SPORTS-(PIRATES)
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October 7
Full count: another season in the books
As I write this, Derek Jeter has just scored on a shallow flyball to
right and the Yankees have tied their Division Series with the Twins at
1-1. My workday flew by, today, listening to the
Astros pound the Fucking Braves. The postseason is in full bloom, complete with the
red-white and blue bunting. Plus, it's always donwright COOL having
playoff games during the work week. I believe MLB is the only
major sport that holds playoffs during the workDAY. The League Championships
and the World Series move to primetime, but the first round is
always a week of bliss.
It's also around this time of the year that
baseball gets shunned for football. Now I'm a HUGE football fan, but
there are several reason why baseball is a more endearing sport. This is just
my opinion of course...but you are WRONG if you disagree (and if ya'
do, there's always the ES-Board!)
- Baseball has no instant replay. We've all seen it. A defensive back scoops
up an apparent fumble or interception! He then runs 60 yards, untouched, into
the endzone and the fans go nuts! But no...that REALLY didn't happen.
The ballcarrier was down by contact, never had "posession", or was out of bounds. Sorry,
but what you saw NEVER HAPPENED. When was the last time a homerun was negated, beause the
hitter was out of the batter's box?!
- Baseball has no yellow coupons. Similar to #1: Your favorite receiver
has just broken off and caught a sensational 65 yard TD pass. Nope, penalty flag.
Some fat guy held another fat guy on the play. What you just saw NEVER
HAPPENED. When was the last time a 6-3 putout was wiped out because the shortstop
moved before the ball was in play?
- A baseball team plays 5-7 times a day. This is not to discount the effort put out
by football players. Slamming your shoulders (but NOT your helmet, that's a fine)
into a 340 lbs dude is tough work. But mentally, football
players only have to get up for 20 games a year, if they're lucky. Baseball
has a leisurely pace, but requires more mental concentration. 5-7 times a week
for roughly 6 monhts (or 7 if you're lucky). Baseball makes you proud to have a job.
- Baseball players are more accessible. Really, I can't remember the last
time a football player came over to talk to fans and sign autographs before
a game. Does this ever happen? Really...email me if you have proof.
- Coors never did a Kid Rock commercial for baseball. This is key. Nobody ever
"had to feel this".
Although Coors DID do those homo-erotic "take me out to the
barrrrr" commercials. In case you miss the homo-eroticism: those
ads convey the message that women are just toys. The REAL thrill
is hanging out with your gay friends, driving a Jeep and
drinking shitty beer.
- Old fuckers. Yes, football has its old fuckers, too. But they're not
engrained in the modern game like baseball's old fuckers. When was the last time
we saw Roger Staubach on a Cowboys sideline? Most of a baseball team's coaches
are former players. Some old farts are even brought back
for the ocassional "special instruction". Heck, in his final days,
Ted Williams would still roll out to games and discuss hitting. You can't go
to an Indians Spring Training game without bumping into
Bob Feller. When does a former football player ever pop by his old club, unless
money, job, or a promotion is involved?
- Seating. Unless it's Yankee Stadium or Fenway Park, chances
are you can actually GET TICKETS to your local baseball team. On the
DAY OF THE GAME, even. Without getting your cornhole ripped open! Face value or less, too! As for
those Yankees, Fenway and Wrigley games...if you look hard you can get tickets
to those.
Thank you, St. Louis
The Cardinals organization has become my personal savior and Favorite Team Ever.
They were called into the ER sometime on a Friday night in August to remove a malignant
tumor. That tumor was attached to the Colorado Rockies organization and was
named Larry Walker.
Yes, the Rockies are STILL a shitty organization. But now
I'm not so embarassed having to work right next door to Coors Field
Thanks to St. Louis, I no longer have to hear "Crazy Train" three times a game. I no longer have to see Walker go 2 for 3, his team lose 6-11 and hear him say "I got my hits, eh". Or see him stand at the plate with one out and a runner on third...and work a walk. Or see him sit below the right field scoreboard between innings, while the rest of his team is in the dugout.
