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Vs. Oakland Raiders (L 38-28)
Heh. Let's get this one out of the way.
Six years ago, the Broncos played the Raiders on Monday Night Football.
At that time, the Raiders had consistently been demolishing the Broncos for the past
five years. Only a last minute fluke drive from John Elway and
Arthur Marshall in 1992 provided the lone Broncos win, from 1990-1994.
Jeff Hostetler, Nolan Harrison, Howie Long, Tim Brown and others had dined
on Bronco cuisine for years. The Broncos ineptitude against the Raiders
had singlehandedly kept them from advancing in the playoffs in 1993, as the Broncos
went 0-3 against their rivals that year. The Broncos were so deperate to beat
the Raiders that they even signed Tim Brown to an offer sheet.
Al Davis kept Brown in Oakland and proceeded to thoroughly embarass the Broncos.
The Raiders ran up 48
points in a September 1994 blowout at Mile High Stadium and the trend appeared to be continuing,
indefintely. However, on
that Monday night six years ago, the Broncos got out a riding crop and
finally beat the Raiders' rear ends, convincingly. It was so
bad, that Vince Evans took most of the Raiders' second half snaps. None other than
John Elway said of that 1995 game: "I don't know what winning Super Bowl is
like...but it must feel a little bit like this". Shanahan's Broncos
then went on to an amazing run of dominance. Just like Arthur Marshall provided
that lone Bronco win in 1992, Napoleon Kaufmann provided a lone Raider win in
1997. The Broncos were suddenly 11-1 against the Raiders. Words like
"gimp" and "bitch" were used to describe the loving relationship.
But, things change, teams adjust, relationships drift, and Brian Griese plays QB. This time,
it was the Raiders finally breaking through on a Monday Night game.
It was a special occasion for the "Rayduh Nation Baby".
They had painted their faces, shined up their foam shoulderpads, got
new body art and
trimmed their beards...and that was just the female fans. Even more discomforting-
for some of them it wasn't special... they wear their shoulderpads,
eyepatches and Darth Vader helmets to work, everyday.
Even MNF sideline reporter Mushmouth Dickerson couldn't screw up this fact: The Raiders
Ran Over The Broncos.
Mediocrity has been a common word in Denver, lately. However, even a medicore
defense is able to force ONE punt in an entire half of football. The Broncos'
defense failed to do that. Raiders Punter Shane Lechler finally stopped checking out
Melissa Stark's ass in the third quarter- he was FINALLY getting in to the game.
Ray Rhodes will righfully receive all the blame (cough cough *no sacks* cough cough)
, but the real factor was
"experience". Experience carried by two of the NFL's all-time great WR's:
Tim Brown and Jerry Rice. Their combatants for the evening? Two young cornerbacks-
Denard Walker and Deltha O'Neal. Walker is in his third year of starting. O'Neal
in his first. Walker and O'Neal are decent CB's, but this isn;t like going against
two mediocre veterans...like, Qadry Ismail and Derrick Alexander... two guys
who have been around the league, but haven't dominated. Nope, this
was Tim Brown and Jerry Rice. Nothing medicore there. The Raiders then moved the ball, all night,
by hitting their two WRs with short (10-20 yard) passes and making
Deltha and Denard look like two jellyfish trying to lay masonry.
Terrell Davis returned to the delight of six fans. He had a few decent pitch
plays, but didn't fool anybody into blurrbing out the phrase
"he's back". Mike Anderson had some of the best runs of the night, which is
not saying alot. In the second quarter, Brian Griese increased the
crap-fest by scoring more Moron Points: the pocket was shrinking and
Griese AGAIN fell victim to THE most devastating force in professional
football- the Fingers of Travian Smith. For the third time in four weeks,
two fingertips were enough to topple Mt. Griese.
Rod Smith continued to make his catches when called upon. He was held under
100 yards, but still secured two TD passes, including one from Gusamania!
Griese threw one moronic interception and a final, desperate 4th down pass
was snagged by Raiders CB Tory James. James made an even bigger moronic mistake-
it was fourth down, but he wanted the interception. By doing so,
he cost his team about 30 yards of field position. At that point, the game was out
of hand, but a little selfish stat-padding is always fun for your agent.
It was ugly, it was sobering...and the Broncos were out of the game after the
first series. Jason Elam hit a field goal, that will go on record as being
the 20,000th point in MNF history. Other than that, no memorable moments
from this game. Just file it under the "crappy Raider losses" from 1990-1994.
Maybe it
will make the good times semm that much sweeter....in about ten years or so,
or whenever Griese suffers a Joe Theisman-type injury. Yup,
"mediocrity" is quite the buzz word around Denver. Or, as Mushmouth
Dickerson would say it :"mee-dum-oww-crub-tee"
Real quick.. forget about how MNF promotes "Dennis Miller Annotated"
on ABC.com.. we need "Eric Dickerson Annotated".
Possible Cheap Ticket Weekend this week. The Broncos lost badly, and the
Chargers are in town. With three equally mediocre teams in the ensuing weeks, the
Broncos will no doubt have fans creaming their shorts by the end of the month. However,
just like last year's team was 4-4 at this point, this team AGAIN does not
have the ability, techinque, poise or commitment to make the play-offs, let
alone advance in the January bracket. No shame in being loyal and following my team,
but I'm not expecting an AFC title. However...I can't wait for December 30th, when
the Raiders roll through Denver.
FINAL CUTS
Okay, they have Darth Raider, and I'm pretty sure I saw some
Darth Maul people, recently. So my question is this: When does
someone start dressing up like Boba Fett? A New York Jets fan
as "Boba Jett"?
...||...
Broncos Safety Kenoy Kennedy is scheduled to be at the Highlands Ranch Wal-Mart, this
Saturday (11/8), from 2-4.
...||...
Maybe it's just me, but I was hearing the old "Bill Goldberg Entrance Theme"
when I saw the Saints' Kyle Turley stomping into the Jets.
...||...
Not sure of the brand name or product, but here's my New Favorite Commercial, As
Seen During NFL Games:
Guy One: "I heard you can fit the equivalent of two mountain bikes in this new car".
Guy Two: "Equivalent? What else would you want to put in there?"
Guy One: "A pony..."
...||...
From the Lame Superstition File: I kinda knew this bludgeoning was on the way.
I went to the mailbox on Saturday night, and my longtime Bronco keychain thingie
fell off my ring and shattered. Somebody call Brother Voodoo- creepy mojo, man!
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