian after he's sent into the cage wall outside of the ring. Sting ends up getting the hot tag and cleans house of everyone once again. Dustin Rhodes has basically done nothing so far, and we're nearly 10-minutes into the match! Well, shut my mouth, he tags in now, and cleans the clock of Mr. Wonderful. Hey, hey Paula! Rhodes plays the fae-in-peril now, but not before getting his licks in on Rude now. Pillman with the hot tag now. He kills Austin and a dropkick knocks Rude and Orndorff off the apron. Sting pounds on Rude and dumps Orndorf fout. Double back drop on Austin, and Sting press slams Pillman onto Austin for the three count at 14:34. After the match, Sting continues beating up Orndorff and Rude outside of the ring, but ends up taking the Rude Awakening. Very good match, with a nice blend of wrestling and brawling. Just a minor note, that Sting must've been the all-time SuperBrawl MVP at this point. a Great match in 1991 (vs. Steiners), a good match in 1992 (vs. Sting), another great match in 1993 (vs. Vader), and now this. Then in '95 got a surprisingly fun match out of worthless garbage like Big Bubba and Avalanch. (***1/2)
8. ThunderCage Match #2:
World Title Match: Ric Flair © vs. Big Van Vader (w/ Harley Race):
Speaking of Big Bubba, he's here as the Special Referee, except he's called THE BOSS, and he's pretty much using the Big Bosman character. He also has Scott Steiner's future "siren" music. Flair won the World Title at Starrcade '93, and this is the big rematch after Vader beat the crap out of Flair on an episode of Clash of the Champions. Good match as expected, but somewhat rushed, no doubt because everything else was given too much time, and by the time this match started, there was only about 15 minutes left on the PPV. Vader takes control a few minutes into it, and hits the top rope super-plex. The Boss (man, is he big) tries cuffing Race for interfering, but Vader nails him from behind and cuffs him instead. Now Race comes into the cage to help Vader beat down Flair, while the Boss huffs and puffs and fails to blow the cage down. Vader ends up missing a top rope pump-splash, nailing Race instead, and now Flair is cleaning house again. The action spills outside, and Flair bashes Vader good with a steel chair. Race takes a few shots too, just for fun. The Boss manages to break the cuffs and clobbers Vader with a nightstick. Flair applies the Figure-Four, and Boss calls for the bell at 11:43, despite Vader not giving up. Insert Montreal Joke Here. Talk about an over-booked mess. Still a good match, but that finish was terrible, something I'd expect out of a Hogan in WCW match. (**1/2)
Final Thoughts: Total throw-away show, and that shouldn't be a surprise to me, since I couldn't name 1 match on the card when I got this tape a few months ago. The undercard is complete trash, and the top matches aren't that much better. While the last 4 matches are all good, only one stands out, and that one isn't enough to save the show. I can easily say Recommendation to Avoid.
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