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WWF Compilation Tape Review: (June-July 1995)
From Our Pal, "OrangeGoblinFan".
!---------------------begin guest column-----------------!
- Time for the heart of the year, as it was getting worse and worse as the weeks went by until Vince McMahon grew a brain and decided to push the RIGHT people. I took a hiatus from taping wrestling for a week or two, so I missed a few of the bad King of the Ring qualifying matches, but theres still a few on here to wet your mouths. Build up to King of the Ring has already begun at the first In Your House PPV so everything is already set in stone basically.
- King Of The Ring Qualifying Match:
Doink The Clown (w/ Dink) vs. The Roadie (w/ Jeff Jarrett):
From Superstars with Vince & Michael Hayes on commentary. The Roadie had just recently made his IN RING Debut (hence In Ring because he's been around since December 1994) at In Your House in a pretty good handicap match versus Razor Ramon. The storyline of Roadie/Jarrett had just started to get in the works so it's time to put Roadie over the most popular superstar first...DOINK! (Joke on how WWE wanted Austin jobbing to Brock before Brock faught any credible guys leading to Austins walk out). Seeing people mark out for Doink makes me seriously sad. Roadie plays the coward of course and keeps his distance for a while. Doink with a go behind take down and he applies a half-nelson?! Roadie makes it to the ropes and talks strategy with Jarrett. Single leg takdown by Doink and he applies a twisting ankle lock and goes into a crossface of some kind. Roadie makes ropes again and talks with Double J. Doinks tights tear and he slams The Roadie a few times and rakes the eyes. Doink shakes it and jerks the neck of Roadie. Snapmare and Perfect overhead neck snap by Doink. Roadie grabs a standing side headlock. Doink catches him with an arm drag and applies his own headlock. Roadie hammers a bit on Doink but is caught with a sunset flip for two. Roadie to the second rope with an axehandle and he applies a headlock. Doink reverses with a back suplex and nails a knee lift. Doink with a slam and he nails an elbow drop. Doink goes to the top rope but Jarrett distracts him by chasing Dink, allowing Roadie to roll him up from behind for three at 5:04! Hayes calls it an upset. ** Match was actually pretty decent, considering good guy Doink matches sucked and Roadie was portraying a green rookie.
- King Of The Ring Qualifying Match:
Bob "Spark Plugg" Holly vs. Mantaur (w/ Jim Cornette):
Winner here faces The Roadie so you know the result already. I kind of jumbled around the matches here, as the above match was one the LAST Qualifyers, and this is the first after the In Your House PPV. Lockup and Mantaur throws Holly across the ring. Another lockup and Mantaur shoves Holly to the outside. Holly nails a series of dropkicks back in the ring but is out down with a shoulder block. Criss Cross leads to Holly getting caught in a huge slam. Mantaur with a powerslam and he covers for two. Mantaur chokes Holly across the second rope and nails a sit down splash. Cornette trash talks to Holly while Mantaur abuses him some more. Mantaur pounds Holly in the corner and McMahon has the BALLS to compare him to Andre The Giant. Mantaur with a side slam and the crowd dies. Mantaur with a delayed suplex for two. Mantaur pummels Holly MORE and splashes him into the corner. Holly avoids a second and rolls up fat boy for two. Mantaur with an irish whip but Holly nails a dropkick and clothesline. Holly with more clotheslines and he goes upstairs and connects with a missile dropkick and covers for two! Holly goes up again and nails a cross body press for three at 5:27! 1/4* Because I hate giving out DUDs to Bob Holly.
- SPECIAL MEMORABLE INTERVIEW! Vince McMahon brings out Bob Backlund, who has been out of action for a few months, only to find out Bob Backlund is....get this.....Running for President of the United States! A marching band comes out and plays some crap while Lawler puts on some Backlund buttons. Very cheesy, but major wrestlecrap. Sounds like a terrible Hail to the Chief or whatever.
- Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Irwin R. Shyster (w/ Ted Dibiase):
Mike Rotundo is close to the end of his WWF career here, so he's going to be jobbed out. How sad, because I always thought he was a decent wrestler and was good at getting reactions with the crowds. Too bad he got stuck with the stupid gimmick of an I.R.S worker. He toughed it out somehow for FOUR YEARS and was even a Tag Champ and almost Intercontinental Champion in that time. Bammer has some whacky gear on that shoots flames. Bigelow introduces Diesel to be in his corner to more than even the sides. I.R.S jumps Bigelow but is hammered with rights and caught with an atomic drop, sending him outside. Lockup and IRS hammers Bigelow a bit but runs into a shoulder block. Bigelow misses a headbutt, allowing Irwin to try a comeback, but he hides outside, only to have Diesel throw him back in the ring. Commercial break time. Bigelow nails a clothesline and the headbutt. Bigelow to the top rope and he misses the top rope headbutt. Irwin hammers Bigelow and nails a series of clotheslines and puts him down with the write off! Bigelow kicks out at TWO~! though so Irwin drops a few elbows for another two count. Irwin works the abdominal stretc and DOESN'T use the ropes?! Irwin whips Bigelow to the corner but misses a charge, and STILL continues beating him down. Irish whip and Irwin with a back elbow. Irwin undoes the turnbuckle and rams Bigelow face first into the steel and covers for two, as Diesel knocks Irwins foot off the second rope. Bigelow blocks another shot and rams I.R.S into the steel and drops a headbutt for three at 5:08. * Iffy match, but way too short for some reason. Apparently Bigelow has a leg injury.
