SPORTS-(RASSLIN)
Archive
More from "OrangeGoblinFan".
WWF WrestleFest 91 and 92
!---------------------begin guest column-----------------!
More Coliseum Video fun now that I have 14 new ones to review in due time. Tried doing
something that big before but, really, you never want to use a keyboard again after a few hours. This times selections are more of the insert year for the title of the tape as it's Wrestlefest 91 & Wrestlefest 92. I've never seen either tapes before, so hopefully everything is good.
WWF WRESTLEFEST 1991:
"Macho Man" Randy Savage is the host of this Coliseum Video, his first hosting job since "retiring". We can here and eventually see Savage watching the match in question from Wrestlemania VII where he lost to Ultimate Warrior in a Career vs. Career Match. Savage is apparently at his home, relaxing at pool side. Savage, although a good guy is still talking smack to the Warrior. He introduces us to the first match...
- Fan Favorites Match:
The Ultimate Warrior vs. Earthquake (w/ Jimmy Hart):
Earthquake actually brings up an incident from 1989 when he debuted, squashed Warrior in a push up contest featuring Dino Bravo & The Warrior. Warrior ironically has his WM VI tights on. Earthquake attacks Warrior in the ropes before the bell, but Warrior no-sells and puts Quake down after a diving shoulder block. Warrior goes after Jimmy so Earthquake attacks Warrior and rams his back into the ring apron. Earthquake stomps all over Warrior and rams him into the turnbuckle. Earthquake with a choke followed by some beating on the back. Warrior attempts a comeback but get's squashed in a corner with a knee followed by a butt splash. Earthquake chokes Warrior across the second rope and the beating continues. Earthquake locks in a bear-hug barely three minutes into the match. Earthquake connects with an elbow drop and goes for the end. Earthquake bounces off the ropes, and nails the vertical splash....FOR TWO! Warrior gains the power of the warriors and starts shaking the ropes, no-selling any offensive manuevers. Warrior with three clotheslines and Warrior with a full slam! Warrior with a big splash and it's already over at 5:37! *1/2 Quick and painless, but the Bear-hug killed the flow of it. Warrior still has the energy to run back to the locker room.
- Manager-Cam Match:
Big Boss Man vs. The Mountie (w/ Jimmy Hart):
The big thing about this is the whole match takes place from Jimmy Harts point of view, and the only commentary is his giving instructions to the Mountie. Boss Man catches Mountie with a nasty big boot, sending his shock prod flying. Boss Man with a series of headbutts and he catches Mountie in a leap frog attempt with a spine buster. Boss Man grabs Hart from behind and steals his jacket. Hart complains about Boss Man stealing his jacket, begging like a girl. Hart badmouths the referee, who is ironically, Danny Davis, the referee he managed as a wrestler in 1987-88. Boss Man continues to beat the crap out of the Mountie in and out of the ring. Back in the ring and Boss Man chokes Mountie across the second rope and nails the sit down splash. Boss Man gives as another as a Coliseum Video exclusive and continues to choke Rougeau. Mountie loses a slug-fest and gets choked in the corner. Irish whip to the corner and Boss Man misses a knee, hitting the buckle instead. Mountie with a series of shoulders to the leg of Boss Man and stomps away at him. Mountie tie the leg in the ropes and serves Boss Man his boot and offers seconds. Mountie wraps Boss Man's leg around the ring post and does more stomping on the knee of Boss Man. Mountie gets the microphone and yells out "I'm da Mountieeeee!!" Boss Man comeback #1 works and he nails the side slam out of nowhere at 6:31! After the match Mountie zaps Boss Man with the cattle prod with extra zap sound effects. * Kind of hard to rate a match like this, so i'll go with the OK rating.
- The Rockers vs. Power & Glory (w/ Slick):
From a Primetime Wrestling taping it seems, and it's one of those feuds I still don't know
how it started (editor's note: Herc and Roma teamed up on PTW.
About two weeks later, Roma appeared as a jobber and lost a squash match on
"Superstars". Roma was given a beating and Herc came out to help. Rockers came
down for their match, and Herc and Roma were still in the ring.
Rockers tried to help, but Herc and Roma wanted none of it.
