Woe to You....

Aug 30- Morrison, Colo- Longtime followers of my adventures will know that I'm a pretty big Iron Maiden freak. Ever since I saw "Run to the Hills" on Channel 12's Teletunes, on a Sunday morning in 1982, I've been into them. Iron Maiden was also the first band I saw in concert. Just like your first girlfriend, Maiden has a special connection for me. There was the massive dry spell, though, from 1995-1999. Crappy albums like "X Factor" and "Virtual XI", combined with the departure of Bruce Dickinson and Adrian Smith had taken away my enthusiasm for the band. Out of curiousity and nostalgia, I got tickets for their semi-reunion tour, last Summer. Hearing the band rip out their classics and seeing Bruce back out there, and Steve Harris putting his foot up on the speakers... I felt like I was 14 again. That show rekindled my enthusiasm for the band and sent me on a year long Maiden binge. Add in my new interest in the Mp3 phenomenon and I was happier than a pervert in a video store run by 17 year old cheerleaders. In the past year, I've picked up all sorts of rare cuts, b-sides, live tracks and interesting facts about Maiden. Needless to say, I was really anticipating this show.

Oh, I almost forgot... Maiden released a new album in May 2000. Remember that fact... it becomes significant, later on.

There are certain advantages and disadvantages to seeing a show at Red Rocks. Most of the time, it seems to rain. But, as was the case last night, the rain blew us over, leaving only some really freaking cool lightning out on the plains. If you've been to Red Rocks, you know what I'm babbling about: you can see almost all the way out to Kansas. Occassionally, the lightning would coincedentally strike, right in time with the music. Only adds to the effect of the show and beat the hell out of the conventional lighting.

Before the show and between sets, we played a new game: "Count the Mullet". First one to hit 20 gets a beer from the other guy. We lost track after 16... the Mullet-o-meter was on overload.

Rob Halford (he of Judas Priest and Gay Pride Parade fame), opened the show with his new band. Since nobody would give a damn about anybody else in the band, the band's name is, appropriately, "Halford". Rob himself still sounds like he's 28. He doesn't move alot, primarily due to the fatc that he puts his entire ASS into his vocals. Very rarely does a crowd freak out when a singer hits a high note (well, unless yer into the crowd at Mariah Carey concerts), but that was the case last night. Rob would let out one of his characteristic Shreeeeeeeeeks.. and the crowd was loving it! They even hit five old Priest tunes: "Stained Class", "Hellion/Electric Eye", "Riding on the Wind", "Breaking the Law", and ended their set with "Tyrant". It really doesn't matter what Judas Priest is doing, nowadays.. because Rob was THE signature sound of Judas Priest (sorry, KK and Glenn).

I think there was a second opening act. Queen, or something. I kept waiting for them to bust out with "FLASH!!! ahhh-ahhhhhh! Savior of the Universe!" They had some song called "There's a Restroom Calling", which is exactly where I went during this set. Whatever... you can't polish a turd, Beavis.

Lights went out... idiots scream... lighters go up... people light up...some Conan-ish music starts up. More screaming. Hey, we see Nicko McBrain walk out. Then, Adrian Smith casually walks out, playing the opening lines of "Wicker Man". The traditional pyro hits and the other guys hit the stage. I freak out and holler "Bruuuce!!!" when Dickinson hits the stage, bouncing off speakers and trapsing over the various catwalks. Okay, this is working for me.

They follow it up with two more songs from their new album: "Ghost of the Navigator" and "Brave New World". Okay.. that's fine. They mix in Wrathchild, and I realize that they're playing the exact same set list I've read about on all the Maiden fan sites. Heck, if you want to, you can search on Napster or Scour for "Iron Maiden" and "Dynamo 2000" and you've got the same show. Bruce stops between a song and thanks the crowd and mentions how they're "up on stage for the fans". Okay.. I'm feeling allright.