- Video Package of Shawn Michaels from his WWF days, mainly as the Heartbreak Kid (1992-1995 to be exact). This is a way I guess to pimp his return NEXT Week versus King Kong Bundy, but I sadly don't have the match on tape anymore, so I'll just say Shawn Michaels won with the sweet chin music.
- King Of The Ring Qualifying Match:
Razor Ramon vs. Jacob Blu (w/ Dutch Mantell):
From superstars as well. Obvious winner again here, as you KNOW they never let one half of a tag team advance to the King of the Ring tournament. We're JIP a few moments into the match with Jacob hammering Ramon in the corner. Whip to the buckle and Jacob nails a big boot. Jacob with a boot to the head but a second misses and Ramon hammers away with rights and sends Jacob down with a discus punch. Irish whip and clothesline in the corner by Ramon and Jacob runs. Jacob wins a lockup and shoves Ramon over the top rope. Lockup and Blu shoves down Ramon again. Ramon works on the arm with shoulder blocks and jerks it a bit and applies a hammer lock. Blu catches Ramon with a clothesline and drops an elbow as we take a break. We're back and Blu nails a big slam for a delayed two count. Jacob puts Ramon in the tree of woe and stomps away at his helpless body. Irish whip and Ramon nails a cross body press for two! Jacob comes back with a clothesline for a two count of his own. Ramon is tossed to the outside where we expect some attack, but nope, no one does nothing. Ramon catches Jacob with a small package for two, and Jacob follows back with a splash for two again. Big boot by Jacob Blu and he nails a snapmare. We get hype for Duke Droese versus Kama next week, which I also don't have, so I'll say Kama wins with whatever submission he uses. Ramon fights back but Blu holds onto a headlock. Ramon comes back and nails a top rope bulldog headlock for two. Savio Vega comes out to attack Eli Blu. Ramon surprises Jacob from behind with a roll up and that gets three at 7:53. 1/2* I'm hating all the shock wins with roll ups lately.
- Razor Ramon & Savio Vega vs. The Blu Brothers:
I refuse to call Dutch Uncle whatever because I have NO IDEA how to spell it. We get highlights from last weeks Action Zone when Ramon & Jacob got into a brawl during a Savio Vega versus Eli Blu Match. This is from the Action Zone. Ramon & Savio clean house of the Blu's and Danny Davis is the referee. Ramon starts with lets say, Eli and works the arm. Eli throws him down and whips him to the ropes and nails a big boot. Big boot misses and Ramon hammers on the Blu twin and applies a drop toe hold into an armbar. Savio tags in and hammers on Blu and slams the mountain man and tries forcing oral on him. Eli is sent to the buckle and Ramon tags in again to pound the arm. Irish whip and they nail a double back elbow. Savio hammers Eli but is whipped into a Jacob clothesline. Eli puts the hurt on Savio with axehandle shots to the back of the neck. Blu throws Savio to the outside where Jacob nails him with a clothesline. Jacob tags in and they nail a double shoulder block for two. Jacob cheap shots Ramon and takes Savio to his corner where the Blus double team the Puerto Rican Ninja turned Legend. Eli with a side slam for two and he works in a headlock. Savio takes a beating in the corner of the opponents and Jacob puts a hurting on him. Savio tries fighting back but is choked down. Another attempt at a comeback and Savio nails some kicks to the mouth. Commercial Break time and we come back to Eli nailing a powerslam to Vega for two. Eli nails a big elbow drop and knee to the face for two. Savio is nailed with an avalanch in the corner by Jacob followed by a snap suplex. Savio ducks a clothesline and nails a double clothesline of his own to the Blues and Ramon gets the hot tag! He pummels bot Blu twins and a slam to Eli. Clothesline sends Jacob to the outside and Ramon sets Eli on the top rope and nails a BIG back suplex. Ramon calls for the end but Jacob nails a big boot to the side of the head and covers him for three at 9:46! 3/4* Man these Blu twins suck. Match sucked too and I Can't BELIEVE Ramon jobbed clean to them.
- King Of The Ring Report!!!
Diesel & Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Tatanka & Psycho Sid in the Main Event.
Bret Hart vs. Jerry "The King" Lawler in a Kiss My Foot Match.
