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Willie Stargell : an Autobiography
December 20- Biographies and autobiographies have never appealed to me. This declaration probably extends from a third grade book report, when I trudged through 134 pages of a Robert Goddard biography. It was so captivating that it took me almost three months to read those 134 pages. Only thing I got out of the experience was a cardboard shoebox diorama of a rocket launch, which I made for the actual book report. I was scarred for life and added Rule 13.4.5 of the eStragand Code of Academics: Never Read a Frickin Biography.
Despite my almost religious fascination with football and baseball, I was never compelled to pick up any athlete's book. I read the first few pages of Conrad Dobler's "They Call Me Dirty" while taking a dump in eighth grade, but that was it. I always felt that athletic biographies, and specifically autobiographies were full of embellishment and self-fulfillment on the author's part. Why would I want to read an athlete's story when I've already seen his most important moments on TV? Just another chance for an old man to brag about his accomplishments.
Before a train ride to California in 2000, I picked up professional wrestler Mick Foley's "Have a Nice Day" autobiography on a whim. While not exactly an athletic bio, the book made me chuckle a few times and started to whittle away at my biography stigma. About a year later, I picked up Terry Bradshaw's "It's Only a Game" and thoroughly enjoyed it. I assumed Bradshaw's story would be filled with tireless accounts of all the gritty Steelers NFL playoff games of the 70's. After all, who would know more about the Steeler dynasty than their quarterback? I was pleasantly surprised that Bradshaw spent very little time detailing all his stats, wins and Super Bowl victories. He spent more time talking about his hysterical off-field adventures. Maybe autobiographies aren't so bad after all?
Thus, I decided to pick up the auotbiography of another Pittsburgh sports hero- Willie Stargell of the Pittsburgh Pirates.
Mistake.
Stargell's story brought back all the "old athlete brags about self" assumptions. I'm not knocking Stargell's accomplishments- he was a Hall of Famer and definitely deserved the statue in front of PNC Park. I truly felt sorrow when I learned he had died on baseball's Opening Day in 2001. People would always light up when asked about Willie. Even to this day, you can't help but NOT smile when someone mentions the "We Are Family 1979 Pirates" Baseball fans still marvel at the various tape measure home runs he hit across the country. Even today, whenever a player hits an upper deck shot it can always be suffixed with the phrase: "he's the first one to do it since Willie Stargell in 19XX". Stargell was probably the last true captain of Pittsburgh's baseball club. But the man could not write.
Wilver Stargell begins his story by writing about his heritage. I'd never known that he was part Seminole Indian. He goes into detail about the history of the Seminoles during the 19th century. Very little of this has any relevance to Stargell, however. It's like he opened up a high school history text and decided to play Cliff Clavin.
Stargell details his younger years, how he lived all over the country with various relatives. It's tough to piece together the Stargell family tree, with countless aunts, uncles and fathers coming into Willie's life. Most significant is his five year stay in Orlando with his Aunt Lucy. Lucy deceived Stargell's mother and kept the two separated so Willie could be her personal servant. The ruse was eventually discovered and Willie returned to the West Coast to be with his mother and new step-father. He remained there for the rest of his school days- living in the Alameda projects of Oakland and sleeping on a fold-out bed in the living room for years. Surprisingly, Stargell speaks highly of this period in his life. You'd think a little kid would be upset at being separated from his mom and being bounced all over the place. But Stargell bears no ill will towards any relative and truly seems to have loved all of it. He was overjoyed at living in the projects, having countless friends and constantly playing baseball.
The author then reaches his high school days and the book begins to seep downhill. Stargell talks about his "legendary" homeruns at sandlots and Little League fields all around the San Francisco Bay area. Despite an interesting episode dealing with new uniforms, Stargell soon falls into full-on braggart mode. He mentions that his Encinal High School class also featured Curt Motton and Tommy Harper- two guys who would go on to play in the big leagues as well. Stargell wastes a few pages detailing each guys' Major League career, including stats, which teams they played for, and for how long. Again, it's like he cracked open a book and recited facts. Important to note that this book was published well before the Internet influx into the public eye, so maybe Willie was trying to impress the reader with his research and worthless almanac info.
After high school, Willie was approached by the Pirates organization and was on the way to "realizing my dream of playing in a major league stadium". Notice that he said "STADIUM". Not "park" or "field", but stadium. Interesting, only because Willie played most of his career in the Cookie Cutter Stadium years of Major League Baseball. A period when almost-identical stadiums were being erected in Cincinnati, Pittsburgh, Philadelphia and other cities. Like several players and fans of the period, the stadium concept seemed very appealing. It wasn't until 1992 when Camden Yards opened that the public began to lean towards "fields", "parks" and other retro concepts. A noticeable contrast from Willie's era and the modern era.
At this point the book falls into a recurring pattern. 1- Willie mentions where he played that year. 2- Willie mentions who was on the team that year… including their stats. 3- Willie mentions how the team fared that year…including exact win streaks, winning percentage, the team's finish, and final record. 4- Willie mentions his final stats of that year. He'll break the pattern by sometimes including a fifth entry for postseason years: 5- Willie mentions how the team did in the postseason and what his stats were. This is especially annoying in the minor league years. While at the level of what is now Triple A baseball, Stargell says: "several of my teammates made it to the big leagues"..and then he tells us ALL of their lifetime stats! SEVERAL teammates on ANY Triple A team routinely make it to the big leagues. Stargell speaks of the promotions as if it were Haley's Comet. When the smoke cleared, the only notable teammate who ascended with Stargell was pitcher Bob Veale.