Bitterness aside, it was simply time for Walker to advance his career. He's been in a cushy position since 1999 and hasn't had any real motivation. He'd become stagnant. The Rockies treated him like he was the John Elway of their team. He was given a free ride and was allowed to roam free. The team cut him so much slack it was pathetic. He was allowed to come and go as he pleased. This was a guy who missed an entire WEEK of the 2001 season to have a tooth pulled. Or take a few games off to go see an eye doctor. I guess in a way he was their Elway...only without the wins, stones, durability, toughness, championships, leadership ability, respect, impact and importance. I hope Walker remembers what it's like to play the game and helps out the Cardinals.
This also gives the Rockies payroll flexibility and allows open arteries for
their farm system. Without Walker's fat contract (and, in 2006, sans the contracts
of Denny Neagle, Charles Johnson and Mike Hampton), the Rockies can commit to
developing and signing their young talent. Without high priced talent clogging the field,
guys like Chone Figgins won't have to
be shipped out, again.
Oh by the way... Todd Helton, the Rockies' record book is now your own personal property. Good luck.
The 2004 Bucs: one more time for all time.
The Pirates took a step back in the win-loss tally this year, but made a few
noticeable strides.
As discussed on the ES-Board (yes, another plug), Jason Bay is the NL Rookie of the Year.
Oliver Perez became the first Buc since Bob Veale to register 200+ striekouts.
I'll be shocked if he's not the 2005 Opening Day Starter. Or 2006, 2007 and 2008 for
that matter. The Brian Giles trade has turned out to be a good trade for both sides.
Craig Wilson's first season as a full-time starter would be graded as a "C". He put up
decent numbers, but still showed a frustrating knack for not producing in
key situations. Rob Mackowiak had some great moments, but he'll max out around
60-75 RBI's each year. He's not a long term answer in the outfield or at third. I like both of
these guys, but I think that the 2004 season is the best it will ever get for either.
Jason Kendall returned to leadoff and finished in the top 10 in the batting race.
Tike Redman bombed in the leadoff spot during the first half. Although Redman really picked it up
in the second half, for the second straight year. I'm sure I'll be
trumpetting him as my "fantasy sleeper pick", once again in 2005. Not saying
that's good judgement on my part. Redman had one of my more memorable
moments when I was at PNC Park in August. He made a spectacular diving catch, and
I was floored when the fans gave him standing ovation.... they then repeated
the feat when he came to bat in the next inning.
The rest of the Bucs' youth corps showed promise. If not for Jason Bay, Jose Castillo
would have received alot of attention for his steady season at second base.
Physically, Ty Wigginton
appears to be a better fit for the Steelers, but at 25 he'll
be counted on to produce in '05. Daryle Ward has a chance to return for
another season. Ward was streaky, but his hot streaks were phenomenal. A
3-4-5-6 combo of Bay, Ward, Wilson, Wigginton would be nice.
I still believe Kip Wells
and Josh Fogg can be consistent double-digit winners for the next 4 or 5
years. After a wretched April and May, Fogg
really turned it around.
Dave Williams and Jon Van Benschoten will probably be starters 4 and 5, next season.
Ian Snell or Bobby Bradley could crack the rotation if injuries hinder
the top 5. Unfortunately, Sean Burnett would've been #4, but he's
undergoing Tommy John surgery and won't be ready until 2006
at the earliest. Ryan Vogelsong will most likely NOT be back as a starter. He'll be in the bullpen
if he makes the team at all. As for the bullpen, Salomon Torres should be back
to pitch another 397 games. Jose Mesa has a small chance of returning.. but who
knows who the closer will be. I'd like to see Brian Meadows,
John Grabow and Mike Johnston stick around. Lefty Mike Gonzalez might be
converted to closer, should Mesa depart or a closer isn't signed.
Finally, Lloyd McClendon made some head-scratching moves throughout the season.
Namely, sending pitch-hitter Abraham Nunez to the plate in late innings. I was pulling for
Lloyd when he was brought on board, but I'm not comfortable with hs continued
presence at the helm. I'd like to see Art Howe brought in, but the Pirates recently
re-upped with Lloyd and crew for another year. However, Lloyd does
gain points for wanting to tear Tony LaRussa's head off.
Barring a random World Series article or surprise book review, this is probably my last
"baseball/Pirates" column until Spring Training. Can't wait to head down to
Bradenton next March. I discovered jet-skiing last time...that ruled. I'm also
planning a mid-June "SUPER-TOUR" to Pittsburgh, Philadelphia, Baltimore,
Washington DC, New York (x2), Boston and Cooperstown. Sponsorships
are accepted.
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