G.I. Joe #42 (2005)
Writer: some hack
Artists: some hack
If you frequent this website (and I feel for you), then you’ve probably noticed my stupid obsession with GI Joe. Those who’ve actually had the displeasure of meeting me know that my collection of GI Joe crap has been legendary for the past 20 years or so. The latest incarnation of the GI Joe comic has had its ups and downs, but for the most part hasn’t been too terrible. It doesn't appeal to me as much as it did 20 years ago, but I don't feel like the 2.95 financial burden is hurting me. It satisfies my curiousity if nothing else.
A new opponent has been added to the mix lately. With issue 42, the Red Shadows officially come out of hiding. As far as “mysterious debuts” go, it’s not too sensational. Over the past few months, several GI Joe and Cobra agents have been walking around when suddenly some weirdo steps out of the wall and kills them. That’s it. For instance, Cobra Commander and the Crimson Twins were in a cave... a Red Shadow walked out from behind a rock and killed them. “Original Joe” Colton walked into a dark room and was shot by another Shadow. Lame assasinations have been the intro hook for this group.They’re not flashy assasinations like a gas filled room or flaming deathtrap. The Red Shadows either shoot someone or blow them up. Maybe it’d be more memorable to have each victim burned alive, their face skinned, and their arms crossed over their body, in a morbid form of the Red Shadows’ logo. But nope..just simple killings.
The drama is a little forced as well as the loose ends that are tied up. One page features Joe bigwigs Duke, Hawk, Flint and Gen. Rey gushing over and doing everything short of oral pleasure to one another. A "shocking" attack on Flint and Lady Jaye is plain awful. It's a VERY sappy attempt at "a tragic romantic death", and, gee whiz, is it bad!
The Red Shadows are:
Wilder Vaughn- a former British special ops agent who worked with Joe Colton in southeast Asia. He’s upset because he had to work for corrupt military officials. You can tell he’s EVIL, ‘cuz he has a goatee.
Artur Kulkin- A big bald Russian dude with a Bam Bam Bigelow head tattoo. He’s apparently an artist--and is seen painting a “picture” that resembles a Count Chockula cereal box.
Dela Eden- Bald chic from Ghana who runs around in a fur coat. She resembles Onyx from the Batman comics just a bit. Right now she’s my favorite, because she killed Lady Jaye (a character that’s annoyed me since she first appeared). And hey, a terrorist/assassain from Ghana? That's different.
Gen. Harring- a former member of the Jugglers, the military chiefs that have jerked with the Joes since the late 80’s. Harring is infiltrating the Joes, but they’re oblivious to his Red Shadow ties. He also killed most of the other Jugglers and destroyed the Serpentor status tank.
Plus a seemingly countless horde of infantry flunkies. Or, if ya’ wanna’ go old school, you call them “Red Shadow Trooper’ and “Red Shadow Officer” (code name: The Enemy, naturally). The Shadows also seem to be borrowing from Cobra’s old modus operandi--manipulate and stir up unrest or revolution in foreign countries.
The Shadows are loosely based off of the old Action Force line. In the early 80’s, GI Joe was re-released in Britain as “Action Force”, which had grown out an older Brit-only toy line called “Action Man”. Instead of Cobra, they had the carryovers from the old “Action Man” line: Baron Ironblood and the Red Shadows. Some of the original Cobra toys were re-released in Britain with different paintjobs. For instance, the Cobra HISS tank was known as the Hyena over there. Destro was re-painted and dubbed Red Jackal. Action Force also had their own comic line with a different continuity than their American counterparts. Around 1984, the differences began to stop, as the Red Shadows simply became Cobra, both in the toys and comics.
Neat trivia, but it doesn’t really scream “put ‘em in the new comics”. I don’t believe any of the new Red Shadows were characters in the 80’s. Their outfits and logo are identical, but that’s it. I’d also speculate that the “RED” part of their name used to connect them to Communism or Russia in some way.... sorta’ like how James Bond used to fight SMERSH.
Yeah, it’s nice to have a third faction...but it’s been done before (Destro's MARS or the Dreadnoks at times) and this feels forced. The Jugglers forced Gen. Phillip Rey into the team as the new commander. He’s a complete unknown and will probably be explained away next issue (maybe he’s a Serpentor clone?) The Publishers are also resetting the GI joe title in June and promising “the end of GI Joe as you know it!”. Of course, the new title is set to include Storm Shadow, Snake-Eyes, Duke and Scarlett... so “as you know it” must be a loose term. Cobra Commander and his flunkies are too good of a threat to stay away. Plus, we didn’t see CC’s body and he’s died before. Keep Cobra around in some capacity. Don’t kill them off with lame deaths in the span of two months. Besides..I’m sure within two years, we’ll be subjected to “the Return of Cobra”
All the deaths read like goofy fanboy fictionalization. It reminds me of the same of the cockamamie junk I worked into my little GI Joe stories as a wee lad. Like alot of kids, I started out my early GI Joes stories by saying Cobra was the Earth-bound emissaries of Star Wars’ Evil Empire (hey, initially I had a ton of Star Wars toys and only three Cobra figures). Later I had some messed up stuff like Cobra taking over Russia, a dried-up Atlantic Ocean (just the Atlantic...other oceans were fine. Not sure how I spun that), a militia group called "The Confederacy", a subterranean Cobra town in South Carolina, and a special Canadian-only team. I even explained away Cobra-La, by having them be genetic experiments living below Los Angeles, who were insane and only thought they were the original backers of Cobra. Remember the Super-Trooper mail-in? I worked him in as a government ploy, out to prove the Joe team was obsolete and not budget conscious (why finance an entire army, when ONE guy can do the job?). Trooper had a Maxwell Lord type of bureaucrat who'd fly him into combat situations, unannounced, in an attempt to save the day. I even had a Cobra defector, years before Mercer (the gray Cobra Stinger driver...just cuz' I thought he was a cool figure).
I just see the Red Shadows as another chapter and don’t plan on jumping ship. Since the GI Joe comic returned in 2001, it hasn’t knocked my socks off... I’ve just been picking it up, cuz’ that’s what I always did. I sat through junk like the awful Transformers issues and the braindead “Scarlett joins Cobra” junk. By comparison, this looks better. I just don’t like how it’s being forcefully introduced. But this "hi.. we're here to SHOOT you" stuff is terrible
Summary:Previously unknown baddies show up and shoot people. Mirth and mayhem ensues.
Cover price:$4.50 (wtf!?!!)
Rating: .75
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