SPORTS-(PIRATES)
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May 2, 2004
"They're still shitty"...checking in on the home team.
We're roughly a month into the season now, and that means
I'm paying more for daily parking rates. One parking lot seprates my office from
Coors Field. In the off-season I have to pay the daily rate of 5.00 to
park, but with the Rockies open for business, I often arrive with "baseball rates"
programmed into the lot's ticket machine. Last year, the going rate was an
astronimcal 20 bucks... but it's dropped to 12 now. I'm sure the Rockies
will send out their parking gnomes and raise lot rates for what they deem "premium" games-
games they believe are more attractive and have slapped higher ticket prices on.
Just kinda' sucks having to pay gameday parking when I'm not even going to the game.
But I have managed to hit a few games at Coors Field already. I went to see the Dodgers play
about two weeks ago, along with Roger Clemens' start on April 24. Last Tuesday, I
went to the Marlins-Rockies game... which was actually one of the most entertaining
games I've ever seen.
Typically, Rockies games are ridiculous. They get the lead-off runner on, then fail to advance him
or score any runs. Tuesday's Rockies-Marlins
game was different as the Rockies actually got a few clutch hits.
Including one a 2-out, 2 RBI hit from Royce Clayton. In the bottom of the eighth,
Marlins manager Jack McKeon decided to walk Todd Helton and pitch to Vinny Castilla. Castilla
then knocked his own 2-out, 2 RBI double to win the game. Vinny was
honored as the "Shane Company Player of the Game" ..so I guess he can
run out and get a few cubic zirconians or something ("just one-half mile east of
Arapahoe Road on Empoia Street"). The game a flashback to the 1995-1997 era,
when Rockies games entertained. The best part of it was that Larry Walker was nowhere to be
found and an unknown 25 year old rookie named Matt Holliday filled in nicely. Now if they
can just appeal and get Walker's ass off the All-Star ballot.
Jeromy Burnitz had two homers in the Marlins game and might be a great fit for Denver.
He's always been one of those feast or famine hitters, but he's launched some amazing
howitzer shots already. Against the Dodgers, he absolutely blistered a pitch to
the third deck in left field...about ten rows from the top of the stadium. He'll probably
be gone within two years, but he'll provide some fun moments until then.
For what it's worth, at the Marlins game, the Old Man and I caught two homeruns balls.
One from Burrnitz and one from Holliday. I have no real excitement over
a homerun ball, so I filled out a contact form and gave it to ushers,
asking Holliday if he wants the ball... if he does, he'll be the Official Colorado
Rockie of eStragand.com (The Old Man wants to keep his Burnitz ball, though).
By the way, the last time we had an Official Colorado Rockie of eStragand, it was
Chuck McElroy in 1999.
The Rockies offense may be chugging along at home, but their pitching is still in shambles.
That's why, after minutes of research and study, I've come up with a new revolutionary idea
to solve all their pitching woes. The ONE-MAN ROTATION. Screw this five-man set crap. In their
11 seasons, the Rockies have never been able to go through the rotation without
having at least one starter get torched. So why not start the same pitcher, every game?!
He'll be like your quarterback. Don't worry about his pitch count or wearing the guy out.
This is the Rockies were talking about... the guy would only one last inning. The former #2 starter
pitches the second, former #3 the third, and so on. That way, the Rockies would
get five quality innings every night and not have to worry about overpitching their starters.
This will keep chodes like Scott Elarton from going on the disabled list every other month.
Plus, guys wont have to worry about missing their turn in the rotation due to inclement weather.
Then, innings 6-9 are the responsibilty of the bullpen. That's, what, 6 more guys
to get 3 innings?!
If one guy feels frisky, you could stretch him out for two or three innings. But more than
three and you're pushing it.
This way, Joe Kennedy or Shawn Estes could grab the MLB record for "games started".
Ridiculous, but just remember that its Colorado we're talking about. One team, one starter.
See, it even has a catchy promotional phrase!
NEW for this year, I've started a "Left Fielders of 2004 Scrapbook". My seats are right over the
left field wall in the handicapped section (no jokes..that's too easy!), so
I get a great view of the field. This week, especially for you, I have the following (click
to view):
Left Field- Dave Roberts
Left Field- Matt Holliday
Left Field- Rene Reyes
Hey neato,the FOUL POLE VIEW!
yeah, yeah...I have a digital camera and too much time. Pretty stupid, but I plan to
take pictures of all the left fielders I get to see. As soon as I get a few more,
I'll move this crap to its own page. So stick around. It'll be dumb.
Along those lines: my autograph scorecard for the past two weeks reads:
Dodgers: Tommy LaSorda (!), Hideo Nomo, Jose Lima (!)
Astros: Mike Gallo, Brad Lidge, Dan Miceli, Brandon Duckworth, Chad Harville
Marlins: Juan Pierre, Mike Mordecai
Oh yes... Larry Walker. You may have missed it, but Walker recently found a dead body on
his property up in Evergreen (Evergreen's the first mountain town over from Denver).
Anyways, despite the fact that the Rockies were playing a GAME in St. Louis, Larry Walker,
the supposed cornerstone of the franchise was not traveling with the team. He was at home.
Rehabbing. By driving around in an ATV. I'm sure the "rehab" also included Playstation,
eating pizza and watching Cinemax.
It gets better. Walker, then held a press conference about the dead body. A dingle dork
reporter asked "okay, Larry...did you do it?" Pretty stupid, and I'm sure
it was either Jim Armstrong of the Denver Post or Lionel Bienvenue of KMGH- channel
7. Both are complete dumbfucks who think they're cerebral comedians, but that's beside
the point. Walker responded with "anyone who think I did it can go screw themsevles!"
Pure class, thy name is Lawrence Walker.
...||...No nifty Bucs news this time. I am subscribing to the MLB Extra Innings again, and
it's been great. The Cubs were demolishing the bucs 12-0 in the 9th. The Pirates scored
one run in the bottom of the ninth with one out. Pirates color man Bob Walk then deadpanned:
"well, looks like nobody's up in the Pirates bullpen yet". Also, I still think its
funny to see Cincinnati broadcasts, and all the commercials dealing with that
city's chili obsession!
...||...Finally, it's strange how managers are bitching about little stuff this week.
The Phillies complained about a substance on Cardinals pitcher Julian Tavarez's hat (an
annual occurence for Tavarez). To counter, the Cardinals then demanded that
Phillies' slugger Pat Burrell's bat be x-rayed for cork. Then, the Mets argued about
the double-tap delivery of Padres' setup man Akinori Otsuka. Next week, I expect someone to start
bitching about a pitcher's facial hair. Weird.
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