King Of The Ring Tournament Matches:
The Undertaker vs. Mabel
Shawn Michaels vs. Kama
Bob "Spark Plugg" Holly vs. The Roadie
Razor Ramon vs. ??? (Winner of Bulldog/Owen)
- King Of The Ring Qualifying Match:
The British Bulldog vs. "King of Harts'' Owen Hart (w/ Jim Cornette):
This has a chance to be good. Lockup and Bulldog with an arm wringer. Owen does the flip and kip up reversal but Bulldog holds the lock on. Owen kips up again but again is thrown down. Owen back to his feet and does the reversal and follows through and pulls the hair to complete. Owen stomps the wrist of Davey Boy and applies a wrist lock. Owen does the Asai flip over but runs into a press slam by Buldog for two. Owen runs but is sling shot back in the ring and Bulldog applies an armbar. Shoulder block by Bulldog followed by an arm drag and he applies the armbar again. Owen fights free and applies a side headlock. Criss Cross and Bulldog with a monkey flip and a mahistral armlock. Owen takes it to the corner and nails some shoulder thrusts but misses a charge and posting himself. Bulldog with a delayed suplex and that only gets two. Bulldog with a reverse chin lock applied and that leads to a criss cross where Owen plants a knee in Bulldogs midsection. Owen stomps away at Bulldog and chokes him a little bit. Commercial break and Owen with a float over cover for two. Irish whip and Owen with a sleeper hold applied. Bulldog breaks it with a back suplex and both men are down. The announcers talk about the time limit so take that for what its worth. Irish whip and Bulldog with a sunset flip for two. Owen comes back with the enziguri for two of his own and is caught in a dropkick and sling shot into the buckle. Owen kisses the buckle ten times and Bulldog with a fisherman suplex for two. Bulldog applies the surfboard and he covers himself for two. He covers Owen for two afterwards. Owen whips Bulldog to the buckle but is caught in a Powerslam but Owen gets his foot on the ropes at two! Small package by Bulldog gets two again! Crucifix pin by Bulldog gets another two! Irish whip and Owen with an inside cradle. Reversed by Bulldog gets another two count. Owen goes for a piledriver but it's reversed and Owen turns it into a sunset flip for two! Back slide by Owen gets two as the bell is called for at 12:54 (Commercial Edit makes it 15:00) to declare a TIME LIMIT DRAW. ** picked up in the last few minutes but otherwise a very boring match.
- Video Package to highlight the upcoming Lex Luger vs. Yokozuna King of the Ring qualifying Match. They go back to 1993 when Yokozuna defeated Hulk Hogan for the World Title at the 1993 King Of The Ring. At the Body Slam Challenge on July 4th, 1993, Lex Luger turned face by slamming Yokozuna on the U.S.S Intrepid. At Summerslam 1993, Lex Luger defeated Yokozuna by count-out, but didn't win the title. He got his rematch at Wrestlemania X, but got screwed by Mr. Perfect who disqualified him for no real reasons. Since I don't have the match, Yokozuna defeated Lex Luger by Count-Out after leg dropping him outside the ring.
- Adam Bomb vs. Jean-Pierre Lafitte:
Very odd pairing indeed. Lafitte had recently returned after being a member of the Quebecers for the better part of the year. From The Action Zone. Lafitte attacks from behind with rights. Criss cross off the ropes and Pierre with a shoulderblock. Pierre poses on the second rope and Bomb dropkicks him off to the outside! Bomb connects with a plancha and hammers away at the evil Pirate. Back in the ring and Bomb with the slingshot clothesline and he calls for the end. Irish whip and Lafitte reverses and catches Bomb with a powerslam! Lafitte stomps on Bomb and comes off the second rope with a gullotine leg drop for two! Lafitte puts Bomb in the ropes a la Andre The Giant and nails a series of avalanches, and throwing him to the outside of the ring. Pierre goes to the top rope and comes off with a flying axehandle!! Back in the ring they go and Pierre connects with an elbow drop for two. Reverse chinlock applied by Lafitte. Bomb fights out with elbows and bounces off the ropes with a cross body press for two. Lafitte catches Bomb with a back suplex for two of his own and we go to a break. We're back and Bomb hammers away at Lafitte with roundhouse rights. Irish whip and Bomb with a hip toss and a series of clotheslines. Bomb with mounted punches in the corner, a total of ten, and he whips Lafitte across the ring. Lafitte catches Bomb with a big boot, but is crotched across the top turnbuckle and Bomb nails a float-over super-plex for two! Lafitte tosses Bomb to the outside by use of the tights and Bomb catches him coming off the top rope with a blow to the midsection. Lafitte rams Bomb into the steel steps and breaks the referees count. Bomb reverses a whip and sends Lafitte into the steps now, and both men are counted out at 7:12. **1/4 Overall a decent match, but the double CO sucks. Lafitte attacks Bomb after the bell with a clothesline and beats him down a bit before throwing him out of the ring. Lafitte goes to attack him again but Bomb back drops him on the concrete floor and poses in the ring.