Shoves resulted. Unkind words were exchanged. And now ya' know..) From the result of the match, I can defintely say this match has been reviewed before. We get some major stalling to start and Slick offers to fight Jannetty. Michaels and Roma start the match with a lockup and Michaels with a headlock into a go behind hammerlock. Roma reverses, so Michaels reverses back and they end up in the ropes. Michaels with another hammerlock and Roma caches him with an eblow to the face. Several roundhouse rights by Roma and he stomps away in the corner. Michaels reverses a whip to the corner and catches Roma with a hurricanrana. double super kick is teased but Hercules begs off. Double clothesline misses so they nail the super kick anyway and send Roma out and celebrate. Roma hammers Jannetty in the ring with clubbering blows. Hercules gets in a cheap shot and Roma does more of the same and nails a standing dropkick to the mouth of Jannetty, sending him out. Jannetty slides back in the ring and hammer sroma. Irish whip and Jannetty with a charging clothesline for two. Reverse chinlock by Jannetty and he goes after Slick. Front-face lock is applied but Roma breaks it in the corner with a series of shoulders to the midsection. Hercules puts Jannetty down from behind and we get some double stompin'. Irish whip and P&G with a double elbow to Jannetty. Hercules finally tags in for the first time and we get the Jannetty over-selling a clothesline spot, and Hercules covers for two. Gorilla Press Slam by Hercules and Roma tags in to nail a jumping elbow drop. Roma eventually makes the cover and it gets two. Reverse chinlock by Roma. Roma prevents a comeback with a knee to the midsection. Irish whip and Jannetty tries a sunset flip, but Roma blocks it, only to miss a fist to the face. Jannetty criss crosses and runs right into a clothesline. Hercules comes in to dump Jannetty outside where Roma slams him on the padded arena floor. Hercules brings Jannetty in and nails a snap suplex for two. Roma gets the tag in and heads to the top rope to nail a chop across the head of Jannetty a la Tatanka. Irish whip to the corner and Roma nails a back elbow. Repeat but this time Roma does the Bret running into the corner sell. Michaels FINALLY gets the hot tag and hammers away on Roma with rights and more rights. Cheap shot to Hercules and we get the diving back elbow. Irish whip is reversed but Michaels catches Roma with a swinging neckbreaker. Atomic drop to Hercules followed by a clothesline sends Hercules out and the Rockers do some kind of goofy slam/suplex. Double fist drop is coming but Slick holds Michaels' ankle, so BOTH Rockers do a chase with Slick, getting count-out at 12:05 because they are idiots. P&G try some post match beatings but shoulder dives send them out. Slick is taken out with a double clothesline and double dropkick. The Rockers dance around wearing Slicks hat in a funny spot. *1/2 Surprisingly, a not that good Rockers match. I remember seeing the SSlam 90 match between the two and it was very entertaining, but this was prett bleh.
- "Texas Tornado" Kerry Von Erich (w/ Virgil) vs. "Million Dollar Man" Ted Dibiase:
Taped from the same day as the Wrestlemania VII Primetime Wrestling Special, but I don't believe it aired. Before the match gets underway, Tornado, sounding drunk/stoned, talks trash and brings out Virgil to be in his corner. It's funny seeing roided up Virgil in 1991 and string bean Virgil in 1992. In a cute spot, Dibiase bad mouths Virgil, when Tornado taps his shoulder he shrugs him off to tell him just a minute, continues verbally running down Virgil, and this time Tornado taps him and nails him with a big roundhouse right when he turns around. Tornado rams Dibiases head into the ring apron and steel steps. Back in the ring they go and Dibiase does a lot of begging. Knee to the midsection by Dibiase followed by a series of knife-edge chops. Tornado blocks going into the buckle and rams Dibiase into it ten times and school boys him for two. Clothesline by Von Erich sends Dibiase outside, so Virgil tosses him back the ring to be rolled-up again for two. Dibiase goes outside to go after Virgil and here comes Von Erich to be beaten down. Tornado blocks and Dibiase rams his own arm into the ring post. Tornado nails the Tornado Punch outside the ring, but he tries a second one and punches the ring post instead. Dibiase slams Tornados hand across the ring steps several times and they finally head back in. Tornado with a succesion of rights and chops. Tornado tries fighting back but hurts his hand in the process. Irish whip and Dibiase with a back elbow. More trash talk to Virgil and Dibiase pounds on Tornado with forearms. Irish whip and Dibiase with a clothesline followed by the big fist drop. Tornado gets tossed outside the ring for no reason. Tornado on the apron and Dibiase tries a suplex in, but Virgil scoops the leg from under him, allowing Tornado to fall on top for the three count, with some extra help from Virgil, at 4:18. *** Actually a very good match considering Von Erich was way past his prime by now, and due to it being kept short, it didn't need any rest holds.
- "British Bulldog" Davey Boy Smith vs. Haku:
This appears to be Davey Boy Smiths return to the WWF, as Haku has shorter hair than the Spring of 1991, and is wearing the tights from the time. Or i'm just making excuses. They lockup and Bulldog with a clean break. Lockup again and another clean break. Bulldog with an armbar and Haku with the reversal into a wrist lock. Bulldog does his flip and kip up to reverse so Haku rakes the eyes and applies a standing side headlock. Irish whip and Bulldog is put down with a shoulder block. Criss cross sequence and Bulldog nails a standing dropkick which sends Haku running to the outside. Back inside and Bulldog with an arm drag takeover. Bulldog with another arm drag followed by a delay scoop slam. Lockup and Haku takes Bulldog to the corner, nailing several chops. Bulldog reverses a whip to the corner and catches Haku in a sleeper hold. Haku snapmares Bulldog off and bounces off the ropes, only to be taken down with an armbar. Haku chops the knee of Bulldog and catches him with an inverted atomic drop in a monkey flip attempt. Haku stomps the midsection of Bulldog and nails a B-E-A-utiful jumping piledriver for two! Haku pulls the hair of Bulldog in a modified camel clutch. Chops to the back of the neck by Haku followed by an Irish whip, and Haku applies a sleeper hold. Bulldog breaks free with elbows and tries a sunset flip, but Haku blocks and we get the double cross body press, where Bulldog lands on top for two. Haku gets up first and pounds on Bulldog with those stiff chops and applies a reverse chinlock. Both men trade forearms and headbutts. Irish whip by Haku and he misses a dropkick. Bulldog with the Irish whip and he back drops Haku into the lights. Irish whip again and Bulldog with a back elbow followed by a clothesline for two. Irish whip by Bulldog so Haku kicks him in the head. Another irish whip and Bulldog with the crucuifix pin for three at 7:53! ** An actually decent match, which I was NOT expecting from these two. I was expecting a 15-minute snore-fest.