A few songs later... and as expected, most from the new album. Then, Bruce breaks into a monologue about the long running controversy over metal music (including a humorous take on Ozzy's "What is this.. thats stands before meeee?"). The low point of the show follows: Bruce mentions "We're not here to re-live your childhood, we're not here to re-live our childhood" and basically says that they're going to play these "epic" new songs and dont' really wanna play their old stuff. Okay, so I guess you're not "up on stage for the fans", huh?? Talk about contradicting yourself. Lots of boos rained down after this. Bruce says "here's two songs some of you may know..and most of you may not know". I'm thinking: cool... "Women in Uniform" and "Reach Out"!!! They then went off into "Dream of Mirrors". Well, there's 12 minutes of my life I'll never get back. They brought me back with their version of Braveheart, "The Clansman", but I was feeling a bit iffed by now.

Sure, that's expected that you'll want to play your new songs, but don't try to ram it down my throat and tell me that the old stuff is crap! And dont' proceed to play 70% of this new album!!! Yeah, I've to FIVE previous Maiden shows, and they did NOT play 70% of whatever album they were promoting that year (excpetion being Ed Hunter, which was supposed to be a greatest hits type of show)!!! Great, so I'm sitting there listening to a band with a chip on their shoulders.

The show ended after that, with "Iron Maiden". I was sitting about halfway up the amphitheatre, so I couldn't see the top of the big Wicker Man prop that came up behind the drumkit. It featured some decent pyro in front, and Bruce cavorting with a buncha virgins, inside. Kinda neat. I was a bit bummed that it was up during the whole song. Typically, they play the song without the giant Eddie prop, until the bass solo. Then, as Dave Murray launches into the songs trademark riff, the giant Eddie prop would rise up. I always liked this because it seemed to me that they were "summoning" Eddie. As if that bass and guitar riff were the secret code that made Eddie rise from behind the stage. We were hoping the band would return for a second encore, to play "Run to the Hills". We figured that since Denver is a cowtown and in the West, that it'd be a possibility..but no luck.

A couple of other obsevations throughout the show. Janick Gers is absolutely wrecthed! I really hope he's performing sexual favors to someone in the band..at lest that way SOMEBODY is benefitting from his presence. This guy needs to leave the band, so he can go back to some dank warehouse in England and do his lame ass calestenics with his guitar. Seeing some twit dance around like Jon Bon Jovi with a guitar is NOT cool (trust me, I looked it up in the "Rules of Metal"). Oooo.. you can stretch your legs on an amp, swing your guitar, courch down and bend it over your head. I mean, this dork was skipping... SKIPPING for shit's sake... on stage, to "The Trooper". That's a really awesome tune .. .but it's NEVER encouraged me to start SKIPPING!!! He even tried to do a solo during "Sanctuary"... so he just ran his pick down his strings. Crap, that's a feat worthy of the lead guitarist from RATT... and we all know how cool RATT was!

Steve Harris looked a bit like Angus Young, decked out in a soccer jersey and shorts. He even shed his bass for an acoustic Ovation one, during "Clansman". Dude kept running from end to end of stage, always pausing to mouth along the lyrics and put his foot on the speakers!

Red Rocks also has two castle-looking structures on each side of the stage. This added a certain medieval aspect to the band's set. Especially when Bruce started climbing all over them. I was impressed, simply because I live at this altitude and I know I would be winded doing the stuff he did. Then, he'd walk back to center stage and hit all his high notes. This guy is amazing. He would disappear during instrumental sets, no doubt to get oxygen. I never liked anything on "X Factor", but the one song they did play from that album, "Sign of the Cross", seemed to be legitimatized by having Bruce sing it. Bruce even rose up, crucified during the intro to that song. My brother turned to me and said "hey it's Bruce! Doing something worthy of Ozzy!"

As we were leaving, there seemed to be a certain air of disappointment to the crowd. One guy I bumped into was bitching that "Only 7 classics were played.. that sucks!". Overall, my assessment would be a "C". A few classic Maiden staples to make ya horny, but not enough to give you an orgasm. I feel that a sub-par Maiden show is still better than your typical hard rock show. I put that theory to the test last night.