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Famous Dumps
SPORTS-(BRONCOS)
Archive
August 14th- Today begins the inaugural edition of this section of
the site. (Commemorative, limited edition collector's pamphlets
are available soon... check QVC, immediately following this broadcast!).
This may be sort of a nothing period for the NFL, despite what
Sports Illustrated and ABC/ESPN would have you think. I mean,
preseason games have about as much bearing on a team's year as
their stadium's food menu does. A few interesting things do pop up,
however.
Brian Griese is perhaps, the greatest quarterback in his own mind. I'll never
forget this dolt's audacity last year,
as he sat in the locker room in Tampa Bay, telling anyone within earshot
"I know I can play this game". This, from a guy who had just fumbled away
another game and left his team sitting at exactly NO wins. What "game" was
he referring to? SEGA? Hell, I rack ass on EA Sports Madden 99, but rarely
do I get to put on pads, get the crap kicked out of me for three hours and
then tell everyone how great I am.
Griese continued his string of self-appointed greatness the rest of the
1999 season, which culminated in a
spectacular performance, in which he directed the Broncos
to exactly SIX points in the final game...at home, no less. I gave him the
benfit of the doubt and thought perhaps a season of ass whuppings and
scrutiny would imply to this brainiac that MAYBE he should shut up.
No luck. I watch one of the early "training camp reports" after the news
one night. You know the kind.. some hack sports reporter reports
on how many practices the team had, then they profile some rookie
from Mudflap College, a Division 6 school.. complete with
sappy piano music, or upbeat Matchbox 20-ish crap in the
background. Anyways, I was watching one of these around the first week
of August. The Broncos had been in camp maybe a week. The sports hack
interviews Griese... the question: "Do you think you're getting
better". To which Sega Boy replies, "Oh yeah, I KNOW I'm getting
better..."
The ass whuppings will continue until morale improves.
Ten days of camp, with three of those in pads...and you're "better"?
GAME RECAP- August 13 vs. Packers. W 26-20
Seeing how Matt Hasselbeck moved the Packers through
Denver's secondary, made me cringe when thinking of the
first regular season game- against the Rams. The Rams, as you may
know, like to throw the damn thing....||| ... People
will say Griese had
good numbers, but Ed McCaffrey is responsible for a large portion
of that. Griese hit Ed with a quick slant on the first play, which
Ed promptly turned into a 60 yd. dash... ||| ...Travis Mc Griff had a good game
and didn't miss much. I didn't get a chance to critique his blocking.
... ||| ... Griese again showed his lack of field vision, as he bascially
backed into a Packers lineman on one occasion... ||| ... Is Andre
Reed still on the roster? He caught a TD last week, but he doesn't
seem to be getting a good look at the position. They kept
throwing to McGriff and Andre Cooper for most of the second half. Between
evaluating young guys and the imminnent siging of Robert Brooks, it
looks like Reed may not get in much work... ||| ... Same
can be said for Lester Archambeau, who does not show up on the TV, much
... ||| ... Cooper and a few Packers d-backs seemed to have
an issue in the third quarter, regarding the endzone boundaries. There
were two sets of lines. One for the football field, and one
for the FREAKING SOCCER FIELD. Please eliminate any trace of this
communist abomination on a football field!! Now.... ||| ...
Wasn't into this game much, as I kept switching over the
Encore Action Channel to watch Armageddon.
FINAL CUTS
The Broncos website this year sucks. Too much damn Flash
gibberish and it takes forever to load. And get this, if
you want to download a photo, they supply it in
BITMAP (.BMP) format!! Haven't seen that on the web since
1995... ||| ... I know it's
only a preseason game, but did ya like the way Fox kept
cramming that "Matt Millen as a referee" story down our
throats? As if this is huge news? ...||| ... It's
only August and I'm already sick of these studio hosts telling
us how it was "back when I played against this guy" or "back
when I played". Notice it's always the shitty former players
who do this? Cris Collinsworth is the bigest pimp for his own
shitty career. Sorry, nimrod, your sucked when you played and
your endless embellishment does not make
said career more relevant ... ||| ... Another football movie
marketed towards guys is trying to cash in on our annual
football fevor. This year, it's "Ted" Reeves and Gene Hackman
doing somehting called "The Replacements". Big deal, but it's
got that little nugget Brooke Langton as a cheerleader, so I'm sure
I'll see it. She's got this bitchy attitude that just begs ya to
straighten her out and play horsey with her. ... ||| ...
My favorite New Scrub Who I Want to Make the Final Cut: 27 year
old rookie runningback Mike Anderson of the Broncos.
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