Willie's minor league tales are more exciting than his major league tales. He talks about playing in New Mexico, Texas and Iowa- almost a baseball wasteland. Most disturbing is a racial incident in Plainview, Texas. A local approached him with a shotgun, placed it to his forehead and threatened to shoot him if he played in that evening's game. Willie was scared shitless, but played the game and nothing happened.
Willie talks about making it to the Pirates in 1961 and meeting some of the characters from Pittsburgh's 1960 World Series "Team of Destiny". Guys like Bill Mazeroski, Bill Virdon, Dick Groat and most notably, Roberto Clemente are spoken of in a revered tone by Stargell. Willie goes into his outfield and injury troubles and this is where you start to REALLY question things. He mentions "the media labeled me as fat because I reported to Spring Training 30 lbs overweight. But they didn't understand my situation. I was married in the offseason and my new wife was a terrific cook ". Quite the gulag there, Willie. Moral of this episode: it's okay to blow your conditioning and get fat… just make sure everything tastes great!
The book becomes very tiresome at this point. Willie tries to interject some cultural history into his bland prose: "in 1969, people across the country wore mood rings and watched Rowan & Martin's Laugh-In. The women even wore mini-skirts. Some of our players wore mood rings, and some of their wives even wore mini-skirts". Ya don't say. Not even Roberto Clemente's untimely death is given much time. "Chicken on the Hill with Will", Stargell's chicken restaurant promotion, is only given two pages.
The pattern provides little deviation even when things heat up with the 70's "Lumber Company". The annual rivalry with the Cincinnati Reds is covered in broad detail, as is the late 70's pennant chases with the Phillies and Expos. He stops in between to talk about personnel switches, but it's that almanac thing, again. Its almost comical when Willie takes credit for suggesting the Pirates front office to acquire Tim Foli and Bill Madlock for the 1979 World Series run.: "Before the season, I told Chuck (Tanner, Pirates' manager) that we could win the World Series if we had these two players".
As you might expect, Stargell seems to put more emphasis into the 1979 chapter. You get the sense that he was extremely proud of this team. He reveals that his famous "Stargell Stars" were first given to a stewardess. The emergence of Sister Sledge's "We Are Family" tune pops into the Bucco clubhouse. There's also a great episode from a game in San Diego, where Chuck Tanner relieved pitcher Kent Tekulve…and then sent him out to play left field. The book comes to an end shortly after the 1979 season.
Along the way, Willie's words reveal bitterness to some parties. The media, obviously, is the target of most of this. ("They write stories to sell papers"). He displays anger towards the MVP voting process. At one point, he mentions that "my poor postseason play no doubt cost me the MVP". Nevermind that MVP votes are submitted BEFORE the postseason is concluded. He also displays a sour attitude towards fellow Pirates prospect Bob Bailey, consistently referring to him as a "bonus baby". In the late 70's, he doesn't seem too appreciative of pitching teammate Bert Blyleven, mentioning "they gave him enough money to last until the year 2000". Money seems to the root of this conflict, but Willie had nothing but praise for Dave Parker when the latter became the game's first million dollar-a-year player in 1979. (Willie even alludes to Parker's deal being his idea). It's okay to dish out money…but only to the players that have the Willie Stargell seal of approval.
Modern fans like to whine about the rate of personnel rollover. Stargell shows us that it's always been a regular part of the game. Several characters rotate in and out of the Pirate family. Dock Ellis and his flashy clothes, Phil Garner verbally sparing with Dave Parker and Manny Sanguillen's happy-go-lucky ways. Manager Danny Murtaugh enters and exits roughly six times. Almost every character had a nickname- Scoops, Foots, Rook, Dog, Easy, Scrap Iron, Scat, Hammer or Dog. Ironically, Stargell expresses reluctance towards his eventual nickname- 'Pops". One of the funnier passages deals with catcher Ed "The Troll" Ott in 1978. Willie is extremely proud of the way Ott bodyslammed Mets infielder Felix Milan, essentially ending Milan's career. Later, Ott had the job of protecting Willie's "Stargell Stars" because quite simply "nobody would mess with the Troll".
Another bothersome trend is Willie's ridiculous words of wisdom. This book was published in 1983, so perhaps he was angling for a second career as a motivational speaker. Willie drops such gems as "confidence breeds championships" when talking about…. his pre-high school rec team. He then mentions "In order to succeed, you must take chances", as his rationale for striking out often. These nuggets seem forced into context and really disrupt the flow. It's as if Stargell attempted to find meaning in the meaningless.
Willie Stargell's book slips below mediocre into almost atrocious territory. Several former big leaguers, including Joe Morgan have told stories about Stargell's wild habits. No mention of late night parties or self-indulgence. (although there is a hilarious picture of Willie posing with his Cadillac) In fact, he rarely mentions anything that did not happen to him on the ballfield. It's roughly 90% Pirates history, 10% Stargell history. As opposed to Terry Bradshaw's, which was 10% Steeler history, 90% Bradshaw history. If you are a Pirate fan, this book is just another informational pamphlet- about as enlightening as a box score.
Willie Stargell knew how to smash the baseball. He just didn't know how to write a book.
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