- The Head Shrinkers (w/ Afa & Lou Albano) vs. Psycho Sid & Tatanka (w/ Ted Dibiase):
The Monday Night Raw the week before King of the Ring, so its time to pimp the evil heel tag team for the PPV's main event. Tatanka & Fatu start, with Fatu no selling blows to the head. Fatu hammers away at Tatanka and nails a headbutt and does the mounted punches in the corner. Irish whip and Tatanka catches Fatu with a clothesline. Tatanka with no-sound chops and a series of kicks to the midsection. Fatu is sent to the outside, but he heads back inside, and no sells a chop to the head. Fatu no-sells a dropkick now and does a little dancing before nailing a superkick to the NOSE. Sid tags in now and Fatu moonwalks into his corner to tag Sieone. Double noggin-knocker is no sold and a double headbutt by the shrinkers. Fatu and Sieone trade shots on him until Sid nails Fatu with the super clothesline. One handed chokeslam to Fatu by Sid and he nails a leg drop for two. Back from commercial and Tatanka stomps away at Fatu. Tatanka with a scoop slam and jumping elbow drop for two. Tatanka cheap shots the former Barbarian and he and Sid do a double shalacking on Fatu. Sid chokes Fatu with his foot a few times and nails the Samoan with a big boot. Sid comes out of the corner and misses an atomic leg drop. Tatanka tags in and cuts Fatu off from tagging out. Slam by Tatanka but the elbow drop misses this time. Sieone tags in finally and hammers away at Tatanka and nails him with a powerslam for two. Irish whip and Sieone stuns Tatanka across the second rope and nails a sit down splash across the back for two again. Sieone connects with a piledriver but Sid breaks the pin by yanking Sieones hair. Tatanka is sent to the outside and Sieone boots Sid. Sid clotheslines Sieone to the outside and now Fatu hammers Sid until Sid nails him with the Powerbomb! Sid attacks Sieone outside the ring and Sid powerbombs him on the arena floor!!! They roll Sieone back in and Tatanka easily covers him for three at 8:56. * Fun match at times, but barely passable when judging the in-ring work.
- Shawn Michaels vs. Gus Kantarrakis:
Dear Jobber: Welcome to Squashville. Population: You. This is the first match I HAVE taped of Shawn Michaels post face turn (I taped over his KOTR Qualifying Match versus Bundy) so thats my excuse for a jobber match. Shawn with a side headlock into a go-behind and back to the headlock. Shoulder block by Michaels and he does a little spanking. Michaels skips around the ring with the jobber chasing him and Michaels sits in the crowd while being mugged by fans. Michaels nails the jobber with a shot to the midsection but is caught coming off the top rope and the jobber hammers away at HBK Michaels takes an amatuer beating but starts no-selling and nails a kick to the mouth and throws G.K to the outside. Michaels fakes out a plancha attemt and nails the jobber with a snap suplex on the outside. Michaels nails sweet chin music and the jobber is knocked out. Michaels throws him back in the ring and Michaels nails sweet chin music a second time for the easy win at 4:16. 1/4* he gave the jobber offense, but won convincingly. Kama tries an ambush but Michaels catches him with a series of rights, sending him to the outside. The Undertaker and Mabel make cameo appearences, teasing certain match-ups for one part of the bracket at King of the Ring.
- King Of The Ring Qualifying Match:
Savio Vega vs. Irwin R. Shyster (w/ Ted Dibiase):
This is pretty much last minute as Ramon had been "injured" (a.k.a punished for some drug or alcohol use) so they needed to find a replacement, ASAP! Rotundo is basically out of WWF in about a week from here, so it's no doubt who's losing. Just so everyone can feel the pain of how BAD the PPV was, I'm making a rare inclusion of said PPV in semi-full review mode. This is literally twelve minutes before the PPV was set to begin, so expect a quick match. I.R.S hammers away at Vega and Savio with a surprise small package for two. Sunset flip by Savio gets two again. Irwin with a whip to the corner but he misses a charge and Savio school boys him for two. Headlock takeover by Savio and he avoids a series of pin attempts. Irish whip and Savio with a shoulder block and hip toss. Savio with a dropkick for two and he applies the headlock again. We for some unknown reason watch the damn SAT while Irwin somehow throws Savio to the outside. Irwin sends Savio back in the ring and slams him. I.R.S heads to the top rope and eats boot on the way down. Savio hammers away at I.R.S with rights and nails a back elbow. Snap suplex by Savio gets two. Irish whip, and I.R.S bails, so Savio sends him back in the ring and nail the spinning heel kick for three at 4:01 to advance to the tournament, which continues in eight minutes. * Passable match, but was of course a rush job.
