NEWS
eStragand Corporation Announces New Mascot/Diretor of Security
New terrier pleased to be on board the eStragand team
Denver- October 1, 2002- The eStragand Corporation
held a press conference today to announce their new mascot and
Director of Security. "We are extremely ecstatic to announce
that after months of searching and interviewing, we have found the perfect pooch
for the job" said the eStragand PR lackey. The PR lackey then departed the
conference before his car could be towed from the handicap parking spot.
 |
| Ace patrols the
complex.
|
Ace, an 18 lbs male terrier mix comes to the eStragand Corporation
from the
Denver Dumb Friends' League,
with almost three full months of canine experience. He has an extensive
background in sleeping, biting, peeing and eating peanut butter. To
ease the transition, Ace has been given a new port-a-kennel office,
a stuffed hedgehog, a rope bone, a squeaky football, a tennis ball and a frisbee.
As part of his new responsibilty, Ace is also the new Director of Security.
This position requires Ace to patrol the ground of the eStragand Complex
to alert of any possible security hazards. The position has been open since
1997. Ace's predecessor, Doodle, received high marks for defending the office from
a burglar in 1984.
The eStragand Corporation is confident that Ace will adequately
handle the tasks confronted with.
Ace was officially born on 6/27/02. He is primarily tan, with black, white and gray highlights.
His name comes from several influences important to the eStragand staff. "Ace" refers
to Ace the Bathound (Batman's dog. the comic connection), Ace Frehley of KISS
(the music connection), the "ace" of a pitching staff (baseball connection),
NFL Hall of Famer Ace Parker (the football connection) and Ace the
fighter pilot from Gi Joe (the immature/cartoon connection). His middle name is
even rumored to be "Simon", as in "Simon Fletcher".
Before he could join the eStragand Corporation, he made Bob Barker proud
by having his twig and berries "fixed".
The eStragand Corporation assured the audience that this is NOT standard procedure for
joining the team.
The conference concluded with the eStragand Corporation urging everyone in attendance to
adopt a dog. Their were six finalists for the mascot/Director of Security position,
and we're happy to announce that the other five all found good positions before the
week was over. Lazy bastards can even click
HERE to see the current list of animals
available at the Denver Dumb Friends League.
Upon conclusion of the press conference, Colorado Governor Bill Owens was on hand to
commment on this latest development: "This proves that Colorado is a
dynamic, interactive and exciting state, with generally nice weather" proclaimed the
gov.
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