- Brutus' Barber Shop Grooming Tips! For those who viewed Wrestlecrap before it died, this was one of the last entries, from this exact segment. Brutus here has the WORST hair style and his tights leave nothing to the imagination. He's going to show us how to look and feel your best. (Shudders) Brutus runs down facial products and has his own favorite...Mud from the Dead Sea, in a container conveniently labeled "Mud From the Dead Sea". Beefcake rubs the mud all over the dudes face, making me want to cry from the crap already. "Bob" can't breath so Beefcake sticks a straw in his mouth. Beefcake is onto taking care of his hair. He does a slight trimming or in real terms, a bad trimming. Beefcake tosses out the hair supplies and cracks an egg over his hair and rubs it in, then he mixes in pieces of the shell. The final step is the best way to get the mud off and hair dried. Beefcake's hair dryer is a leaf blower, and the guy's face expressions are just....um...odd. Wow, whoever thought this up must have been really stupid or thought it was funny.
- Greg "The Hammer" Valentine vs. Rick "The Model" Martel:
This match was taped about a week before Wrestlemania VII, where both men lost to their opponents, both in easy fassion. Martel with a headlock from a lockup, and Valentine reverses with a hammer-lock. Lockup and Martel with a hammer-lock now but Valentines reverses with a go behind and Martel grabs the ropes. Lockup to the ropes and Martel with a shove. Valentine shoves back and Martel stumbles to the outside. Back in the ring and Valentine with a standing side headlock. Irish whip doesn't work and Valentine takes Martel down to his knees. Martel hammers the kindey of Valentine but misses a knee into the corner. Valentine kicks Martels leg from under him and tries hyper-extending the ligament in Martels leg. Sit-down splash across the knee by Valentine and he applies a spinning toe hold. Martel with a nasty boot in the face to break the hold but is put down again with an elbow to the neck. Valentine with a series of knees to the inside part of Martels left knee and drops an elbow across the inside the leg. Hammer continues twisting the knee of Martel and snaps back the leg. Martel recovers enough to choke Valentine and hobbles around a bit. Martel dumps Valentine out of the ring to catch a break. Martel soon follows and rams the back of Valentine into the edge of the ring. Martel with an elbow drop across the back of the Hammer followed by double axe-handle from the second rope. Martel pounds the back of Valentine and applies the abdominal stretch in the middle of the ring, so I suspect he can't use the ropes for leverage. Valentine with a hip toss breaks the hold. Martel to the second rope and he jumps into a fist of Valentine, catching him in the midsection. Hammer rams Martels head into the turnbuckle and pounds on Martel with a flurry of rights and lefts. Valentine with a bionic elbo followed by a atomic drop and clothesline, sending Martel out through the top and second ropes. Valentine follows out to chop Martel a few times. Both men trade blows and are BOTH counted-out at 8:36. ** Another decent match from guys I didn't think would work well together. Martel rams Valentine into the ring post outside the ring and he tosses him back inside. Martel grabs the Arrogance spray, but Valentine chops him down and applies the figure-four leglock to a BIG pop!
- Koko B. Ware vs. The Warlord (w/ Slick):
This is...unusual. Koko rarely makes Coliseum Video appearences in singles matches between 1991-93, and never against opponents he has no chance of defeating like here. Ware still gets big pops considering he never won a match against established people since 1988. To example anyone he's beaten, I can remember Boris Zhukov, The Genius, Frenchy Martin, Danny Davis, and the Brooklyn Brawler (semi-push 89 version). Lockup and Warlord with the super shove into the corner. Koko trries getting the crowd into it and they do. Warlord with a choke lift and throw into the corner. Ware with a thumb to the eyes and a series of roundhouse rights. Ware does the chases scene and dances around outside like a bird. Do The Bird! Knee to the midsection by Warlord and he s-l-o-w-l-y pounds the back of Koko. Poke of the eyes again by Ware followed by a series of jabs and another eye rake. Ware bounces off the ropes and ends up back dropped to the outside. Warlord with a blow across the chest of Koko sends him back down again. Ware tries a sunset flip in, but Warlord blocks with a punch to the face. Stomps to the back by Warlord and he smashes his back some more with a giant forearm. Irisih whip to the corner and Warlord catches Ware on the rebound with a bear-hug. Warlord with a body slam and he misses an elbow drop. Ware "Birds-Up" and nails a series of rights and a headbutt. Irish whip is reversed but Warlord hits the buckle and Ware with a school boy for two! Ware is whipped to the corner but he heads to the top rope witha beautiful missile dropkick for two again! Criss cross and Ware misses a blind leap, hanging himself across the top rope. See also Survivor Series 1990. Warlord scoops up Koko and plants him with a powerslam for the win at 6:39. * Pretty much a squash match but I'm surprised Koko got so much offense in against the talentless hoss who is known as The Warlord. Well, at least a good match is coming up.
