NEWS
EStragand.com Finishes Second in Halloween Costume Contest- More Cleavage and Ass for Next Year
Denver- October 31, 2001- The EStragand Corporation
held a press conference today to recap their recent adventure into
the Halloween costume arena.
The PR lackey informed the crowd: "We here at eStraagnd.com are pleased to announce
a relatively successful venture with last weekeend's Halloween. The Official
eStragand 2001 Halloween Outfit was more than a medicore success and allowed us to
finish second in the best costume category, among other drunks and nerds".
Several weeks ago, the Official 2001 eStragand.com Halloween Costume was
debated, and "Green Arrow" was the consensus decision. "Special thanks go
to Mama Stragand" interjected the PR lackey, who quickly departed the conference to
tee-pee his neighbor's house.
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ES and Cool Dave talk about gymnasiums and gladiator movies. |
The costume decision was based on numerous factors. First, was the overall
coolness of Green Arrow. "Like me, Green Arrow is a dick, and has facial hair", said the
eStragand.com CMFO. "So that made the decision easy. Plus, the current
Kevin Smith (Silent Bob) rendition of Green Arrow has been decent, and
has made for several enjoyable readings while on the pot." DC Comics'
current run of the monthly comic "Green Arrow" has been a favorite around the
eStragand.com offices. With five or six variations of
Green Arrow, existing since 1940, the decision was then made to pursue the
current Green Arrow outfit-- an outfit which saw its debut in the 1970's,
designed by comic legend Neal Adams. "All the other versions of
Green Arrow looked like fricking Robin Hood. The 70's costume is
pretty distinguishable and even had a Super Powers action figure".
The search then began for suitable material for the costume.
Savers Thrift Store and Cloth World in Littleton, were
helpful in locating the fatigues and archer's hat, respectively.
The backpack and trick arrows were constructed from old Xerox
paper boxes. The mask and hat were cut from felt, and
the shirt was an amalgamation of two green garments and
"chic shoulderpads". The remnants of the shirt were used to make
Green Arrow's distinctive arm bands and wrist protectors.
Long-time support GStragand even pitched in by donating use of his
compound bow. "You break it, and I fucking kill you" said GStragand.
GStragand was unavailable for comment when someone mentioned that he hadn't used
the bow since trying to kill a skunk in 1985.
Last minute participation in a day-long softball tournament meant that
the original plan of dyeing facial hair blonde would have to pass.
"Yeah, it seemed like a better idea to, I dunno, do some sort of physical
activity all day Saturday... instead of dyeing my hair" said the CMFO.
"The only drawback is that I caught behind the plate all five games, and my
ass is on fire". The time crunch also precluded me from finding a boxing glove,
to make Green Arrow's Boxing Glove Arrow. Still made a Boomerang Arrow, though".
With the first successful costume construction since 1987's "Gumby",
the Official 2001 eStragand Halloween Costume made its debut on
Saturday night, 10/27/01, at the home of gracious host Cool Dave.
After spending roughly
4 hours explaing that it was "not a fucking Robin Hood costume",
the costume was generally accepted and applauded.
The exceptional craftsmanship and detail of the costume helped
to garner second place in a "best costume" contest. "Yeah, we tied for first, with
a Britney Spears/ naughty school girl costume. Then we had a tiebreaker run-off and I came in second.
I guess this means that next year I'll have to show my ass and cleavage."
A final positive note arrived on Tuesday, while conversing with the
Offical eStragand.com Main Squeeze...who mentioned that next year,
she'll volunteer to go as Green Arrow's longtime girlfriend and partner, Black Canary.
(nerds know WHY this is interesting)
Upon conclusion of the press conference, the crowd was overwhelming apathetic at
this latest annoucement from eStragand.com. Colorado Governor Bill Owens was on hand to commment on
the events of the conference: "This proves that Colorado is a
dynamic, interactive and exciting state, with generally nice weather".
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