- King Of The Ring Quarter-Finals Match:
Savio Vega (w/ Razor Ramon) vs. Yokozuna (w/ Jim Cornette & Mr. Fuji):
Talk about demotions, Yokozuna a year ago was world champion, now he's opening the card. Yoko acts like a prick and waves the Japanese flag and Savio plays with his Puerto Rico/USA flag. If Savio won tonight I would have been cool with it. Savio grabs a headlock but a Yoko shoulder block puts him down hard. Lockup and Yoko with a back elbow to the face of Vega, elbow drop misses and Vega pounds him. Wrist lock by Vega and he slams Yoko's head into the turnbuckle 10 times, but a spinning heel kick misses badly. Yoko plants Vega in the corner and hammers him as we get a shot of Owen on the superstar line. Savio rolls out of the banzai drop while Yoko climbs the ropes and gets nailed some more. Yoko uses the top rope to choke Vega and snapmares him, and locking on the NERVE PINCH OF DEATH! Savio plants some elbows in Yoko's girth, but he gets sent flying US Express to the floor. Savio in the ring and he gets in some roundhouse rights staggering Yokozuna, but that's cut short and he gets choked in the corner. Slam by Yoko but misses a leg drop. USA Chants. why? We got 2 APPARENT Spanish men and two Japanese guys out their. So I guess its for Cornette. Savio up and he nails Yoko with a series of clotheslines, and finally puts him down with the heel kick. He knocks Cornette off the apron and Owen attacks Ramon from behind. Savio goes out to help him, as does Yokozuna, but he gets leveled into the ring post and is counted out at 8:25, declaring Savio Vega the winner. 1/2*. Let me get some Tylenol.
- King Of The Ring Quarter-Finals Match:
Bob "Spark Plugg" Holly vs. The Roadie (w/ Jeff Jarrett):
Well... I guess this could be decent. Doc calls this a dark horse match. Holly with a shoulder block gets two, and repeat that again. Sunset Flip by Holly gets another two. Inside Cradle gets two. Holly with five two count's in 30 seconds (I missed the first one). Lockup and Roadie with a slap and a few sucker punches. Boot to the kidneys and forearm to the back by the Roadie. Both men with a criss cross and Holly with a shoulder block and hip toss. Scoop Slam by holly gets two. Bob goes for a hurricanrana but gets powerbombed in retaliation. Stiff Irish whip by Roadie on Holly into the buckle. Roadie dances and plants a series of elbows on the back of Bob Holly followed by a snapmare and rear chinlock. Holly breaks the gold and school boys Roadie for two, but gets caught with a clothesline getting up. Roadie dances more and drops an elbow for two. Roadie back to working the chinlock, but Holly again breaks out, and backdrops Roadie out of a piledriver position. Holly with a tilt-a-whirl head scissors(!) and a sweet drop-kick and a series of rights for two. Powerslam by Holly gets two. Roadie with a knee to the midsection and sets Holly on the top rope. Holly knocks him off and gets nailed with a boot to the face for 3!?! At 7:31. Holly's shoulder clearly got up at two, unless he pulled a Paul Roma from Superbrawl V. **, if not for the screwy finish, could have been more. The Paul Roma incident, anyway, was when he decided to be an unprofessional dick in a match versus Alex Wright, trying to make himself look good at the new comers expense. Rightly so, Roma was fired that same night.
- King Of The Ring Quarter-Finals Match:
Shawn Michaels vs. Kama; The Supreme Fighting Machine (w/ Ted Dibiase):
Fifteen Minutes of this garbage?! All clues point to Shawn winning this. Shawn with a headbutt and armbar, which is reversed, and reversed again followed by a few jabs. HBK with a few jabs now and then in between nothing. Shawn with a headlock and Kama tries to power out. HBK holds onto the ropes after being tossed and Kama gets dumped out instead. Shawn back to the armbar and he jerks the arm a bit. Kama with an Irish Whip and nails a kick to the midsection and clotheslines Shawn out to the floor. Kama scoops him up and rams his back into the ring post for good measure. Kama puts the boots to him back in the ring a bit. Smoking Joe is at ringside tonight, poor Joe. Kama works in some punches and that's about it. More kicking by the Supreme Fighting Machine, followed by some sort of leglock. Kama sets Shawn on the top rope and repeatedly nails him in the midsection some more. Modified backbreaker by Kama, Shawn reverses it for two. He works the flair flip all the way to the floor. Dibiase puts the boots to him now. Shawn back in and more kicking by Kama. Boy, no wonder he wasn't over until 1998. Series of backbreakers follow. Shawn dodges a charge and nails a diving elbow off the second rope putting them both down. Kama misses an elbow and the three minute countdown starts. Shawn with some jabs and a flying clothesline. Stomp to the face and some mounted punches by HBK and he's hulked up. He goes to the top rope and comes down with a double axhandle for two. Ten punches of doom by HBK and a cross body press is reversed by Kama for 2. Knee to the sternum, but Shawn with a small package for two. Sunset Flip gets 1....2 time limit expires! BOOOO! at 15:04. *. Just craptacular.