- Tag Team Match Of The Month:
The Hart Foundation vs. Legion Of Doom:
This is going to be an awesome match in my opinion. It's the battle of the two top baby-face tag teams in the WWF, so it's going to be odd to see if one of the teams wrestles heel. Both teams were heels before, and in the Road Warriors case, several years, as were the Hart Foundation. Niedhart and Animal start the match with a lockup. Niedhart barely wins the push off and they lockup again. Animal win it this time. Animal with blows to the midsection so Niedhart comes back with some heavy duty forearms. Irish whip and a shoulder block moves no one. Criss cross and a double clothesline puts both men down. Animal misses an elbow drop and Niedhart with an irish whip. Animal reverses and nails the diving shoulder tackle. Hawk with the tag in and he works a wrist-lock. Bret with the blind tag and hammers the midsection of Hawk. Several bionic elbows by Bret. Irish whip is reversed and Hawk with a gorilla press slam, but Bret slips out and tries a roll up, but Hawk blocks. Bret charges Hawk and ends up back-dropped onto the arena floor. Hawk with a headbutt outside the ring puts Bret back down and he throws him back inside. Irish whip and Hawk gets caught with a swinging neck breaker for two. Anvil tags back in and the two men lockup. Hawk with a standing side headlock. Irish whip by Niedhart and Bret catches Hawk with a knee to the back. Niedhart with a clothesline to Hawk and he tosses him out of the ring, where Bret goes to work, with a vicious stomp to the midsection. Bret tosses Hawk back inside where Anvil clubs Hawk with forearms to the back and nails a charging clothesline for two. Bret tags in and hammers the midsection of Hawk. Snapmare by Bret followed by an elbow drop. Back breaker by the Hitman and he covers for two. Front facelock by Bret and Anvil tags in to work over Hawk some more. Niedhart with a BIG scoop slam for a two count. Bret in with a stomp to the midsection followed by a snapmare and a second rope elbow drop for two again. Bret with a front facelock on the mat. Hawk starts to power up and makes the tag...but Niedhart distracts the referee from seeing. Hart Foundation double teaming and Bret whips Anvil into Hawk with a shoulder block for two. Niedhart in with those blows to the midsection followed by a snapmare into a reverse chinlock. Niedhart uses his knee to drive more preassure into the neck of Road Warrior Hawk. Irish whip and Hawk slams Niedharts face into the canvas. Niedhart recovers quickly enough to apply the front headlock again. Hawk back to his feet, and now Bret runs in to plant a boot in Animals midsection. Animal chases Bret around the ring and ends up back inside where the referee cuts him off, allowing the Foundation to hit the Hart Attack out of nowhere! Animal breaks the count befpre it can be started. Bret hammers on Hawk with rights and connects with an inverted atomic drop. Bret with a boot to the midsection of Hawk followed by a big roundhouse right. Back in the corner and Bret with series of rights to the sternum. Anivl chokes Hawk behind the referees back, and they do the sling shot bit again, but Bret meets turnbuckle and Hawk clotheslines the Anvil down. Anivl gets the HOT tag with an atomic drop to Anvil and diving shoulder tackle to Bret. Stomps to Niedhart and he whips Bret into his partner! Irish whip to the corner and Hawk whips Animal into Bret with a clothesline! Doomsday Device is coming but Anvil ttrips up Hawk from the top rope and Bret with a victory roll to Animal for two! Back breaker by Hart and he slingshots Anvil into the ring with a shoulder tackle! Bret goes to the top rope and Anvil launches him into Animal, but Animal catches him with a powerslam while Hawk restrains Anvil and that gets the pin at 12:21!! After the match the LOD and Anvil help Bret back to his feet and both teams with hand shakes and hugs. **** I probably over-rated it, but damn it the match was awesome, and is probably one of the best Coliseum Video matches I've ever seen, but thats just for now. Awesome pace kept the entire match, and seeing the Foundation work the heel style and still get cheered for it is a breath of fresh air.
- Marty Jannetty vs. Tanaka (w/ Mr. Fuji):
Well, after the last match this will definitely not get the attention it probably disserves. This is from a Madison Square Garden event taped in March of 1991. I remember having a tape somewhere with Shawn Michaels vs. Kato from the same event, which makes me wonder how depleated the roster was to have to break two tag teams into singles matches to fill out the card. Mooney has a bad habit of calling Jannetty "Shawn Michaels". Both men dance around a bit before locking up. Tanaka with a kick to the back followed by a reverse crescent kick. Chops to the back of the neck and Jannetty is rammed to the buckle. Jumping headbutt by Tanaka and he applies a side headlock. Irish whip by Jannetty and Tanaka with a shoulder block. Criss cross leads to Tanaka running into a big forearm of Jannetty and he runs outside. Back in the ring and Jannetty applies a side headlock. Irish whip and Jannetty with the shoulder block followed by another roundhouse right to send Tanaka outside...again. Jannetty with a plancha out of nowhere puts Tanaka down. Tanaka is back inside again and he unties a turnbuckle. Jannetty teases jumping on Fuji and Tanaka...CA'NT remove the turnbuckle. Shoves by Tanaka and Jannetty hammers away on him and nails a diving back elbow followed by a reverse crescent kick! Tanaka hides in the corner and rams Jannetty into the semi-exposed turnbuckle. Irish whip to the corner is reversed but Jannetty cross body presses the ring post and lands outside the ring. Tanaka distracts the referee but Fuji doesn't cane him. Snapmare by Tanaka followed by a headbutt below the belt. Tanaka with a thrust to the throat of Jannetty and he continues with the chops to the neck. Irish whip to the corner and Tanaka runs into a big boot. Jannetty to the second rope with a modified bulldog headlock for two. Jannetty pummels Tanaka in the corner but is tripped up and Tanaka covers with his feet on the ropes, only for a two count. Jannetty with a school boy from behind gets two as well. Tanaka catches Jannetty with the crescent kick. Irish whip and Jannetty is nailed with a spinning cross body for two. IN the corner they go and Tanaka with a BIG chop sending Jannetty flying over the top rope. Jannetty is nailed with a series of headbutts on the apron, but he slide sback in between the legs and whips Tanaka to the ropes, but Tanaka puts him back down with a double axe-handle. Tanaka scoops Jannetty up for a tombstone piledriver but Jannetty reverses and nails a SICK looknig piledriver of his own for the three count at 10:52. **3/4 Match started off slow but the second half picked up quite a bit, making it one of the better matches on the tapes, but still, a let down thanks to an awesome match before it.
