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All-Star Game Fallout (or lack thereof)
July 13, 2005- Like readily-available plutonium, a functioning television is something you take for granted. My cable had been sliced open earlier in the day by a sprinkler repairman and for once I had to actually ...gasp..watch the All-Star Game in a bar. With ..gasp... other people. In public. That really blew, since my plan was to come home from work, watch the game in my tank-top and shorts, make my buffalo-chicken pizza and fall asleep around the 6th. Being exiled to the bar meant I had to spend 8.95 for a crappy buffalo chicken sandwich that made a Popeye's Po' Boy seem like gourmet food. The bar was pretty much me and 3 airheaded 22 year old chics...who sat there screaming and yelling about shots all night. No shorts and tank-top, rather my dress shirt and slacks. I also had to stay awake. Dammit.

When the game became lopsided by a 7-0 AL advantage, I thought about leaving, going home and doing the RETRO thing-- listening to the game on the radio. But it was the 6th and the tease of possibly seeing Jason Bay get in the game, along with the tease of the HOT brunette bartender led me to stick around. When the game ended, Bay never made to the plate and the hot burnette never made it to the backseat of my truck.

Once again, the game wasn't anything spectacular. Three players went yard and Kenny Rogers got boo'ed. Coincedentally or not, but the lone All-Stars from the two shittiest teams in MLB did not play (Dennys Baez of Tampa Bay and Brian Fuentes of Colorado). One weird occurence: NL starting second baseman Jeff Kent was pulled in the top of the second inning. His replacement, Luis Castillo, played the remaining 8 innings. Typically, starters last until the 4th, at least... so I'm not sure what the case was with Kent.

Even with the stipulations of the expanded rosters and "this one counts", this Pirates biased fan was still upset that no effort was made to get Jason Bay into the game. The AL at least let Scott Podednik get into the game as a defensive replacement. With 2 OF spots batting in the top of the 9th, it wouldn't have been so difficult to insert Bay as a pinch-hitter. Make the guy feel good, after he tanked the Home Run Derby. NL Manager Tony La Russa went out and brought in Chad Cordero to pitch all of 1/3 of an inning, so why not pull Andruw Jones or Moises Alou for a pinch-hitter, or even a pinch-runner!? I won't buy the "well, those hitters give us a better chance to win" excuse. This isn't to discount Alou or Jones, but when you're down to your last out and the opposing team brings in a fresh Mariano Rivera, all thoughts of winning greatly diminsh.

In the broadcast booth, Tim McCarver ate up air with more of his "insightful" comments. This cock-burger routinely tries to create catchphrases and weak similies, or point out ironies. He consistently falls short. The guy's about as insightful as a dead squirrel, has terrible timing, vocal delivery and needs to be banned from ever calling a game again. Ever. A true McCarvver gem: "There are two Lee's in the game...and both are driving in runs". When Moises Alou entered the game, McCarver went on a worthless tangent about how 3 Alou brothers once played in the same outfield. It's one thing to make RELEVANT connections and comparisons, but McCarver makes poor, WORTHLESS points simply to fill airspace. His partner Joe Buck commented about the noise generated by Ivan Rodriguez's bling-bling gold chain necklace. McCarver slowed down and replied "chain-chain-chain, here in MoTown". It's like Rainman giving a State of the Union address. "97 X...BANG!"

FOX's new "mound cam" worked well. I still chuckle when I remember MLB's "first base cam" that they tried to unveil in the 1992 game. One pick-off throw and dive-back to first and the thing was covered with dirt and not used again. "Mound cam" was positioned at the lower front-end of the pitching mound and returned some nice visuals. Early in the game, they caught an almost picturesque freeze-frame of Mark Buerhle in front of a sky litttered with luminescent clouds. They also added a nifty "pitch trajectory" graphic. Similar to the controversial glowing puck from hockey games, they used it in replays to show how a pitcher's breaking ball travelled. Something you should notice anyways, but a good way to emphasize certain pitches.

Wish list for next year: for the first time since 1992, let's have more than ONE Pirate make the squad. Dump Tim McCarver and double-check my cable connection a few hours before.


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