SPORTS-(BRONCOS)
Archive
September 10th- As expected, the Broncos beat the Atlanta Falcons like a
drum. Depsite, the local radio talk show sympathies for Dan Reeves, it still is
fun to watch him get a proper ass-kicking while trying to run his 1986-style offense.
Funny how two years ago, Falcons QB Chris Chandler was "finally starting to settle in at quarterback", but
this year he's just another journeyman QB, again. I do feel for the guy, though. He is,
after all the President of the "Guys Who Look LIke Jim Kelly Club". The similarities
between Chandler and Kelly are eerie... right down to the baldspot, jersey number and
Super Bowl bludgeonings.
Reeves wasn't really the big story this week, that spotlight belonged to
Mike Anderson. A 26 year old rookie gets the starting nod and racks up 130 some yards.
Proving, once again, that the Broncos offensive line is any coaches' wet dream.
Sure, it was against the Falcons, but this still qualifies as a legitimate
"Cool Moment in Broncos History". Right up there with Blake Ezor's game against
the Colts in 1990. Anderson had some happy time voodoo going for him, too. He just happens
to have the same number as former Broncos FB/RB/ST and local media legend, Reggie Rivers.
I usually try to put a sarcastic spin on things, but this Anderson story was just too
niiiiice to try to find a humorous element.
Okay, there was ONE funny thing about Anderson. Midway through the game, we found the
answer to the age old football question: "How many Rookies does it take to tie a shoe"?
The answer was three: Mike Anderson, KaRon Coleman and Jarious Jackson. Anderson's
shoe came off following a play. After trying to slip back into it while in the
huddle, he quickly motioned to the coaches and sprinted to the sideline, bum shoe
in his hand. Rookie and practice squad fodder, KaRon Coleman ran to the huddle. Coleman
then replaced Anderson and carried 3 times for about 21 yards. Meanwhile, third string
rookie QB Jarious Jackson helped Anderson with his wheels. It took them about
two minutes to complete the operation. Anderson then returned to the game, and a great cosmic
mystery was finally solved.
Have you noticed how the announce teams seem to lose quality, the further
a team is from a Super Bowl run? Two or three years ago, all the networks ran their
first team anounce crews on Broncos games. After that 0-4 start of last year, all the
first teams went over to Titans, Colts and Bucs games. We got stuck with scrubs like
the ones we had this weekend. Some little dude and Jeff Lageman. Lageman, a former
Jets and Jags d-lineman wasted no time in propping up his own marginally mentionable career.
Several times he mentioned "well, I know, cuz I played against this guy", when referring
to Dwayne Carswell and Tom Nalen. Lageman made it
sound like he played for the Raiders or Chargers... and like he would line up against
Nalen and Carswell, continuously. His stated connection to defensive coordinator
Greg Robinson was acceptable, though. Lageman and Robinson did spend quite a bit of time
together in New York. I was also surprised to see that Lageman cut his famous mullet.
Instead, opting for a "Clooney-esque", short and brush it forward 'do.
Next game is against the Raiders. There's been some juicy comments from Darrell Russell
about the Broncos supposed "illegal blocks". Al Davis has been bitching about the
Broncos policy of deferred money to Terrell Davis and John Elway and has accused them
of illegally restructuring the salary cap. Pat Bowlen has shot back saying "He's just
mad because he can't beat us".
Then, with Jason Elam out with a nasty back injury, the Broncos
signed former Raiders placekicker Joe Nedney. Nedney is bitter
at how the Raiders treated him over the summer...letting him stagnate while
they tried to work in Sebastian Janikowski. Shanahan joked to the press saying,
"Let's put it this way, if he hand't made any of his kicks, he'd still be on
our team this week". The Raiders have been the Bronco's bitch for about five years now.
Both teams are looking to make a statement and get back on the winning track. Both are
coming off big wins from last weekend. It's only
week three and although both teams won't acknowledge it, this is a "must win" game.
This, friends, is why football fucking ROCKS!
FINAL CUTS
That EDS commercial about "herding cats". Shit, I just don't get it... || ...
They mentioned the new Broncos's stadium will be
"football only". Great, let's kick those fucking soccer nerds out
and send them back to that dog track they used to play at. No way should a
football field should double as a soccer field. That's like having a Dixie Chicks song
on your Slipknot CD ... ||... The other announcer (little dude with Lageman) mentioned
"gee, I wonder if anyone picked up Mike Anderson for their fanatsy football
team". Scary, but you're hearing more fantasy football talk in the real world.... || ..
MNF was sure entertaining this week. Who the hell cares about Dennis Miller, when you've
got sideline reporters Mushmouth and Melissa Stark?? One is ten times funnier and the other
is still, a little package!