- Randy Savage closes out the tape, and in the middle of the good bye speech, he gets a phone call at a bad time. It's Elizabeth apparently and Savage says the call is a good time. Savage rambles more and thanks WWF and Coliseum Video for letting him host the tape, and goes back to talking on the phone with "Elizabeth".
Final Thoughts: Definite Thumbs Up here, as nothing is really bad. There are a few OK matches, but theres enough good-great matches on this tape to make an enjoyable two hour viewing. Definitely recommended to see The Hart Foundation vs. Legion Of Doom match at least.
WWF WRESTLEFEST 1992: WWF SUPERSTARS IN ACTION!
- The Hosts for this Coliseum Video are thankfully Mean Gene Okerlund....and BOBBY HEENAN! YES! To make it even better, Okerlund is going to teach Heenan to play Tennis. On Rampage 91, he tought him Golf, and their skits were very hilarious, with Heenans goof ups and excesive cheating. Heenan in shorts is just too funny already. Heenan is prepared to play Tennis...and he's hold a ping Pong Paddle. He says if you play with the chinese guy he'll bring them egg rolls. Heenan continues complaining about the heat as we go to the first match.
- Virgil vs. Shawn Michaels (w/ Sensational Sherri):
From Madison Square Garden, about two weeks before Wrestlemania VIII. Virgil is sporting nose protection after Sid Justice broke his nose ramming his face into a turnbuckle. How he broke it that way is beyond me. Very early in Michaels' "HBK" gimmick as he's still feeling his way around the gimmick. They lockup and Michaels takes Virgil to the corner and punches the mask, hurting his hand in the process like an idiot. Sherri kisses his hand to make it better and the two lockup again. Michaels stops himself the second time, slaps Virgil in the face and runs outside the ring to hide. Virgil goes after him with a roundhouse right and we get a chase. Criss cross sequence and Virgil with a side headlock. Michaels with an elbow to the side of the face in the corner followed by a whip across the ring. Virgil does the flip over escape and rolls up Michaels for two followed by a side headlock takeover. Michaels takes Virgil to the corner again and hammers away with rights and lefts. Irish whip is reversed and Virgil with a series of clotheslines, but Michaels side steps a third, sending Virgil to the outside. Back inside and Michaels removes the mask for a big blow to the nose of Virgil, which he sells like he's been shot. Michaels with a snapmare followed by a jumping foot stomp to the side of Virgils face. Michaels hammers away at the mask which doesn't hurt his hand anymore. Michaels pulls on the nose of Virgil possibly the dumbest offensive move ever. Michaels with a boot to the face for a two count. Reverse chinlock by Michaels and this kills a little time. Virgil powers up with elbows to the midsection but Michaels puts him back down with a big boot on the corner for two. Michaels continues hammering away at the exposed face of Virgil, followed by a snapmare and choking. Michaels continues his methodical offense. Virgil catches Michaels with a back slide for two and Michaels puts him down again with a clothesline for two of his own. Virgil eats the turnbuckle and the mask goes flying. The referee recovers it for him and re-applies it. Irish whip and Virgil slams Michaels face into the canvas and both men are down. Virgil slaps his way up and nails michaels with a series of roundhouse rights followed by an atomic drop and inverted atomic drop. Irish whip and Virgil with a back elbow followed by a clothesline and dropkick! Virgil with a sloppy side russian leg sweep for two. Michaels is introduced to the turnbuckle and Virgil whips him across the ring. Virgil misses a knee to the buckle and Michaels nails his unique inverted back suplex out of nowhere for three at 12:11. **1/4 Too slow and methodical to warrant anything higher, but it wasn't a bad match, it was just a little slow. Michaels and Sherri celebrate in the ring afterwards.
