NEWS
EStragand Corporation Switches Primary Mode of Transportation - MOPAR rules
Denver- January 02, 2001- After three years of utilizing a
1998 Chevorolet Blazer as the Official Primary Mode of Transportation, the
EStragand Corporation announced the unveiling of their new vehicle- a
2001 Dodge Dakota Quad Cab.
"We are very pleased to begin this partnership with the Chrysler Corporation and
look for many miles of superior firepower, thanks to the 4.7 liter V8 engine." stated
the EStrgand Corporation PR Lackey. He then detailed the length of the
partnership, citing the official re-evaluation date as March, 2004. "At that time,
we will re-evaluate our partnership with Chrysler and assess all
possible avenues". In March 2004, the initial 39 month lease will expire, with further
options for ownership or residual returns. "Some say lease... we say partnership, here
at the EStragand Corporation" continued the PR lackey, who then left to visit
underprivledged strippers at the Diamond Cabaret.
The new Dakota includes all the typical EStragand Corporation luxuries that the public
has come to know and love. Power windows, overdrive, power mirrors, switch button
four wheel drive, silver/pewter paint coat and a bad ass engine. Now with four
FULL doors, the Estragand Corporation plans to initiate several additional
lunch outings with co-workers. With the Dakota Quad Cab, multiple lunch guests will
not be a problem, anymore.
One stipulation of the partnership involved acquiring an Eclipse in-dash CD
player. Due to the massive crap output of Denver radio, the EStragand Coporation's
only options were (choke) Clear Channel radio stations or old tapes. "We only
have old mix tapes from 1994, a few old DRI tapes and a broken psuedo- Best of
Anthrax tape". Thus, the Corporation was forced to enter into the Eclipse acquisition.
Citing the relatively low cost of burning custom CD's and stealing, errr... downloading
stuff from various Internet outlets, the Eclipse acquistion was a no-brainer.
The former Primary Method of Transportation was deposited at its initial place of
acquistion, in Littleton. License plates were almost left with it, too.
Look for future updates on the status of the new Dodge Dakota/Chrysler Corporation
partnership, here at estragand.com throughout the next several months. A long, healthy
and exciting realtionship is in the works.
At the conclusion of the press conference, attendee and Colorado Governor Bill Owens shared
the following oral gem: "This proves that Colorado is a
dynamic, interactive and exciting state, with generally nice weather". A moist towlette
on a paper plate threatened to steal Owens' thunder.
