COMICS-Crappy Comics: Ultimate Daredevil & Elektra #1
"Felicity"...without the Pink Ranger
I'm not a huge fan of Marvel's "ULTIMATE" line. To me, it's confusing to have
yet another version of your characters running parallel to your main characters.
For example: by my count, there's four versions of Spider-Man currently
running in the public eye. 1- "Regular" spidey in the comics. 2- "ULTIMATE"
Spidey in the comics. 3- Cartoon Spidey and 4- Movie Spidey. (you could
also count the two "future" Spideys from 2099 and "Spider-Man Unlimited".
AND.. you could also count the differences between the 60's, 80's and 90's cartoon Spideys)
All of them have different
canons and I really don't see how this can "drive new readers to the comics
medium". I mean, I watch pro football. I expect other fans to, y'know,
watch the SAME NFL as I do. Not "NFL Extreme",
"NFL 2K" or "NFL Classic". Just makes conversations
easier.
I didn't come in to work on Monday
and say "hey, didja watch the Super Bowl, yesterday?" "WHICH Super Bowl...there
were FOUR of 'em!?"
But I'm in the minority on this one, as Marvel's "ULTIMATE" line seems to be a
hit.
The premise behind "ULTIMATE (INSERT NAME HERE)" appears to be "updating classic Marvel heroes
for the new millenium". Anytime something is "updated for the new millenium" I groan, as it's
a marketing ploy that usually means "changing something that was around three years ago, only
affixing the words 2K to it".
Even though he has a movie coming up, Daredevil's not exactly a heavy hitter.
Not in the sense of Spider-Man, Batman or Superman- he's sort of a secondary
superhero. Plus, I haven't read Dardevil in over 10 years, and when I did
he never really excited me. Last storyline I can remember
was Matt Murdock losing his memory and bumping around New York
in a New Orleans Saints hat. If they modified or updated Daredevil, I probably
wouldn't give a shit. So, I had no
aversion to picking up "Ultimate Daredevil & Elektra".
This revamp focuses primarily on Elektra Natchios and her initial semester in college.
There, she meets her mulitcultural female roomate, Mel. Mel BREAKS STEREOTYPES with her
enlightened ideas and diverse muscial tastses. In a realistic display of
college life, the two immediately hit it off and order...pizza. REALISM!! They also
stand up to a campus bully who's harassing another chic named Phoebe. Think "Flash Thompson
picking on Peter Parker, circa 1963". But wait, I thought this was supposed to
be "updated for the new millenium". It is... they ate pizza, dumbass.
So, we've got three 19 year old chics: the main character,
the smart black chic, and the flitsy blonde. If only they were in a band and wore
catsuits.... then it'd be
Josie and the Pussycats, girlfriend!
They also meet the "hunk", Alan, errr, Matt Murdock. But I thought this was
"updated for the millenium". It is... Matt asked Elektra out for COFFEE, you clown!
The girls are also "strong independent women".
How do we know they're strong? Cuz Elektra twisted the bully's arm!
Plus, they all visit Elektra's martial arts dojo! You go, girls...ya'll
make me wanna listen to Destiny's Child and drive my VW bug! Actually, the third chic,
Phoebe is sort of a tart in predictable way.
That's the gist of the story. Girl goes to college and hangs out in
dorm in underwear with girlfriends. This proves to me how schmaltzy this book is...
it's got chics in underwear and I'm severely apathetic. There's a "cliffhanger" ending,
but you can probably see where it's going.
I had to check the cover to make sure this wasn't "Felicity: the Comic".
I wasn't too surprised to find out that Greg Rucka wrote this rag.
Rucka annoyed me to no end while writing "Detective Comics" and this
cements him as my Least Favorite Douche Bag Writing a Comic Book. Now, I've never met the guy,
but pictures I've seen of him are troubling, in an Elton John kinda way.
This book might have appealed to me...
if I liked Liza and had a nice tan.
Very rarely do I finish a comic and say "damn...that was pure crap". And this from a guy
who's read EVERY issue of "Azrael".
No pun intended, but Daredevil's seen better days.
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