- WWF-Tag Team Championship Match:
Money Inc. (c) (w/ Jimmy Hart) vs. The Bushwhackers:
This ain't going to be pretty, especially with the Bushwhackers included. This is either early in their second tenure as champions, or around the Spring of 1992, can't really tell. The Marching Morons creep out kids when they try licking them. We find out this is their first title reign. Money Inc. pound on the Bushwhackers to start, but a whip partners into each other thing actually WORKS! Stomping continues and a double bulldog is blocked with whips of Dibiase into IRS. Bushwhackers bite the butts of their opponents and nail clotheslines to clear the ring. Butch and I.R.S appear to start the match. IRS with a knee to the midsection and a fist to the forehead. Dibiase comes in with a fist and some choking behind the referees back. Dibiase hammers away on Butch and Irwin comes in with some free blows to the midsection. Irish whip to the corner and i.R.S eats boot. Butch with a bulldog to I.R.S and Luke bulldogs Dibiase. double noggin knocker followed by a battering ram to both men to clean the ring again. Luke with a headlock on I.R.S, and Dibiase catches him with a knee to the back. Double teaming by Money Inc. behind the referee's back and Dibiase with an elbow drop. I love how the heels would clap their hands behind the referes back, making it sound like they tagged. Damn, I miss the old days, even though 1992 isn't old to some people. Anything before 1990 is ancient to most people nowadays. Abdominal stretch by Dibiase and three guesses how they cheat. Irish whip and Money Inc. with a double back elbow. I.R.S with a weak leg drop (no elevation) for two. Reverse chinlock by I.R.S and he's sent to the buckle. Dibiase comes back in with blows to the midsection. Irish whip and Luke with a boot to the face. Both teams tag so Butch hammers away on I.R.S and nails clotheslines to both champions. Battering Ram to Schyster for two. Luke hammers on Dibiase while Hart comes in with his megaphone. Butch catches him but Irwin with a knee to the back followed by an elbow drop gets three at 8:31 to retain the titles. DUD Like anyone expected higher for this match. I like Dibiase, but really, wrestling Butch & Luke is punishment in my books.
- Back to Okerlund & Heenan. Heenan whistles at some girls passing by while Gene gives the instructions of serving. Heenan seems to understand the rules. Gene hits Heenan in the groin by mistake with his rackey, and Heenan tells him to watch out with the fly swatter. Gene serves and hits an old lady apparently, because Heenan has a nice chuckle. Heenan stiffs a waitress for drinks, which Gene says is Mickied. Heenan doesn't care, because it's free. Coming up next is a tennis match while we go to the action.
- "British Bulldog" Davey Boy Smith vs. Rick "The Model" Martel:
This has a chance to be a good match. Lockup and Martel with a series of knees to the midsection and ramming his head to the buckle. Bulldog reverses a whip to the corner but Martel flips around and poses. Bulldog with a side headlock. Martel complains about a hair pull but Bulldog objects...LOUDLY I might add. Martel ends up on the apron, so Bulldog sling shots him back in. Armbar by Bulldog but he's sent to the corner. Martel misses an elbow to the turnbuckle and Bulldog re-applies the armbar. Irish whip and Bulldog blocks an arm drag with one of his own. Bulldog applies an arm-scissors and turns it into an armbar. Irish whip and Model sends Bulldog out of the ring via the second rope. Martel sneaks around and attack the back of Bulldog and rams his back into the ring apron. Double axe-handle off the apron connects and he tosses Bulldog back in the ring. Martel with an elbow drop to the back followed by a knee drop. Martel rams Bulldog's face into the turnbuckle and chokes away on the brit. Irish whip to the corner is reversed but Martel catches Bulldog with a knee to the face for two. Irish whip and Bulldog catches Martel with boot to the face. Atomic drop and clothesline by Bulldog and he follows up with another. Irish whip and Martel runs to the outside where Bulldog rams his head into the apron. Bulldog with a sunsey flip back in, but Martel blocks for two. Bulldog reverses it back and that gets three at 5:24?! *1/2 Nothing great, and shockingly short. I expected longer since Bulldog never made a real comeback at the end.
- Bret "Hitman" Hart introduces us to clips of his best matches from 1991. We get the last two minutes from his match versus Mr. Perfect from Summerslam 1991 and some brief clips from the end if his match at This Tuesday In Texas against Skinner. Nothing earth shattering, and it seems the Skinner match has made it to about five different Coliseum Videos in 1991-92.
- WWF-Intercontinental Championship Match:
Bret "Hitman" Hart (c) vs. The Barbarian:
Why must WWF put Barbarian matches on every Coliseum Video! From a Wrestling Challenge taping. Barbarian fits himself with the Intercontinental Title while Hitman gives his sunglasses to some little dork. Lockup and Barbarian takes Bret to the corner, where BRET with a cheap shot!! Lockup and Barbarian with a standing side headlock. Irish whip and Bret is knocked all the way into the entrance aisle with a shoulder block!!! Bret gets back in the ring for another lockup where he applies a headlock. Irish whip by The Barbarian and he nails another nasty shoulder block. Bret bounces off the ropes and is put down again. Bret tries a cross body press but Barbarian simply slams him down hard. Bret avoids an elbow drop and hammers away on the Barbarian with rights, followed by a wrist lock. Irish whip and Bret with a boot to the face followed by another wrist lock, turned into an armbar. Irish whip and Bret ducks a big boot, only to be caught in a bear-hug. Bret rakes the eyes to escape and applies another armbar. Barbarian with a cheap boot to the midsection followed by a stun gun. Barbarian sends Bret outside the ring where he rams his back into the steel ring post several times and stomps away at the back of his neck. Back in the ring and Barbarian with a choke. Irish whip to the corner and Bret does the 100 mph bump chest first. Back breaker by The Barbarian gets a two count. Barbarian applies a bear-hug, a very bad one I might add. Bret tries pushing away from Barbarian but to no avail, so he rakes the eyes for the break. Barbarian continues the punishment in the corner and whips him across the ring and nailing a series of blows. Irish whip again but this time Bret connects with a big boot followed by an inverted atomic drop and clothesline for two! Back breaker by Bret and he goes to the second rope for an elbow drop for another two count. Hart with a side russian leg sweep and that gets two as well. Barbarian kicks out sends Bret out of the ring. Bret with a sunset flip back in and that gets another two count. Barbarian with a delayed vertical suplex and a cover for two. Barbarian picks Bret up, but he obviously doesn't watch Bret Hart matches, because Bret is playing possum and surprises him with a small package for the three count at 12:30. *1/4 too long and boring, but the end saved it from DUD's ville. I'm hoping this match never aired on television, it sucked.