- King Of The Ring Quarter-Finals Match:
The Undertaker (w/ Paul Bearer) vs. Mabel (w/ Mo):
So far the tourney is looking like hell with Savio & Roadie winning, and HBK being eliminated. The druids look freaky. Taker starts off with some thrusts to Mabel followed by an Irish whip to the buckle and a diving clothesline. Taker with another clothesline sends Mabel down. Old School Undertaker off the top rope. Taker with a face choke in the corner. Mabel catches Taker off the ropes with a belly to belly suplex and clothesline him to the floor. Taker stuns him across the top rope but gets knocked through the ropes and is tied up. Mabel continues to kick at Taker for a while. Taker tries fighting back and does so until Mabel connects with ANOTHER belly to belly suplex, followed by a camel clutch.....kinda. He is siting on Taker. Mabel tosses Taker to the floor and clotheslines him into the steel post. Back in and he stands on him for gods sake. Mabel with a suplex gets two. Scoop slam and he sits on Taker for another two count. Mabel goes for the avalanche and eats boot and a clothesline. Mabel plants Taker with a piledriver for only two again. Irish whip and both men collide heads. Mabel elbow misses and Taker boots and thrusts him some more and nails a running clothesline in the corner and another a choke. Ref bump and Mabel eats a jumping clothesline. Chokeslam follows and no one there to count, Here comes Kama and he kicks Taker in the FREAKING SHOULDER followed by a Mabel leg drop for ......three!?!?!?!?! Match ends at 10:46 as I shoot my face off. Taker sits up and gives Kama chase. -** For an AWFUL Mach.
- King Of The Ring Semi-Finals Match:
Savio Vega (w/ Razor Ramon) vs. The Roadie (w/ Jeff Jarrett):
Please God stop the pain!!!!! Of course, it will end up Savio Vega vs. Mabel, so lets get the pain over with fast. Roadie calls himself The Road Dog in an interview during Savio's entrance. At least theirs history here. Savio has an S & V shaved on the back of his head. Savio hammers on Roadie and hip tosses him followed by a clothesline to the floor. Armbar by Savio and he pounds on Roadie's shoulder. Knife-edge chops in the corner and back to an armbar. Step over takedown by Savio gets two. Roadie with a knee to the sternum and a shake rattle and roll neckbreaker for two. Roadie uses his knee to choke Savio in the corner and uses the ropes to do the same. Roadie continues to beat on Vega. Snapmare and second rope headbutt gets two. Knee drop to the back of the head and kidney area by the D-O Double G. Savio is hulking up and no sells Roadies offense. Chop city! Savio is back down and Roadie steps on him. Second rope elbow misses and no one is making a noise. Savio hammers him and connects with a back elbow and a scoop slam for two. Big Boot!!! For two. Where's the leg drop? Jarrett grabs Vega's foot and Roadie is Irish whipped into Double J and Savio school boys him for three at 6:37. * Well, this PPV sucks. What? three more matches?! DAAAH! Doc gives a hilarious translation of Savio after the match, stating Savio will stop stealing hubcaps, and he has no chance of beating Mabel for the title of king.
- Recap of the Jerry Lawler/Bret Hart feud, dating back to KOTR 1993, where he attacked Bret after winning the tournament. Then he stooped to insulting his parents, and ducking out of their match at Summerslam 1993. At In Your House, Jerry Lawler won their match, with a little help from Sinja & Hakushi. Bret then showed up on RAW intimidating Lawler into a match at KOTR......in a kiss my foot match. Lawler would not wash his feet for month, and showed us how disgusting his foot was when he forced Aldo Montoya to kiss them. I thought when Lawler forced him to drink liquor was bad.
- Kiss My Foot Match:
Bret "Hitman" Hart vs. Jerry "the King" Lawler:
Well, maybe Bret can do a miracle and drag this baby out of the toilet. Lockup and Bret unloads a series of rights on Lawler followed by headbutt. Bret on the outside sends Lawler into the guard rail and rake his eyes across the top rope. Lawler reverses an Irish whip and he sends Bret into the steel steps. Lawler with some meager offense I don't care to discuss. Lawler back in with a piledriver, and a second one follows. The third one connects also and Bret kicks out at two with authority. Bret eats buckle and Burger King chants come up. Bret boots Lawler and nails a few roundhouse rights, but Lawler stops him with an eye rake and throws him to the floor. Lawler DE-boots himself and clobbers Bret with his boot for two. Bret gets choked in the corner and Lawler takes the boot off again. Bret blocks the foot and leg sweeps hi followed by a headbutt the GROIN. Bret with a series of elbows but Lawler uses his boot again as a weapon. Lawler to the second rope with a fist drop for two. Lawler gets posted after trying to wrap Bret's legs on the post. Hakushi is back! Hakushi with a thrust hits Lawler and Bret rolls Lawler back in. Russian Legsweep by the Hitman followed by a backbreaker and the second rope elbow drop Sharpshooter later and Bret wins it at 9:20. *1/2. Yup, even Bret can have a bad match. Bret refuses to release the sharpshooter, but does so soon after. Hakushi tries saving Lawler again but gets nailed, and Lawler is forced to not just kiss Bret's foot, but his own as well. UGH!
