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vs. Tennessee Titans (W 34-20)
Proof that telemarketing, direct mail campaigns and billboard ads eventually work: the Donkeys finally bought in to a long distance plan on Monday night. All four of their touchdowns were scored form beyond 40 yards. Brandon Stokley opened the scoring with a 48 yard pass from a mobile Jay Cutler. Almost immediately, Glenn Martinez returned a punt 80 yards for another touchdown and a 14-0 advantage.

Down by two touchdowns, the Titans went into a "catch-up" mode and had to alter their run-heavy gameplan. Most of their ground yardage was picked up by Vince Young, through a combination of scrambling and designed QB-run plays. Traditionally, the Broncos have struggled against mobile QB's...like a pre-doggy ordeal Michael Vick in a 2004 game. It seemed like Young might be able to bring the Titans back, especially since the Donkeys called two costly timeouts that led to 10 points for Tennessee. At the end of the first half, Rod Bironas lined up for a 56 yard FG attempt. Like he did in the Raider game, Mike Shanahan called a last minute timeout. But things were reversed this time, as Bironas missed the attempt on the first try, but made it on the second. In the third quarter, the Broncos were confused in their defensive package and called another time out. A reprieve that allowed the Titans to challenge a previous play, which was reversed and ruled as a Vince Young touchdown.

In any other game this year, those two plays would've come back to haunt the Broncos. But for once, they actually looked like they had "talent". On the football field, even. Brandon Marshall was silent in the first half, but started making grabs in the second. He ran 41 yards off of another roving pass from Cutler for a touchdown. Cutler himself played arguably his best game as Donkey. No doubt, it was his best game in the nefarious blue "primetime pants".

Cutler wasn't put in his usual impossible situations due to the return of the running game. Selvin Young darted around as the primary back for the second week in a row. Young again showed a knack for cutting to the open space, but appeared weak going up the middle. When Young was injured in the fourth quarter, Andre Hall took over and recorded his own long touchdown: a 69 yard scamper that put the game away. It was probably easier than Hall expected. He's been returning kickoffs for the past few weeks and was probably amused when he only had to get past two levels of defenders, as opposed to the usual eleven. Hall's presence also showed that the days of Mike "Ding Dong" Bell as a runningback are over. Bell's still backing up Cecil Sapp at fullback and may never be seen again. Fullback IS a great position for some jackass who keeps running into piles.

Young rallied the troops the best he could, but he simply had nobody to throw to. Roydell Williams isn't a name that strikes fear into opposing cornerbacks. With the game still somewhat in doubt, Dre Bly intercepted Young at midfield. With the game completely out of doubt, Ian Gold tacked on another interception in the final two minutes. Statistically, Gold finished with one of his best games as a Donkey: 8 tackles, 1 fumble recovery and 1 interception. It was a good night, all around, as ESPN's Monday Night Football team didn't even resort to their usual bullshit of ranking guys with worthless qualifications (but they're all still a buncha' fucking douchebags).

Rather accidentally, the Broncos now find themselves tied for first place in the AFC Worst. 5-5 won't get you talking about playoff seedings, as this mark may be temproary. With Thanksgiving coming up, the Broncos should be thankful for playing in such a sub-par division, and thankful that Norv Turner has lived down to his reputation as a crappy coach. Much has been made of the Broncos' supposedly weak schedule the rest of the season. But as recent (okay.. the last NINE) seasons have shown, they're susceptible to a Monumental Fuck-Up at anytime. They travel to Chicago to play My Old Buddy Brian Griese and the Bears next week. Hopefully, the Donkeys bought into a nationwide long distance plan.

Chop Blocks
...||... I can't watch football on TV anymore. I tuned into a random game on Sunday afternoon: Chiefs at Colts. First play I see is 4th and 1. Peyton Manning takes the snap and plows behind his guard's buns. The CBS Sports announcer (I think his name was "Gus) excitedly yells: "a quarterback draw!!" Huh? A "sneak" is fairly removed from a "draw". A "draw" is something that similuates a pass, to "draw" in the defense. Taking the snap and immediately plowing forward is no such thing. May as well have called it a "reverse"!

...||... If this year's Miami Dolphins go 0-15, will Nick Buoniconti, Bob Griese, Manny Fernandez and the rest of those old farts from the perfect 17-0 team be on the sideline to cheer them? They could welcome them to an exclusive club, as the Dolphins would probably be the only franchise with both a 17-0 and an 0-16 squad.

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