NEWS-(MAIN PAGE)
EStragand Corporation Set to Leave State - House Arrest Period Ends
Denver- October 13, 2000- The EStragand Corporation held a news conference
today to annouce plans for their long-awaited departure from Colorado/ vacation.
"This gives us a chance to leave the facilities, spend money, stay at a hotel and
do general vacation type stuff" announced the Estragand Corporation's PR lackey.
The PR lackey then exited the news conference to attend a court summons.
The enigmatic EStragand CMFO continued the conference. "For about 15 years, I've
wanted to take the company on Amtrak's California Zephyr train route to San
Francisco. The original plan was to hopefully catch the World Series in either Oakland or
San Francisco, but the Yankees and Mets certainly screwed things up. As it stands,
I hope to catch a Raiders home game, eat fish, scrounge the local comic shops,
hang out with some associates and basically screw around for four days". He then
continued, "This is the first true hassle free vacation I've arranged in five
years", citing the successful 1995 jaunt to San Diego. Further suggestions on
what to do in San Francisco for four days" are
encouraged from the public.
It should also be noted that the current vacation plans slightly affect the
2000 Halloween/Spinal Tap Gathering. "When this came up, I analyzed all
probable outlets and decided it would in the public, and company's, best
interests to simply move the Gathering to Saturday, October 28".
Official departure dates are October 20th at 8:43 am, returning at October 27th at
8:00 pm. A two-day transit period is scheduled for each day. "I figure I can
safely mingle with people for those two days", said the CMFO. "Wait... two days
EACH way?... Shit, I'd better brush up on my bad jokes and funny remarks."
The EStragand Corporation also recently acquired a portable CD player to help pass the
time on the transit. Plans also include the innovative use of a conventional
camera to take pictures, finish reading "Maximum Bob", playing Travel Battleship, or
searching for Hot Chix on the train. "The main reason I'm going, is to
simply kick back and enjoy the ride. I've been from Denver to Chicago on this line, but
I've always heard Denver to California is the best part".
At the conclusion of the press conference, attendee and Colorado Governor Bill Owens was
asked to comment. "This proves that Colorado is a
dynamic, interactive and exciting state, with generally nice weather", said Owens. An
annonymous party threatened to strike Owens upside the head with a coal shovel, but such
merriment was avoided. As usual, the caterers impressed. A nice sculpture of a rhino, made
out of Jell-o was considered a highlight.
