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vs. Cleveland Browns (L 16-17)
Hoping to play their starters for most of the game and to gain some much-needed optimism, the Donkeys thought ahead
and scheduled a "homecoming game" for the third weekend of pre-season, against their old whipping boys,
the Cleveland Browns. It was the equivalent of scheduling Our Lady of 108th Street Lutheran High as the homecoming opponent
for a top-level high school football program. Which made it all the more embarassing when the Donkeys lost, at home, while
playing their starters for the majority of the game.
While the Donkeys' new Jim Bates-led defensesive scheme continues to has as many holes as a Michael Bay plot,
the offense stumbled around as well. On the first kickoff, Dominik Hixon mishandled the ball and had to take a touchback.
Immediately afterwards, Jay Cutler fumbled the snap from Tom Nalen. Cutler looked like slightly less-than-average, as
he threw several questionable balls, had several batted balls, seemed to hesitate on a few,
and even made a dangerous move by throwing backwards to Cecil Sapp. He even had a Jake Plummer-esque
tipped ball turned into an interception, but it was nullified by defensive holding on the Browns.
Cutler turned in a few highlights, as he
found Javon Walker for 37 yards on 3rd and 12, then led the team on a decent scoring drive with 2 minutes left in the
first half. This appears to be all the exposure we'll get from Cutler, as traditionally the starters last about
one series in the final pre-season game. Overall, he's had an average pre-season and it's tough to get an
accurate feel on how he'll handle the offense. Right now, the offense and Cutler don't appear like a significant
upgrade from last year. That may all change when Travis Herny returns, though.
With Henry's absence, Cecil Sapp and Selvin Young got plenty of handoffs. Sapp should have a spot locked up, but I'm
hoping Young's decent performance (17 rushes for 91 yards and a TD) could lead to Mike Bell's departure.
Bell's shown a noticeable ego in his brief time as a Bronco (celebrating at the wrong time, stepping out
of bounds at the wrong time and giving smug interviews) and Young has looked like someone trying and wanting to earn a spot.
It's a long shot, but I'd be overjoyed if Ding Dong Bell was cut and Young took his spot. More realistically, Bell will make the roster and Young will be waivered and picked up for the practice squad.
The second half of the game was highlighted by the Browns Joshua Cribbs making a weaving TD catch from Brady Quinn, along with
Bernie Kosar's drunken commentary. I caught this game on the NFL Network, which had the unique distinction of
airing the first half with Denver coverage and the second half with Cleveland coverage. Thus, I got to
hear Kosar and his slurred speech. Give the guy some glasses and he'll be Harry Carey in a few years. Stuff like
"wuzhe doin' 'dere" really added to the usual excitement. Plus, he capped it off by saying he hopes to be caught on
camera as the Wendy's fan of the game: "holdin' a Frosty and rockin' out to AC/DC's Hells Bells". It's been awhile
since Kosar's been to Denver, so maybe he had forgotten about the effects of the altitude and how it's easier
to get drunk, up here. Bottoms up, Bernie.
But...since this is the NFL and full of "Action", the game came down to a final two-point conversion
attempt by the Broncos. Not wanting to play overtime-- and rightfully so-- Mike Shanahan elected to
go for two, instead of notching a 17-17 tie. Selvin Young was stuffed on the conversion, but it wasn't
his fault. Left guard Mark Fenton (#65) stood straight-up and offered no blocking at all. He might have
finger-slapped a linebacker of defensive back, but he was guilty of busting that play. Fenton might be among the first cuts this week.
These first three games have not increased anyone's opinion of the 2007 Donkeys. Travis Henry's brief
appearance in San Francisco has been it. The last two weeks have increased the Pessimist Quotient around
Denver. Yet, there didn't seem to be alot of penalituies, so that's good, right?! Although a ref could
probably flag the Broncos defense, every play, for having 12 men on the field, thanks to the presence
of Adams the Hutt.
Chop Blocks
...||... I see that NFL Films is offering a two disc DVD of "The Complete History of the New York Jets". TWO discs?!
Damn, that's gotta' be about, what, 15 minutes per disc?! Joe Willie and Super Bowl 3, then maybe some AFC
Title Game collapses with Jackson Todd and Vinny Testaverde. Get yours today!
...||... From the cut n' paste department: I see that NFL Films is offering a two disc DVD of "The Complete History of the Kansas City Chiefs". TWO discs?!
Damn, that's gotta' be about, what, 15 minutes per disc?! Hank Stram and Super Bowl 4, then all those
first round home playoff losses. Get yours today!
...||... Okay, I get it... it's supposedly "funny" to air commercials for fantasy football with guys
in a living room wearings sweats and being committed to their league. Maybe a stupid bowling trophy or
pizza is awarded. But what I really don't get it how some "fans" are shown wearing their favorite team's colors.
Ffantasy football dweebs have no loyatly to any team and just pick the player with the best stats.
...||... Search engine referral time: Michael Vick plea bargain. Michael Vick dog-fighting. Michael Vick
canine rape harness. Michael Vick suspended. And of course: Renee Herlocker.
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