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Vs. New England Patriots (W 31-20)
The good guys win one and everything's hunkee dory, right? The problems are
still there, but for one afternoon, the vice that was clamped on the Broncos' collective balls
eased the tension, just a little bit.
Quick, important late-breaking newsflash: Terrell Davis is listed as
probable for next week's game
With almost everybody but Detroit hovering around the .500 mark, it's not surprising
that the Broncos faced another 3-3 team this weekend. After two straight ass-hammerings,
the Broncos actually received a warm ovation at kick-off. Tickets did NOT
drop in price, so enough people with disposable income still shelled out the cash lumps
to sell out Invesco Field, again. The Broncos appeared as motivated as a
35 year old woman eyeing the discount apparel rack at Wal-Mart. Kavika Pittman
then made an impact.... he was called for roughing the passer on 3rd down. The Patriots
fluttered back into existence and sustained a respecatble drive down the field. Adam
Vinatieri connected for three. The very next drive, the Deltha Force surrendered
a 15 yd facemask call and soon fantasy football flavor du-jour
David Patten snagged a TD pass. It was 10-0, Patriots. The united populace of Denver
sat on their hands, thinking "here we go again". I even started to cue up
my "Dressed to Kill" album, thinking I'd have to quote "Rock Bottom", again.
Denver was then able to make a respectable drive and score on an 8 yard smash from
Mike Anderson. New England then went to the Tecmo Bowl playbook- they pulled
off a reverse- WR pass from last week's NFL icon- David Patten. Patten's pass
was a pretty boneheaded call, but even so, Eric Brown cuaught the duck at
the 1 and the Broncos were back in business. Patriots QB Tom Brady still continued to shred the
Broncos defense and just before halftime, put the score in New England's favor at
17-10. After completing a TD pass to Troy Brown, just before the half, Brady
apparently had some moronic, cocky words for Broncos LB Al Wilson. Like any other white
dipstick who tries to ape Jim Rome, Brady felt pretty snazzy. I'm sure he thought he
was "running the smack and giving props to himself for his epic
feats in the Bronco's crib. So he had to get up in Wilson's dome". Supposedly,
Wilson took offense to this, and used it to fire up the defense for the rest of the day.
Quick, important late-breaking newsflash: Terrell Davis is listed as
doubtful for next week's game
With the running game resembling the "glory days" of Sammy Winder (two yards..
three yards.. make em pass), something else had to emerge. Wilson's defense had
a tremendous second half. They knocked Brady off of his game and intercepted him
for the first four times in his short career. Hockey has some bullshit "plus-minus"
stat. Somehow, it tracks the goal differential when a certain player is on the field.
Denard Walker made a difference in the football equivalent of this BS: he intercepted
a pass in the back of the endzone, preventing six points. In the fourth, he then
intercepted another pass, and returned it for 30-soe yards, only this time he scored ten points.
a +12 point differential right there. Oh shit, I hope this hockey comparison
is a one time thing. I'd hate to see the NFL play a 74 game schedule for the sole purpose
of eliminating the Detroit Lions from all 13 rounds of the playoffs.
Griese the moronic icon, did his best to keep the Patriots in the game. He rolled
to his right and fell pray to THE (second) most devastating force in pro football today-
the fingers of Willie McGinest! McGinest dove as Griese was rolling out. Any other QB
would...oh, I dunno, maybe LIFT THEIR FOOT! Not Griese, the guy's as lead-footed as
Dan Marino in a bucket of wet concrete. First John Randle's fingers, now Willie McGinest's
fingers. Someday, Griese may fall victim to a legitimate sack. Another bobbled
interception left a mark. Griese did his best to recover it, but the ball rolled into
his 'taint and Bryan Cox soon had the thing. That was, quite possibly the
only time I've seen someone attempt a fumble recovery by cradling the ball
with his 'taint.
Quick, important late-breaking newsflash: Terrell Davis is listed as
conventional for next week's game
Rod Smith made an sensational satch and run for 65 yard TD. That, combined with Wilson's
defensive attitude adjustment, made all the difference in winning this game. Smith's
catch was a national highlight reel spot, and showed that the guy, just maybe, can
be mentioned as one of the league's top WRs, with Terrell Owens and Randy Moss. With
another 100+ game, Smith's on a Crazy Legs Hirsch type of run. Makes everyone
completely forget about who wore #80 before he did. The Broncos employed
several empty backfield/5 WR sets. The five? Smith, the RB (Anderson or Gary) and all
three TE's (Hape, Clark and Carswell). Despite double coverage, Rod still carried
the receving corps. Oh yeah, Keith Poole made an appearance... he ran a deep route
down the right side, then lobbyied for a yellow coupon. Rod must have been tired
on that play.
Quick, important late-breaking newsflash: Terrell Davis is listed as
probable for next week's game
By the fourth quarter, Tom Brady's 15 minutes were up. Four interceptions pretty much
sealed the deal and quieted the doomsayers for another week. A win is a win, and in a
league where about 75% of the teams are around .500, it'll work. Look ahead to next week
and it's Monday Night Football....in Oakland... against the Raiders (well, shit, who
ELSE would you be playing in Oakland?). It's tough to admit this, but for the first time
in years, the Broncos' streak against the Raiders is in serious jeopardy. Win that game,
, everything's back on track and their testicles are out of that vice. Lose, and it's
time to make grape juice.
Quick, important late-breaking newsflash: Terrell Davis is listed as
apathetic for next week's game
FINAL CUTS
Another goofy song I wanted to quote this week was "Five Minutes Alone" by
Pantera. All day Sunday, CBS was incapable of going at least five minutes without
mentioning some shitbag TV show. "Carswell catches a touchdown pass...and
a reminder that a very special edition of THe Education of Max Bickford is
this week on CBS". I felt like getting up and screaming like Phil Anselmo at
the set. "I ask you please just give me... five minutes alooooone!!!" It's okay
to promote other football broadcasts during a football broadcast...but give it
a fucking break on the "King of Queens" and "Everybody Wants to Shove a Spiked
Dildo up Raymond's Ass" type of stuff! Not even wrestling announcers shill as much as CBS
does!
...||...
The Rams need to lose, badly. I agree with Jim Haslett (Barney Rubble), they are
running a bunch of horsecrap plays. An onside kick when you're ahead by two touchdowns?
That shit's not even cool in Tecmo Bowl
...||...
Whoa! They had frisbee dogs at halftime! Screw that TV studio recap stuff, keep it
at the stadium (unless there's a band playing)!
...||...
Goodbye to Travis McGriff and the
2000 eStragand.com Rod Bernstine/DaleCarter Award winner-
Billy Jenkins. At 5-8, McGriff may even be too small for the horse racing
circuit.
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