- Thankfully we go back to some Heenan/Okerlund skits. We emediately see Heenan can't play worth his life, missing balls left and right by miles, and when he actually does hit them, he sucks. His Mystery Opponent is Monica Sele's Sisters Best Friends Tennis Partner, and she's simply sitting in a lawn chair serving balls out of a basket. Heenan is whiffing balls by a mile! One nearly catches him in the groin, but the next one hits his head. He blames his sucking on the racket, which is what I do all the time when I'm on my D game. "Damn Racket! I'm not use to it."
- Tag Team Match Of The Month:
The Natural Disastors vs. The Nasty Boys (w/ Jimmy Hart):
Dear God, I really want a good match on this tape. Sags starts the match with Typhoon, connecting with a series of elbows. Slam attempt doesn't work so Typhoon slams him and connects with a clothesline. Irish whip to the corner and Typhoon with an avalanch splash. Knobbs tags in next for some bad mouthing. Earthquake tags in and we get a showdown of Hogan friends. Shove-fest goes Earthquakes way and he nails a shoulder block. Irish whip to the corner and Earthquake with another shoulder block followed by an elbow drop. Sags catches Earthquake in the back with a knee and hammers away on him. Apparently, he used the megaphone instead. Knobbs tags in for some double teaming of Earthquake and Knobbs hammers him. Sags with elbows to the back of the head followed by a series of roundhouse rights in the corner. Knobbs with a choke to Earthquake and we get some double teaming. Earthquake tries a comeback but Sags stomps away at the left leg. Irish whip and Earthquake is nails a series of back elbows followed by an eye rake. Knobbs back in with more bad offense and shoulders to the midsection in the corner. Irish whip to the corner is blocked and Quake with a big boot. Sags comes in and tries a sunset flip. Quake squashes him for a two count. Knobbs in with a clothesline so Quake with a bearhug. Earthquake with an elbow drop on Sags for three at 6:31 and Typhoon slams Jimmy Hart into Knobbs. -1/2* Total cluster-f*ck at the end, with the pin not even being on camera. Typhoon was in the ring for all of 30 seconds, which makes it even worse.
- Fan Favorite Match; WWF-World Championship Match:
"Macho Man" Randy Savage (c) vs. Irwin R. Schyster (w/ Jimmy Hart):
Yes, finally something that has a chance to be really good. I.R.S is one-half of the Tag Team Champions here, and Savage is only about four days removed from winning the World Title from Ric Flair at Wrestlemania VIII. I'm pretty sure this match aired on Primetime Wrestling, or whatever. I.R.S examins inside his briefcase...FORSHADOWING! Savage offers Irwin into the ring but no dice. Lockup and we get a lean break. Savage with a standing side headlock. Irish whip by I.R.S. but Savage holds onto the hold. Savage releases the hold and teases going after Hart outside the ring. Lockup and Savage with another headlock. Irish whip and Savage with a shoulder block followed by a hip toss and clothesline, sending Irwin to the outside. Irwin already seems to be sweating buckets and its only a minute or so into the match! Lockup is taken into the corner and Savage catches a boot from Irwin and nails an atomic drop, sending Irwin over the top rope to the floor. Savage dives to the outside and shoves I.R.S. into Jimmy and throws him back into the ring, nailing a double axe-handle off the top rope for a two count! Savage goes after Hart again, allowing Irwin to drive akne einto his back and leg dropping him between the legs. Irwin throws Savage over the top rope to the outside wjere Hart gets a cheap shot with his ugly shoes. Irwin introduces Savage's face into the steel steps and Hart mouths off to the camera. Back in the ring and Savage with a sunset flip out of nowhere for two. Irwin with a boot the midsection followed by an elbow drop for two. Schyster with an abdominal stretch by Irwin and of course he uses the ropes for leverage. Savage breaks the hold with an arm drag and school boys I.R.S for two. Irwin with a headbutt and boh men trade blows. Savage with a series of left jabs, but he runs into a knee of Irwin and lands outside the ring again. Irwin follows this time and rams Savage's face into the apron and connects with an elbow across the chin. Reverse chinlock applied by Schyster back in the ring, and again uses the ropes for leverage. Schyster connects with an elbow drop and goes to the top rope, eating boot on the way down. Savage rams Irwins face into the buckle and whips him across the ring, connecting with a back elbow. Another whip to the corner and Savage has Irwin by the tongue....I mean tie. Savage with a cheap shot, but he misses a sit down splash and now Irwin connects with the Write Off....for two!!! Hart with the briefcase on the apron, and Savage sends Irwin into it instead! Savage nails Jimmy off the apron and goes to the top rope, connecting with the flying elbow drop for the win and to retain the title at 11:15. ***1/2 Really good match overall. Savage was in a peak of having good matches left and right at this point and this is nmo exception.
- Time for an interesting little skit....How To Throw A Party....with THE BERZERKER!? Mr. Fuji talks to the camera, and we of course can't understand him much. Fuji pronounces Party "Potty". Step one time. "The Invitations". Berzerker actually talks ENGLISH! To get guests, you simply kidnap them while screaming "Huss! Huss!" Time for the second step for throwing a party...The Entertainment. To have a fun party, you have to have party favors. Berzerker eats the blow whistles and blows them backwards. Time for the third step...The Food. Berzerks favorite foods are finger sandwiches. He smears Peanut Butter on bread with his hand and opens the bag with his sword. Berzerker chokes on a Huss. Wow...this was pretty stupid.
