November 5th- Someone who makes alot more money than me once said "it's better to be
lucky than good". Despite blowing a 17-0 lead, the Donkies held off the Jets to make like
Snake Plissken and escape from New York. New York's been having too much fun lately, anyhoo...they
can't win EVERY professional game.
How else do you explain Vinny Testaverde reverting to his old Tampa Bay Bucs form of
1987-1992? Luck. Here's a guy who's been playing like he's made a deal with Satan, ever since
he's come to New York. He gets FOUR chances to tie the game from about the two yard line.. and
fails? Luck. Earlier in the game, Brian Griese throws a 3rd down duck, which Byron Chamberlain
adjusts to and makes a first down. That's Luck, again. Griese finds a "WIDE OPEN" Ed McCaffrey
for the game clinching score midway throw the game? Luck. Grise survives New Yoak without getting
sloshed and has a decent game? Luck.
He's still a hypocritical, egotistical drunken bastard... I know you were wondering. But
I'm getting sick of whipping this horse. I'll be fair... he's supposedly "put this behind
him"... I'll put my nasty criticisms behind me too. Until he screws up again. Look for the
snide remarks to return next week.
Shanahan certainly susbtituted freely this week.
Detron Smith, Mike Anderson, Travis McGriff, Robert Brooks, Harald Hasselbach and
Mike Lodish were all seen a little more than usual. Congratulations to McGriff who actually made
a significant catch. I'd feel sorry for him if he went all year with only a garbage TD grab
against the Patriots to his credit. Plus, Kenoy Kennedy got a litle mojo going and
picked off an pass on the first defensive series of his career. CBS was airing a
"Jackie Bouvier Kennedy Onassis" mini-series after the game..so I'm sure some of that
Kennedy mojo passed down to our bud, Kenoy.
Biggest news was the return of Terrell Davis to the fold. I wanted to do one of those
quote intros that I've been big on, lately. I wanted to start off this column with the words
to the Welcome Back Kotter theme song. Y'know.. "Welcome back..to that same old place that
we've laughed about. Well the names they've all changed since you've hung around.." I realized halfway
through that idea, that I don't know all the words. Dang. SOME of it is appropriate. Indeed, the
names HAVE all changed since Terrell's hung around. Yeah, we HAVE all laughed about this
place called the Denver Donkies since Terrell's hung around. Isn't there a line to the tune of
"Ohh, who'd thought we see ya... back here where we need ya"? And yes, I do tease him alot,
cuz I've got him on the spot, but welcome back. To emulate Mr Kotter: "Did I ever tell
you the story of the all-pro runningback who disappeared after winning two Super Bowls?"
So, if Terrell's Mr Kotter...then does that make Mike Anderson Barbarino? Griese would be
Horshack? I don't know... just throwing this out. You guys make the connections and then e-mail me,
por favor.
Damn good to have him back. I even permitted myself a mark-out moment, when he scored his
first TD in the second. As I'm finishing off the last of my cheeseball, Terrell darts into the
endzone and salutes. I forgot how good that felt.
I chalked this game up as a loss at the beginning of the year. So, I guess this
balances out at least one of the games I saw as a win... either Cincinnati or
New England. This team needs to run a 5-2 record the rest of the season. But they've
been resembling the Incredible Hulk this year. In Oakland, New York and
maybe (and this is a stretch) against Cleveland and St Louis, they've resembled
the aggressive "HULK SMASH" persona. Then, against Kansas City, New England, Cincinnati and
San Diego, they've resembled "PUNY BANNER"... Banner meaning Bruce Banner, the Hulk's
wimpy alter ego. Hey, my Hulk metaphor is ALOT cooler than the typical sports hack
references to "sybil" or "jekyll and hyde".
Oh yeah...almost forgot.. the Ray-duhs are here next week!! Okay, all I have to say
after reluctantly visiting Oakland two weeks back is this: the stigma you've heard about
Oakland and their fans... it's true, it's true! I felt like I was on the set of "OZ". Or, even
scarier, the 1995 HBO documentary that featured the infamous TOSSED SALAD MAN. The walkway to
the stadium is set up just like a prison walkway. All fenced off and everything. As soon as
I got out of the train, some freak behind be bellowed out: "Rayyyyyy-duhhhs". This
then picked up steam and echoed acrossed the area, as every other fan joined in. It reminded me,
somewhat, of that little dude with the beer bottles in "The Warriors". "Wooooooyyyy-ers...
come out and play-ayyyyyyy". "I too, have heard
stories of the Raider fans..but I thought they were only to frighten little children...."
And that was just the women....
FINAL CUTS
Even the presence of Joe Willie Namath on the sideline didn't help the Jets' luck.
I was too young to remember seeing Joe Willie play, but it always makes me
chuckle whenever I see him pop up ... ||| ... Jets uber-fan Fireman George? Is that his name?
Beats the shit out some fat dude in a cowboy hat and a freaking barrel!...
|| ... Kinda nifty, but when the Jets scored before halftime, I could actually hear
fans yelling out that "J-E-T-S..Jets!Jets!Jets!". Probably the first time I've heard that
during a game, and not on some highlight show... || ...
After seeing those player introduction on MNF for the past few weeks, I am
proud to announce that I attended THE Metropolitan State College of Denver, and
previously, THE Colorado State University ...|||
...Pay attention whenever CBS's studio hosts do one of those
quick halftime highlight rundowns. Ditka is STILL shooting jabs at Harbaugh! ... ||| ...
Steve Russ got drafted by the XFL? That's not a shot at him, I'm just surprised that he's not on
anybody's NFL roster.
