COMICS-(WHEN HYPERTIMES COLLIDE)
DOG WARS! Just like cock-fighting is big in Mexico, here at eStragand.com,
dog-fighting is pretty spiffy. This month, we tracked down two very famous
canine mascots. In one corner, we have the most recognizable mascot from the
comics world- Krypto the Super Dog. In the other, we have the most recognizable
mascot from the pro wrestling world- Matilda the Bulldog. Matilda would
accompany the WWF's British Bulldogs (Davey Boy Smith and Dynamite Kid) to the ring.
The Bulldogs won the Tag Team titles and are still considered one of the best
teams in wrestling history. Krypto would assist Superboy in keeping Smallville
clean of crime, and even followed Superboy into the 31st century. Additionally, Superboy/
Superman is considered one of the best comic heroes in history.
Both were loved by
kids the world over, and were mascots of almost invincible forces.
Would it be a
rout for the super powered spaniel? Read on, true believers!
 |
 |
| Tale o' the Tape- Krypto vs. Matilda |
|
Krypto |
Matilda |
Advantage |
Owner(s) |
Superboy |
Dynamite Kid and Davey Boy Smith |
Matilda (the Bulldogs had waaaay more parties than Superboy ever did) |
Purpose |
Helps Superboy fight crime |
Mascot and "manager" of British Bulldogs |
Krypto |
TV exposure |
1960's "Superboy" cartoons |
WWF TV, from 1987-1989 |
Matilda |
Contemporaries |
Ace the Bathound, Streaky the Supercat, Comet the Super Horse, Ambush Bug |
Damian the Snake, Frankie the Parrot, Ricky Steamboat's lizard, MINE |
Krypto |
Costume |
Dog collar and Red cape |
Dog collar and occasionally a Union Jack scarf |
Krypto |
Merchandise |
Stuffed toy from DC Direct |
Matilda doll, T-shirt, posters |
Matilda |
Helps out by: |
Shooting heat vision from his eyes and flying. |
Giving Dynamite Kid "advice" on how to execute a snap suplex |
Krypto |
Worst Crisis Faced |
Sarcificed himself to save Superboy from lethal kryptonite (circa 1985) |
Abducted by Bobby Heenan and the Islanders |
Krypto |
Fan Support |
Forgotten and ridiculed for years (1980's-2000) |
"Get Well Matilda" campaign, resulting in millions of cheesy cards. |
Matilda |
Replaced |
Nobody |
Capt. Lou Albano |
Matilda |
Replaced by |
Krypto 2 (2001 version) |
Winston |
Krypto |
Teams led |
Legion of Super Pets |
British Bulldogs |
Matilda |
Arch enemies |
-none- (they were all Superboy's) |
Bobby Heenan and WWF jobbers |
Matilda |
Favorite hang-out |
The Doghouse of Solitude in outer-space |
Pedestal at ringside |
Krypto |
Methods of attack |
Bites, shoots eye-beams, attacks with paws |
Slobbers |
Krypto |
Wrestlemanias experienced |
-none- |
2 (III and IV) |
Matilda |
Weaknesses |
Kryptonite |
Kibbles n Bits, fire hydrants |
Krypto |
Final score: a 9-8 squeaker for the Dog of Steel. This match would be under
the time-honored "Kennel in a Cell" rules of pro-wrestling.
Basically, a match where the entire ring is surrounded by a massive
cage, or kennel. Midway into the match,
Dynamite Kid would run-in, scale the top of the cage, rip open a panel, and
deliver his patented flying headbutt onto Krypto. Dazed, the Super Spaniel
would be on the receiving end of some serious slobbering from the English
Mongrel. The two dogs would then roll around with a mat sequence,
as the announcers scream "Dogfiiiiiiiight!!!". Davey Boy Smith would then arrive
and toss a special kryptonite-laced glove to Matilda. Dynamite Kid would
hold up Krypto, for Matilda to deliver the coup-de-grace. Krytpo would fight back
the effects of Kryptonite and break Dynamite's hold.... allowing Matilda to
errantly nail Dynamite with the loaded glove. The glove goes flying, and Krypto
rolls up Matilda from behind, to score the pin! Afterwards, Streaky and Ace arrive to
help clear the ring of the British contingent.
It's small solace for the wrestling fans, but believe me, a wrestler WILL win one of these
things, shortly. It's all part of the long-term booking! Up next: the first
ever Hypertime Arena 3-Way Dance, as the NFL gets involved!
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Contact My Ass!
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