- King Of The Ring Finals Match:
Savio Vega (w/ Razor Ramon) vs. Mabel (w/ Mo):
Pass me some Vodka ASAP. I grow tired of this. Lockup, Savio gets shoved to the corner. Savio hammer son Mabel in the corner and the crowd is DEAD! Ten punches of doom by Vega gets barely anyone counting. Savio continues to punch Mabel. Mabel with an eye rake and slam followed by an elbow drop, which misses and Savio clotheslines Mabel to the floor over the top rope!!! Mabel pulls him to the outside, but eats stairs. Mabel fights him off and sends him to the stairs. Mabel chokes him some more on the top rope. Bearhug by Mabel stalls time. Savio with a spinning heel kick and school boy both get two counts. Mabel catches him and slams him for two. Big Splash!!! Its over at 8:31 and Mabel is the fucking King. 1/2*. Razor, Savio & 1-2-3 Kid all get an ass whooping by Mabel & Mo.
- Diesel & Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Psycho Sid & Tatanka (w/ Ted Dibiase):
Finally, the last match. Bam Bam is dressed funkier then Steamboat did in 1991. Diesel hammers on Sid and the heels regroup on the outside. Diesel starts with Tatanka. Diesel with an armbar and Tatanka reverses, and he pays for it. Sid with a kick to Diesel and works his elbow on the ring post behind the referee's back. Tatanka with a series of chops to the injured elbow. Tatanka with an armbar now and e wraps it around the rope as he and Sid pound it. Sid works on the elbow some more and I fall asleep. Sid with a powerslam and Sid hammers the elbow AGAIN. diesel with the hot tag and Bigelow works both men. Drop-kick to Tatanka sends him packing and a DDT to Sid, he goes up top and nails the headbutt for a two count way too late. Bam Bam is too worried bout Dibiase and pays for it. Sid with a chokeslam off the second rope on Bigelow and Tatanka tags in for the pin for two. He chops and boots Bigelow for a while. Sid back in and a running boot to the ribcage. Followed by a boot to the kisser and stomps to the chest. Sid & Tatanka work over Bigelow on the floor. God this is boring. Rear chinlock by Sid, driving the knee into Bam Bam's back. Diesel makes the tag but the re doesn't see it and he works over Sid. Oh the ref did see it. slam on Sid and a running elbow connects, but he hurt himself the moron. Tatanka back in and so is Bam Bam. Cross Body by Tatanka gets two. Sleeper Hold kills MORE time for this shit. Tatanka with a super DDT on Bigelow gets two. Bigelow no sells Tatanka and both men clothesline each other. Tatanka up and puts on a sleeper, but Bigelow with a rolling thunder!!!! Well, minus the first roll, but hell, he did it! Diesel tags in and side walk slams Tatanka to hell. running big boot by Diesel and Tatanka's out cold. Diesel with the jackknife powerbomb for two, but he lifts him off the mat. he wants Sid, but Sid walks away abandoning Tatanka, as Diesel elbow drops him for the win at 17:36. *. God this PPV couldn't get any worse. Wait, it's over, Thank God!
- Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Psycho Sid (w/ Ted Dibiase):
Thank God I don't have to watch KOTR 1995 anymore. In the entrance Henry Godwinn gets in a confrontation with Bigelow, resulting in a brawl which needs to be broken up by officials. We get a little stalling before a lockup that ends up in the corner for a clean break. Sid takes Bigelow to the corner and nails a cheap shot. Sid with a standing side headlock and shoulder block. Shoulder tackle by Bigelow puts Sid down and Bigelow nails a series of roundhouse rights. Whip to the buckle is reversed but Sid misses a charge, alloing Bigelow to nail a DDT. Bigelow goes to the top but Dibiase stops him, which means Bigelow chases and Sid sneaks up from behind with a clothesline and a running boot to the midsection. Sid with boots to the midsection of Bigelow and he hammers the back of the neck. Sid with another boot to the head but Bigelow blocks another, only to miss an ezniguri and walk into a big boot. Commercial time and we come back to Sid having Bigelow locked in a modified camel clutch. Bigelow gets up with Sid on his shoulders and drops him back down HARD. Bigelow hammers away at Sid and whips him to the buckle, but he runs into another boot. Sid with a pathetic chokeslam (considering the size of Bigelow) and calls for the end! Bigelow back drops Sid and nails a headbutt to take over. Bigelow goes to the top rope, but Godwinn shoves him off onot his face and Sid covers for three at 5:38. 3/4* Almost as good as the KOTR main event, and only 33% of the time. Sid powerbombs Bigelow after the match to add insult to injury.
