NEWS
EStragand.com Returns- Parties Responsible for Website Outage Bludgeoned
Denver- January 17, 2002- The EStragand Corporation
held a press conference today, to announce the return of their
website. "We here at eStragand.com are marginally pleased to
announce the return of our crappy website. We apologize for the outage
during the early weeks of 2002 and promise to do our best to blame this on
the economy", announced the eStragand PR lackey.
During the first two weeks of 2002, the official eStragand.com server
went under, due to unknown circumstances. www.estragand.com was unavailable for
several days. Not coincedentally, the country of Argentina plummeted
into further economic disarray.
"The outage caused many dry eyes arond the country, as dozens missed out
on all the 2001 Year End eStragand crap that was set to premiere
during the first few weeks of 2002. However, we do find solace in the ability
to recycle this same, aformentioned crap for new year and, then, suddenly call it NEW".
The Year End crap was set to include the 2001 eStragand.com
Denver Broncos Year End Awards, a flimsy press release detaiing the
announcement of the NEW estragand.com AOL keyword ("KEYWORD:estragand.com"!...omit the
exclamation point, dumbass), and maybe a half-hearted
"holiday" announcement. Additionally, two installments of the weekly COMICS articles of
the "Weekly Crap ReCap" were lost.
The much promoted Denver Broncos Year End Awards was perhaps the biggest dissapointment.
However, executives at the eStragand corporation were able to re-shuffle their
busy schedule and look to debut the Awards early next week (1/21).
"We definitely look to address the Denver Bronco Awards as our top priority
this week" stated the PR lackey. Broncos coach Mike Shanahan could not be recached for comment.
As 2002 begins, the eStragand Corporation will continue in their never ending
endeavor to deliver the
latest news, bad jokes and dumb stuff. "We deeply apologize to all
8 readers of the site for the disruption. It reflects badly on our
company, and you can believe that the admin assholes in sweatpants and
ball caps wil be bludgeoned severely. However, we feel renewed
and have re-committed ourselves to the delivering the quality
crappola you deserve. This is kind of like the Elvis comeback special.
Only, we're not singing, this isn't the late 60's,, we'renot on TV,
we're not Elvis, and Elvis never had a bad ass website! But it's just like that."
The eStragand Admin Asshole could not be
contacted, as he was busy trying to install a lightbulb into a
Coleman stove. The PR lackey then left, once again referring to the
beeping, plastic anklet on his leg.
Upon conclusion of the press conference, the crowd was overwhelmingly apathetic at
this latest annoucement from eStragand.com. Colorado Governor Bill Owens was on hand to commment on the relaunch: "This proves that Colorado is a
dynamic, interactive and exciting state, with generally nice weather".
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