Double Clutching

Dec 2- Englewood, Colorado- On a whim, I decided to drive down Broadway on the way to work, Wednesday. Passed the Gothic in Englewood and saw CLUTCH listed on the marquee. That's a band I've been meaning to see for about 12 years now.

Clutch is kind of a hard rock/metal jam band and the world is their garage. I've heard their touring habits compared to the Grateful Dead-- they tour consistently, have a cult following and they encourage taping of their shows. But the big difference is that their music sounds good....even when you're not stoned. Their singer has a unique growl and he answers the age-old question: "what would it sound like if Foghorn Leghorn fronted a metal band"? The band themselves look more like a Grease Monkey crew than a rock band.

So I showed up Friday night and had a good time. The place was either sold out or close to being sold out, as there was hardly any room. One of my concert curses is that the mutant 6 foot 8 guy will ALWAYS stand in front of me. I'm an even 6 foot and usually that's tall enough to see a stage through a crowd. But it never fails, I go to a concert and some big Randy Johnson-like muthafucker ends up right in front of me. Eventually, I went upstairs and found a decent spot.

The opening act was some dude named William Elliot Whitmore. Just a dude with his guitar---or his banjo for some songs. He was pretty good... playing old Delta blues type of stuff. Kinda' like the soundtrack for "Oh Brother Where Art Thou". He claimed that his guitar was inlaid with roach papers. Kinda' funny...but he had to explain what roach papers were to the college-aged crowd.

Clutch played TWO sets and destroyed. Everybody in the place had their balls or their ovaries kicked in. I had a fantastic spot, right above the soundboard, for the second set. That seems to be my rule for a small venue: always find a spot close to the soundboard. View's usually good, sound's best, and you can peak over to see the setlist.

Most of the first set featured stuff from their new album, Robot Hive. They opened up with a lengthy jam with lead singer Neil Fallon playing the cowbell. Yeah, the cowbell.. how many frontmen come out playing the cowbell?! Fallon's animated when delivering his vocals, but during the solos and intrumental portions of each song, he simply steps to the side of the stage and lets the band do their thing. They're all about the music and no theatrics or posturing. They've traditionally been a four-piece band, but this time around they've added a fifth onstage member- a keyboardist. The keyboards acted like an additional rhythym component and really helped to beef up the sound. Songs would seemlessly blend into the next, as they mixed in noticeable numbers like "What would a Wookie Do?", "Burning Beard" and ended the first set with an extended version of "Soapmakers".

After 15 minutes, the band recharged and returned for more tunes. This half included "Tight Like That", "Elephant Riders", "Oregon", "Rats" and an updated version of "A Shogun Named Marcus". "Marcus" has mutated a bit over the years and seems much more raw than the original album release.

Only problem was during "Mob Goes Wild". Some bald black chic, looking like the bastard spawn of Michelle N'dege'ocello and Howard Stern's Beetlejuice, decided that was the optimum time to dance right in front of me. But her energy soon petered out and she had to sit down by the middle of the song. Also, during the intermission, some freakshow was heckling people who were leaving. "Don't leave, posers! Man, during the 80's at an Ozzy show, you'd always stick around, man! We were throwing stuff...it was fucking crazy man". Of course, this guy was about 24, so I doubt that his 3 year old infant ass was in the crowd for the "Bark at the Moon" tour.

Before the show, when I was waiting outside, I met a couple of stoners (there's a shocker... stoners at a Clutch show!) That reminded me of Another Concert Tip for Blending In: always talk really slow-- like you're fucked up-- or else do a Tommy Chong impersonation. People respond to you much better that way. One stoner was selling his extra ticket to the guy in front of me. The seller wanted 20 bucks for it, which was 2.50 more than the box office was charging (hey, 2.50 is another beer!). Without thinking, I dropped the stoner voice and said "dude, they're only 17.50 at the box". The guy ignored me, paid 20 bucks and lost 2.50. Hey, I tried. But somehow, I don't think the buyer needed that extra beer.

Allright, so Clutch was a tight, intense, fuck-you-up kind of show. You didn't need to burn through an entire lid to enjoy it.

Read More About It: Clutch Website

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