COMICS-G.I. Joe : The Pyramid of Darnkess (Part 2)
Intro/What the Heck??!!
Continuing with the compilation tape, we're up to Part Two of the
1985's Pyramid of Darkness. This episode is titled "Rendezvous in the City of the Dead".
Nevermind that the aforementioned "City of the Dead" isn't seen until episode THREE...
but it's close enough.
Would you Please Shut The Hell Up and Get Things Started?!!
But first.. "previously on GI Joe": Snake-Eyes, Shipwreck, Timber and Polly
were faced with a mechanical deathtrap! Shipwreck keeps shouting the pass phrase, until
Polly the Parrot finally chirps: "Squawk! Hail Cobra Commander..the Great Snake rules forever!"
The robotic sentry accepts this password and the deathtrap comes to an imediate halt.
Apparently, that extra "SQUAWK" was the key. The sentry wishes our heroes a nice day as they pass.
Up on GI Joe Space Station Delta, Dusty and Mutt are feeling mischievious and want to get
a message back to Earth. Something like: "We're being held captive by Giant Care Bears and
Australian bikers. Send more hot redheads with crossbows. Your Pals, Dusty and Mutt"
Dusty devises a scheme with the gravity control and relays his entire plan
to everyone else, with silent hand signals. Mutt signals to the
other Joes, with a twist of his wrist and two thumb motions. This apparently means:
"Dusty's going to sing a song, then restart gravity, dive down a maintenance shaft and
head for the control room". The other Joes pick this up and Dusty does just that. Dusty
makes it to Zartan's control room, sez hi to Duke and gets recaptured. He did manage to see
a picture of the Pyramid of Darkness, so that may or may not help out.
Back below Enterprise City..or the ocean... Shipwreck and Snake-Eyes scope out the
construction of several black cubes. Shipwreck has another fun scene as a Cobra
officer stops the Joes for escorting two animals through the site. Shipwreck mentions
that they're "Destro's personal pets... hey, Hitler had a goldfish, Attila the Hun had a canary"
That's STILL a funny line. The officer lets them snoop around, which allows Shipwreck to
stick a homing beacon on the first cube. Hey... that beacon looks just like the ones
Cobra used in 1983's "MASS Device" series! The cube eventually
departs and Shipwreck's signal gets out.
Meanwhile, Flint and Lady Jaye have regrouped the Earth-bound Joes to
an aircraft carrier- the USS Flagg. Unlike the comic version, the name "Flagg" has no
special meaning to the cartoon Joes (Maybe it did, but it was never mentioned) and it's
captained by a chubby old codger named Admiral Ledger, not Keel-Haul. After some
incredibly UN-funny superstitious chic jokes, the Joes get Shipwreck's signal. They
quickly home in on a sqaudron of Cobra helicopters, heading for
a place called "The Devil's Playground"...not to be confused with
"Beezelbub's Poopchute". According to the map,
it looks like it's somewhere in Europe, but
who knows for sure. Flint and Lady Jaye quickly head a team of Nameless
Flunkies to intercept.
Shipwreck and Snake-Eyes snoop around some more and find a disc with all the schematics
of the Pyramid of Darkness. They finally ditch their Cobra duds and try to leave the complex.
They escape on a motorized handcart through a subterranean railroad system. They're pursued by Cobra
soldiers in a scene verrrry similar to the minecart chase in "Indiana Jones and the Temple of
Doom". During the chase, the motor gives out. Shipwreck and Snake-Eyes then have to pump the cart
by hand. As the Cobra's get closer, Shipwreck decides to re-start the motor. "Timber! You pump
while I start the motor!!" Yup, Timber is the Smartest Pooch in the World as he understands this,
hops up on two legs and helps Snake-Eyes pump the handcart. (Drinking Game: anytime
an animal understands English: DRINK!. Also take a drink because an animal
is DRIVING!) After a few twists and turns, our
heroes escape and exit to the the surface level. They're relieved to be out of the sewers, but they're
in a shady section of town. Immediately, we're shown someone tailing them. The obligatory
"Spooky Guy in Shades and Trench Coat".
While all this was going on, Destro's made it to the Devil's Playground with the first cube.
It's a craggy area, with lots of ...um, I guess it's lava. But as we'll see, that's
debateable.
In a scene that I thought was COOL in sixth grade: Destro's faceplate is splashed by
"lava". He whips out a sander and re-buffs his grill. Wow! He uses something called
a SANDER to wipe his face! I dunno..like I said, I thought it was cool in 1985.
Back on the USS Flagg: there ain't no sarge, so Roadblock's in charge! I forget how, but the
remaining Joes have been clued into the location of the next two cubes. Alpine and Bazooka
depart in the WHALE hovercraft for the "Mountain of Glass", while Airtight and Footloose
appear to be flying to the "City of the Dead". Airtight does a great nerd soliloquoy while
Footloose makes like a combination of Jeff Spiccoli and Donald Sutherland. I never realized it
at the time, but Footloose's hippie gimmick is pretty damn entertaining. Roadblock suddenly
barges in and announces that HE's in charge of the mission, not these two goofballs.
Flint and Lady Jaye reach the Devil's Playground and attack Destro's troops. Their
Skystrikers are quickly shot down and they parachute to safety (obvious Drinking Game
note: anytime someone parachutes safely out of a plane: DRINK. Two if it's a helicopter).
The Cobras use the backs of their CLAW gliders as impromptu machine gun nests. Flint and Lady Jaye
try to advance, but are knocked into the "lava"!! They don't ignite...this lava's like
pink JELL-O.. and nothing sez "Devil" like pink JELL-O!
The threat of them possibly drowning in JELL-O is enough to make this
our daily cliffhanger!! What will happen in Part Three?!! Will we ever see the
actual "City of the Dead"?
Overview/Dumb Comments
I always felt that the show's creators were running out of nifty ideas for
each component of Cobra's Evil Device Du Jour. So, they used the plain, black cubes
that made the Pyramid of Darkness. As a kid, I really didn't mind. I could slap some black
LEGOS together in a simple big ass cube, and I've got my own Pyramid! Beats the hell out
of scrounging for electronic components to create my own Weather Dominator.
We're also introduced to four of the "new" Joes and their personalities. Alpine and Bazooka
make a fun "Abbott and Costello" comedy duo. We see that Alpine has a flair for romanticizing stuff
and his buddy Bazooka is a simpleton. We're also immediately shown that Airtight's a geek
and Footloose is a stoner. Well, Footloose isn't exactly a DRUG USER, per se... but you
get the vibe. He'd fit right in at your local state college. Admiral Ledger was another
"Cartoon-only" guy and is actually a better character than Keel-Haul ever was. Keel-haul wasn't
developed in the comics...he was just the captain of the Flagg. Ledger is a somewhat
entertaining, ornery old warhorse. If things weren't so sensitive, they might have even written him
a few lines about how "broads don't belong on ships...they belong in the kitchen"..or something
like that. (ducking to avoid the barrage)
Yes, part 3 is on the way. I was planning to do these "Pyramid" episodes each week, but
then Ace arrived. Who's Ace? Why, he's the new Official eStragand Mascot and Director of
Security. Keep your eye on the "news/press releases" section for the official anouncement.
Forward to PART THREE
Back to PART ONE
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