- "El Matador" Tito Santana vs. Repo Man:
Can Santana carry Barry Darsow to a good match? This reporter says No, but miracles have been known to happen. Taped from the same show as the previous match. We get a lockup and Repo Man with a cheap shot. Irish whip and Matador with a shoulder block, and Repo Man cowers in the corner. Lockup #2 and Repo Man with a series of rights in the corner and wrapping Santanas arm around the rope. Armbar by Repo Man and he turns it into a wristlock. Repo Man with a knee to the midsection. Criss Cross leads to Santana connecting with a series of arm drags and a dropkick followed by an armbar applied. Irish whip and Santana with a flurry of rights followed by a cross body press for two. Matador re-applies an armbar and Repo does a Curly impression. Irish whip and Santana school boys Repo Man for two. Repo sends Santana into the corner and connects with a back suplex for two. Irish whip to the corner and Repo Man connects with a clothesline for another two count. Repo Man does a sneaky little dance and pounds on Santana followed by a scoop slam. Repo Man connects with a leg drop for two again. Santana is sent face first into the turnbuckle and Repo Man chokes him across the top rope. Snapmare by Repo and he covers for two and applies a modified cross armbar body scissors. Santana breaks free and catches Repo with a sunset flip for two. Repo Man with a clothesline and Irish whip to the corner. Santana ducks a clothesline and nails one of his own. Santana pounds away on Repo with rights and connects with an elbow to the jaw. Running clothesline by El Matador followed by a dropkick to the top of the head. Santana callas for the end and nails the Paseo Del Muerte or whatever. Repo ands outside the ring to recover. Repo grabs his tow hook and rope and nails El Matador in the midsection with it, signalling for the DQ at 7:34. Repo Man chokes El Matador with the rope after the match and it takes a whole mess of officials to force him off. ** Shockingly, this was pretty decent by Repo Man standards, as he was not a good singles wrestler. But protecting him is kind of foolish. EW! El Matador is foaming at the mouth, but if this review was "X" rated i'd say something else, but who knows who's reading this.
- Eight-Man Tag Team Match:
The Natural Disastors & Legion Of Doom (w/ Paul Ellering) vs. The Nasty Boys & Money Inc. (w/ Jimmy Hart):
......NOT AGAIN WITH THE DISASTORS/NASTIES! Jesus, the first match with them blew chunks, now I'm subjecting to another of their matches. This is right before The Natural Disastors would win the World Tag Titles. Dibiase starts the match against....(waits)...Road Warrior Hawk. Lockup and Hawk shoves Dibiase into the corner. Repeast several times and Dibiase gets upset. Ted Dibiase with a wristlock, so Hawk simply throws him off into the corner. Dibiase with a knee to the midsection and rake of the eyes. Irish whip is reversed and Hawk with a series of clotheslines. Nasties run in, and Animal clears them with a double clothesline and the Natural Disastors pick up the left overs. Irwin with a wrist lock to Hawk, but it's reversed and Hawk with an armbar. Irish whip is reversed and Hawk with a back elbow followed by a big boot. Hawk with a headbutt and he boucnes off the ropes, being nailed with a Dibiase a knee and getting double teamed. Hawk takes a beating in the heel corner and so far has been the only legal man in the match for his team. Sags in with an elbow to the jaw of Hawk and he applies a reverse chinlock, driving the knee into Hawk's back in the process. Dibiase tags in with clubbing shots to the neck followed by a swinging neck breaker for two. Dibiase applies his own reverse chinlock but Hawk battles out with elbows, only to be put down with a knee lift. Irwin tags in and throws Hawk into his corner where the Nasties double team him. Hawk catches Irwin with a clothesline. Dibiase tags in and boots Hawk but a double clothesline puts both men down. Hawk FINALLY tags out at the 7:00 mark and Animal comes in with a dropkick to Sags followed by a clothesline to Knobbs, dropkick to Dibiase and clothesline to I.R.S. Earthquake comes in illegally and all hell breaks loose. Typhoon squashes Knobbs in the corner and Earthquake sqaushes Sags for a three count at 7:58. THE SAME DAMN FINISH AS BEFORE?!! Well that was lame. * Nothing match, at least the heels made it somewhat decent and kept the crap (Natural Disastors) out of the ring for 90% of the match.
- Back to Heenan & Gene and Heenan has been taking a beating all day. He tries jumping over the net, but pulls a me by landing on his crotch and halling down in pain. Some chicks recognize Gene Okerlund from WWF television, but ignore Bobby Heenan, who is still down on the ground. Gene hits on the girls while Heenan cries.
- Final Thoughts: The Okerlund and Heenan skits now and then throughout the tape pretty much saves it from a thumbs down. There are several decent-very good matches on the tape, but theres also a few bad matches. The good out-weighes the bad in my opinion, thanks to Heenan saving the tape with his comedy to block out the TERRIBLE Berzerker segment. Whoever thought of that should have been fired. Overall, a Mild Thumbs Up Recommendation.
!-------------------end guest column-----------------!
Don't bug me, email the columnist!
BACK to Rasslin index
