SPORTS-(BRONCOS)
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vs. Green Bay Packers (L 19-13)
Do I really want to write about this? I'd rather review old DuckTales episodes or finally get around to reviewing
that "Unhittable" DVD/book about baseball no-hitters. But for now, I'll soldier on and
talk about all the "talent" that was on display Monday night. If you're keeping score at home,
that talent (in terms of football ability, at least) would be Brett Favre. Everybody else: looked
good in their uniforms.
Mike Shanahan is free to coach the Broncos as long as he desires, or until Pat Bowlen sells the team to
new ownership. Shanahan no longer seems interested in gameplanning or scripting plays. If he does script anything,
it's because he has Jay Cutler on his fantasy football team and needs him to score a touchdown so
he can win his league. How else do you explain calling a quarterback draw on 3rd and 4
with 20 seconds left to play? Didn't work, so the Donkey Emergency Response Field Goal Team ran
out and tied the game. It saved the Donkeys from a "Hugh Millen in 1991" scenario of clock
mis-management, but set up Brett Favre for an unbelievable game-winning play that you can't
even pull off on your Playstation 3.
One play in overtime. One big toss and one touchdown. Favre finds Greg Jennings for 80 yards and it's
one big loss for the Donkeys. At home. After failing to score more than one touchdown, at home.
After failing to convert inside the redzone, at home. After failing to run the ball, at home. After failing to
sack the quarterback, at home.
Actually, the Donkeys DID record one sack--on a technicality when Favre slipped
and he was touched by Elvis Dumervil in the second half. The defense was like a shitty jazz band: no sax.
Just like a shitty jazz band, you'd have to be bombed out of your mind and piss-drunk in a seedy bar at 2 am
to watch this kind of a show. Favre looked
as comfortable in the pocket as he does in those Prilosec commercials. Just hanging out, relaxing
and tossing the ol' pigskin.
On a night when Deanna Favre was promoting her autobiography about
fighting cancer, the Donkeys scripted their own story about succumbing to cancer. New system,
turnover, new positions-- whatever the excuse is, the Donkeys are sick and succumbing to some
form of disease. What's perplexing about the game is how Green Bay was able to drive the ball, but netted only
two field goals on those drives. Their touchdowns came on two big long bomb passes.
So, another week, another un-inspired recap and we're not even halfway done with the NFL season. But I am one step closer
to my 8 loss exit mark. I could be home-free within a month.
Chop Blocks
...||... Why didn't I just throw in the towel this week? Well, that cockbag Jim Armstrong from
the Denver Post used the line "some guy who used to sell cars" in his weekly/shitty NFL Notes
column. Where have we heard THAT before?! If he mentions the Denver Broncos Comic Book,
Blake Ezor or Neil "touchdown" Smith, I'm suing the bastard.
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