- The Smoking Gunns vs. Men On A Mission:
From Superstars of Wrestling. M.O.M of course turned heel a few months back, and Mabel had won the KOTR Tournament several weeks back, dubbing himself King Mabel, and Mo now is Sir Mo. Mabel actually brought his SWORD to the ring. Billy Gunn and KING Mabel start the match, and Gunn grabsa headlock. Mabel shoves him off and poses to boos. Lockup part two and Mabel misses a corner charge. Billy stomps away at the shins of Mabel, but walks into a scoop slam. Mabel off the ropes and he misses an elbow drop. Billy with a series of dropkicks but Mabel shrugs off a third and tags Mo in. Mo hammers away at Billy with forearms to the back of the neck. Gunn with a small package for two and he nails a hip toss and arm drag take down into an armbar. Bart finally tags in and works the arm. Mo with a knee to the midsection and a series of rights. Irish whip and Mo with a back elbow and he misses an elbow drop. Bart whips him and nails a back body drop followed by an arm drag and armbar. Irish whip and a double Russian leg sweep by the Smoking Gunns for two. Billy applies an armbar again and Bart comes in with an axehandle. Bart again with an armbar and Mo rakes the eyes. Mabel tags back in and nails a shoulder block. Commercial time and bart comes back with dropkicks. Whip to the corner is reversed and Mabel with a sidewalk slam. Mabel chokes Bart on the second rope and throws him to the outside. Mabel with a northern lights suplex! and he covers with one hand for two. Mo tags back in and attempts a suplex, but Bart blocks and nails his own. Bart takes a little ebating from Mabel, but avoids a sit down splash, and Billy tags in. Billy hammers away at Mabel and nails a series of clotheslines and dropkick. Billy to the top rope and he nails a cross body press. Mo comes in and Billy nails a dropkick. Double bulldog to Mabel by the Gunns for two. Billy hammers away at Mo and Mabel splashes him in the corner and nailing a belly-to-belly suplex for three at 7:40. DUD Pretty boring match. Even the taped crowd is dead. We find out Jack Tunney is no longer WWF President. How sad.
- Vignette from the Dentist's office with Jerry "The King" Lawler. He's visiting his private dentist, Dr. Issac Yankem D.D.S. Lawler makes threats at Bret Hart, and a D-Level child actor says Lawler has bad breath in the most unconvincing voice. Lawler gets graphic about his dentist, and out he comes....with REALLY BAD TEETH!
- Highlights from the Action Zone a week or so before In Your House 2. The match was Bodydonna Skip versus preliminary "superstar" Barry Horowitz in a talent enhancement match, a routine match for the WWF back in the day. But something....shocking happened. While Skip was showing off by doing push-ups, Horowitz surprised him with a modified small package, picking up his "First WWF win" in his career, dating back to 1988. Horowitz celebrates like he's World Champion, and Skip & Sunny have fits in the ring.
- The Allied Powers vs. Tatanka & Henry O. Godwinn (w/ Ted Dibiase):
God, this match is going to suck and blow. Heels attack before the bell but a series of clotheslines make the comeback. Tatanka catches Luger with a DDT and he stomps away at him. Tatanka with a foot choke and a chop in the corner. Luger fights back but has the eyes raked allowing Tatanka to have more free shots. Luger tastes Godwinns boot and HOG hammers away at Luger and nails a slam. Godwinn drops an elbow for two. Double teaming time and they nail a back elbow allowing Tatanka to cover for two. Tatanka cheap shots Bulldog, and more heel beatdowns. Commercial time and Tatanka with a headlock on Luger. Luger fights free with roundhouse rights but is kicked in the head. Godwinn tags back in and they nail Luger with a double clothesline for two. Irish whip and Godwinn with a back elbow for two. Modified chinlock by Godwinn and he slams Made in the USA, and misses an elbow drop. Tatanka and Bulldog both tag in, so Bulldog beats the shit out of the Indian. Whip to the corner and Bulldog catches him in a slam position, but Tatanka falls on top for two. Irish Whip and Bulldog with the delay vertical suplex for two. Bulldog dropkicks Godwinn to the outside but is tripped up by Hogman. Tatanka with a scoop slam and he heads upstairs, only to summon the spirit of Ric Flair and be powerslammed off for three at 5:49. -* Yep, that bad. Words cannot describe how boring this was, feeling like a thirty minute match.
- Second vignette of Issac Yankem D.D.S. Lawler keeps making threats at Bret while Yankem is drilling some womens teeth, chuckling evily everytime he goes back to work. Lawler asks who her favorite wrestlers are, in the MOST RETARDED VOICE EVER SINCE THE EIGHT YEAR OLD, she says Diesel, Shawn Michaels....and Bret Hart. BOO! He's not a KLIQ Member! time to make sure Bret doesn't see a main event for a few more months. Yankem with some heavy drilling because he's pissed off and his teeth are still disgusting.
Final Thoughts: Probably the worst tape I have seen in a LONG time, as the best match...is a generous rating for a Nuclear Explosion acident survivor and a nutcase who thinks it's the 17th century and acting like a Pirate. Thankfully though, the worst is done with, but 1995 is only HALF done, so there is plenty of more crap to follow. (Sobs)
!-------------------end guest column-----------------!
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