Fishbone (is luke warm)

Feb 26,2002 - Englewood, Colo I'll admit that I'm not the biggest Fishbone fan in my hemisphere. I got into the band in my final high school years, but never really became fanatical about them. About 4 years ago, I managed to pick up "Fishbone 101: Nutrasaurusmegg", which reads like a "greatest hits" album. For those 4 years that CD has never left my changer. It seems like Fishbone pops up every six months or so, playing at smaller venues throughout Colorado. Small, unpredictable places... I remember seeing them advertised at Fort Ram, my freshman year at CSU. They're like the seminal college band that's stuck in a time warp. Another time I was walking home from a Rockies game and saw them listed at the "LoDo Music Hall". I'd see them on the marquee and think : "hey, I should see those guys. Ehhh, I'm busy. I think I'll pass, and catch 'em next time". Finally, on a sub-freezing Tuesday night, I decided I should finally break down and catch them.

This show was staged at the Gothic Theater, just south of Denver proper. It's another of those old movie theaters/ porn houses that's been re-tooled to a music venue. The Gothic's biggest claim to fame was that it housed "MTV's Headbangers' Ball New Years' Eve With Slayer!!!"...I think that was in 1990/1991. The first re-tooling occurred in the late 80's and lasted until roughly 1994. The promoters hopped over to the Bluebird, Mammoth/Paramount, or the Ogden theater, and the Gothic was left to rot. Sort of a bummer, because it was easy to get to and wasn't in THAT skanky of a neighborhood. About two years ago, someone opened it up again, featuring mostly lame bar rock or jazz acts.

I heard "doors open at 8:00"...so I arrived at roughly 8:15. I've been to a few shows like that, and there's some stipulation that they can't start selling tickets until the music starts...so I figured I'd be on time. Note : "doors open at 8:00" means "show starts at 9:00". Dang, I could have checked out the Wal-Mart, three blocks away. Sort of a weird atmosphere in the Gothic. I've been there in its previous incarnations, when it was a simple concert hall: balcony and a wide-open fllor. Now, the balcony's been extended along the sides, complete with ornate railing, table, chairs and bar stools. The floor's been reduced to about 1/2 of the old configuration, with the rest being taken up by more chairs and cocktail tables. Whoa...I can't remember the last time I was actually able to SIT through a whole concert. I get my obligatory beer and take a seat about 50 feet from the stage. I wait, uncomfortably, for 40 minutes until the opening acts start. It was about 2 degress outside, and a shrill draft kept blowing in, every two minute. Most of the crowd at this point was older folks...in their late 30's. A few college kids plopped down in front of me, including a chic who looked like Lex Luger.

However I wasn't completely bored. After 5 minutes or so, two dorky "badasses" with crewcuts walk in and sit next to me. These guys are wearing leather jackets, have earrings, about 32, call each other "dude" alot and think Pantera is the shit. They probably work for Qwest and drive Nissans. They walk in: "dude, there's like, chairs and shit". Their wild night out has just gotten significantly less wild.

The opening band finally creeps out. Good, I was getting sick of nursing my beer, staring at the ceiling and trying to spot any concert sluts. These guys were kinda fun, and from what I gather they're the 'Bobby Collins Death Metal Armada'. A three piece, with all members decked out in space suits that make they look like human baked potatoes. (Guys next to me: "It's Devo! Whip it, you fags!") Guitarist/voclaist/keyboardist, bass player and drummer. Don't go out to see these guys expecting to hear Entombed or Six Feet Under. They're into what I call "nerd rock". Dorky stuff like Devo, or even the Presidents of the United States of America. They even opened with a cover of Kermit the Frog's signature tune: "the Rainbow Connection". The singer even asked "okay Denv..umm, Englewood.. are you...uh. ready to ROCK?" (Guys: "You Suck!" and they held their middle fingers up the whole time). They even had covers of Devo's "Good Thing" and Ghetto Boys' "Damn it Feels Good to be a Gangsta". These guys are apparently a local band, and I really wouldn't mind seeing them again. I was even tempted to sign up for their mailing list, but my bladder made me forget. They had one song that the singer wanted to "dedicate to all the sexay lay-days..." (Guys: "Yeah, your mom, FAG!") The song then busted in with: "Are you Ready for the Sex Pills!?!!" (Or maybe it was "sex films") Tongue-in-cheek humor stuff, but the guys next to me did NOT get the joke. But they did manage to high-five each other after each "FAG" heckle.

So I figured Fishbone would be out next. I run to take a leak and have to cut it off, mid-stream when I hear music start up. I hurry back to my chair, and I see a bunch of dorky kids on the stage. I figure they're the roadies, out there to tune Fishbone's intstruments. Nope, these losers were an actual BAND. And a crappy one at that. They had two things against them, right there: 1- they're a crappy band and 2- I had to cut off my piss for this shit. A five piece, with a singer/guitarist, bassist, tumpet, sax and drummer. With that set up, I can see how they landed this gig and I figure my punishment will be over soon. Nope, these guys were SERIOUS about their "are you ready to ROCK" shouts. The first band was JOKING when they said that...these dumbfucks really thought that they, in fact, did ROCK. The drummer would yell, off-key, during the songs. Stupid 19 year old shit like "woooo! I can't hear you out there!! Where's my beer?!" The singer/geetarist looked like Magilla Gorilla with glasses and wanted to know "yo! Where's all the punk rockers in the house??!! Yeah, woooo!" (Guys: "Yeahhhh! Right here, baby!! Woooo!") They even stopped to explain the meaning behind their song "I'm so much cooler than yer boyfriend". "See, it's like...when you, like, meet a girl and shit...and uh, you know, she's all hot and that. But then you meet her boyfriend, ya'know... and he's like a dick. yeah..he's like...an asshole! That's what this song is about". Thank you for the brilliant play-by-play analysis of your in depth poety, Aristotle. The next eight minutes of my life were wasted as Magilla shouted :"I'm so much cooler than him.. cuz I gets my funky on the floor". Cuz you gets your...funky? That's it, I'm outta here...I had to physically restrain my arm from tossing my beer bottle at these jackasses. Everytime the singer would stop and talk to the crowd, I started shouting "What?", like Steve Austin, to amuse myself. Aside from amusing myself, this had an additional bonus- the guys next to me thought I was insane and left. The guys liked these jackasses, though. I wont dignify these crap popsicles by actually mentioning their band's NAME..but they are a local band and our paths may cross again....

