SPORTS-(BRONCOS)
Archive
Vs. San Diego Chargers(L 10-27)
How appropriate, I proofed this a day later and it is, quite possibly,
the worst recap I've done. But I'm here to entertain ya, bubba.
I can't wait a day
I don't care what you say
Oh yeah, you got to pay
When you hit rock bottom
And you're there to stay
-Kiss, "Rock Bottom", 1975
It's there to stay, until further notice. Or as they in the military (or the
asylum), "The beatings will continue until morale improves".
Give the Broncos credit.. at least they didn't pretend to be in this game. They
coughed it up on the opening kickoff: Ronnie Jenkins runs 88 yards for a
a TD. 13 seconds gone, and the Broncos are already in a hole. Dammit, when was
the last time the Broncos were out of a game by kickoff??
Even the famous "NFL FILMS Deep Voice Guy" couldn't elaborate on this
craptacular performance of the Donkies. Cue the music and the slo-mo
highlight reel of Griese getting nailed by Marcellus Wiley and
throwing an interception.
"It was a loooong afternoon for The Denver Broncos....
It will be a long season for The Denver Broncos...
As fate will have it, it will be a long decade for the team from the Mile High City...
Their championship banners have been tainted by that cruelest of realities- a Griese stain of mediocrity
"
Thanks for dropping by, NFL FILMS Deep Voice Guy. Look for your royalty check in
mid-March.
Once is a fluke, twice is a trend...three times is a PROBLEM. Getting hammered by the Chargers is like
getting drunk off of O'Doul's. It just doesn't figure. When was the last time
the Chargers had any type of juggernaut/bludegeon-giver team? The lame ass
1994 team that went to the Super Bowl with Stan Humphries? Wade Phillips
beat THAT team. Dan Fouts' buddies from the early 80's? Too bad fantasy football wasn't a fixture
back then, because that's all those teams were good for. The Chargers have always been
about as intimidating as a shuttle bus driver. You have to HELP them kick YOUR ass.
With penalties, interceptions, a fumble and not passes over 18 yards, I'd say the
Broncos helped to kick their own ass. I'm reminded of my
big brother grabbing my own fist, at age 4, and saying "why are you hitting yourself??! BAM!
"Stop hitting yourself!" BAM! BAM! While I sat there, bawling, expecting my mom
(or in the Broncos' case, the refs) to step in.
The Brian Griese delusion-o-rama added to the pummeling. Marcellus Wiley
didn't bring a pair of pliers and/or a blowtorch- but he did get medieval
on Griese's ass. Griese, what does Marcellus Wiley look like? Griese: "What"?
CLICK! SAY WHAT ONE MORE TIME, MOUTHERFUCKER!! WHAT...DOES... MARCELLUS.. WILEY..
LOOK LIKE?? Does he look lke a bitch? Then why you trying to brush him off like a bitch?
Nope, Griese stated after the game that he firmly believed the tipped pass from
Wiley would have been a sure TD catch for Dwayne Carswell. Of course, and
those other plays would have been 6 points a piece... except for the fact that
all those San Deigo guys were on the field. Dumbass.
Prior to the game, Griese appeared on KOA's pre-game show. He felt that they lost
to Seattle last week because "the offensive line didn't go out and establish an attitude".
NOT YOUR FAULT AT ALL, DICK HEAD!!!! In case you haven't heard, one of my
cardinal rules is "never slam your linemen". They protect your scrawny ass
90% of the time. Late in the fourth quarter, Griese stood in the backfield,
without moving his head at ALL, and got nailed on a blind-side blitz from
Rodney Harrison. Cries of "stay down, stay down" blared out all over Denver.
Very next play, he gets sacked again... with minimal movement of his feetsies.
The defense are flies, and Griese is the shit.
But that's all the line's fault. He didn't throw accurately over 18 yards... definitely the line's
fault. The line was out there getting in the way of the receivers.
Aside from video game freaks playing Madden 2002, how many professional
games has Brian Griese won? He's now 16-17 as a starting QB. He had no problems doing
a commercial for Spike Lee, prior to last year's playoffs. "West Coast Offense, here in the
playoffs to SHOW YA SOMETHING!" It's been three seasons now, and Griese has shown that he is
a cowardly, finger-pointing, gimpy-shouldered, egotistical SHIT BAG.
Hmm, bitter much, ES??
It's going to get alot worse before it gets better. Mike Anderson has a recurring case of the
fumbles. Eddie Kennison can't seem to evade single man-to-man coverage. The defense is
a slowly burning bag of popcorn, with only Al Wilson standing out. Delth O'Neal has
shown flashes... but the INFERNOS outweighs the flashes. On Sunday, Deltha was
lit up, bigtime, by Doug Flutie and Jeff Graham. Remember, Flutie to Graham is just like
Montana to Rice, only without the wins, catches, TDs, records, and championships.
Just nothing seems bright when the ordinary, dish-rag Chargers eat the Broncos'
lunch. What's the problem? Here's a hunch/reminder:
But hey, this could be fun...Next week, they're back in town to chase after the Patriots. 3-3 is not the apocalypse, but
it does look like a train wreck. It looks like another drubbing is in store this weekend...
even the sappy Raiders won't able to fix the Broncos' choo-choo of crap.
But if you look arond the league, just about everyone (including the Dallas Texans)
is at .500.
5-11 here we come?! Maybe Jarious Jackson will get some starts, late in the season.
Oh well, I'm in for the long haul. The crappy times make the good times seem that much better.
Here's the scary thing: this week, people will be calling for the re-instatement of Gus-a-mania
as the full time QB. "This team needs to find a spark, so why not try Gus"?
One good thing about this, though...tickets have been STARTING at 95 bucks a piece.
Expect those thingies to drop like vegetarians at a meat packing plant.
FINAL CUTS
My mom actually believes that Ed McCaffrey is hanging out at McDonald's on Mondays.
McDonald's runs local spots in Denver, where they have Ed McCaffrey talking about how
he has nothing to do, nowadays...so he's supposedly at Mickey D's eating
Big Macs.
Ma called me this weekend:
"You should take your football to McDonald's on Mondays, and see if McCaffrey's there. He's
supposed to be signing stuff". Really, she's not saracastic, she believes this!...||...
Okay, so it's not PENZOIL commercials, but PRESTONE commercials that have
the hot chic in them.
...||...
"Survivor" must really be down in the ratings. CBS constantly ran commercials for
this week's upcoming "Giant Rolling Ball of Shit Challenge", during the game. I just hope that
redneck Tom makes it to the end. THAT guy's damn funny. The little blonde who couldn't down the blood
last week is kinda cute... but she's not generating a Amber-like fascination for me.
...||...
Oh yeah, "MILES" was the winning name in the "Name That Ass" contest.
BACK to Broncos index