At this point, I'm about ready to pack it in and head home. Fishbone finally makes it out.. all four of them. What? I thought Fishbone had about 12 members in it. Well there's that Angelo guy, with his saxophone and...what the HELL is that noisemaker thing he's playing with? I couldn't figure it out- it's some sort of antenna/amplifier thing and seemed to operate on hand motions. Angelo's wearing a brown suit and an orange Charlie Brown type of wool cap. He rambles off on a staccato political rant. There's the bassist guy, I recognize him- Norwood Fisher, I think. He's wearing some sort of black kung fu outfit and has one big ass dreadlock- sticking out from the front of his shaved head, like a big antenna. I flashback to a Beavis and Butthead remark: "He looks like a Seminiferous Tubloidial Butt Noid!". Oh good, they have FIVE guys, there's the deep vocal guy- Walter Kibby II, decked out in a soccer jersey. I thought the guitarist was their regular/old guy, John Bigham. He looked like him and SOUNDED like him.. but I checked around the next day and found out that the guitarist is named; "Spacey T"? Maybe he changed his name or something? I'm not sure about the drummer. He's a big guy named John Steward, but I couldn't tell you how long he's been with the band. I notice that they're without a keyboard player, but I don't miss that at all. (ed: apparently they've been without one since 1996, ES!)

Fishbone then blasted through about 8 or 9 Songs That I Don't Know. Most were probably from their albums :"Psychotic Friends Nuttwerk" or "Chim Chim's BadAss Revenge". But all at incredibly high volume and a breakneck pace. The music just seemed to mush together and all the songs were indistinguishable. Fisher's bass was absolutley thunderous. My pant legs were shaking, it was so intense. His hand was thumping the strings so fast, that it was a blur. I was amazed at how many sounds "Spacey T" could produce out of this guitar. I always thought Fishbone was primarily horns and keyboards...but these two guys definitely carried the band's sound the whole night.

The dueling vocalist effect really fleshed out the sound, with Walter Kibby II providing many of the harmonies that disappeared with the keyboard absence. Kinda cheap, but it was okay. Angelo Moore would trade off for several saxophones, that Weird Ass Noisemaker thing and bongos. He even played the inside of a small drum...I'm not sure how, but he played it. Kibby would trade off with his trumpet, and of the two vocalists, I think I prefer him.

The band rarely stopped for more than 40 seconds, just rumbling along on a non-stop tear. The first half of the set was pretty heavy and really....rocked. The only recognizable songs in this portion (to me at least) were "Ma n' Pa" and "Alcoholic". Another standout was a newer song called "In the Heat of Anger". T even went off on a Funkadelic guitar tribute and another medley featuring Hendrix riffs. He did the familiar intro to "Voodoo Chile". When he switched, the crowd let out a collective "awwww". The second half of their set was seeded with more of their recognizable/famous hits. Stuff like "Bonin in the Boneyard", "U-G-L-Y" and they concluded with "Sunless Saturday". During the chorus of "Boneyard", I thought to myself : "Dang, these guys are like the Fat Albert and the Cosby Kids band, come to life". Probably a little rascist, but seeing a couple guys bouncing around in wacky costumes and playing cartoon music.. well, I half expected to see Fat Albert up there, playing his heat radiator bass. Close your eyes and listen to the "yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeahhhhhhh" portion of "Bonin in the Boneyard", and tell me that it doesn't make you think of the Cosby Kids. I can just visualize these guys jumping around, playing music and having a good time. That's not a bad thing, it's makes me smile with a great feeling of energy and spontaneity.

They came out for an encore set, to do a poem about Cannibus (hmm..maybe that's why you're in your mid-30s and playing to small crowds), and then launched into "Party at Ground Zero". A much, much heavier version. Probably the highlight of the show, for me. Lots of crowd surfing/stage diving at this point. In fact, even a few pot bellied 38 year olds were flying off the stage. Even a chubby bleach blonde slut was in the air. Occasionally, someone would miss and fall flat to the floor. The band finished it off with "Fishbone (is Red Hot)!", their unofficial theme song.

I'd been there for almost five hours, now, and it was almost 1am. Fishbone's music was pretty solid, but the show felt scaled down or cramped. Maybe it was the cold weather, but for some reason, I didn't get into the show. That second opening REALLY scarred me and probably affected my tolerance. I'd probably rate this show at a "C-". But hey, I finally stopped procrastinating and saw Fishbone. I'd see them again, but only with ONE opening act. They're bumping around Colorado mountain towns for the next few days, if you'd like to catch them.

Fishbone.net

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