COMICS-(WHEN HYPERTIMES COLLIDE)
"Big Heap Fightin'"
Return with us now to those thrilling days of yesteryear... namely, the 70's,
when it was still admissible to use the word "Injun". This month, the Hypertime Arena
comes to us from Jacobs Field, the stage for this battle of
stereotypical Native American dudes- Apache Chief and Wahoo McDaniel!
Apache Chief was added to the Superfriends cartoons in the 70's, "coincidentally",
the same time as Black Vulcan (a black guy), Samurai (an Asian guy) and
Rima the Jungle Girl (gasp...a WOMAN). Apache Chief had a few powers- one was
to mutter his magic words and grow to immense proportions (umm.. I mean: "he'd get really tall").
He also had the powers to singlehandedly increase Native American stereotypes,
talk incredibly slow in broken English, and stay warm in his tunic
(even in outer space!). A long time TV-only
character, Apache Chief has been a running joke among fans of
DC Comics' Superfriends and Justice League.
Strangely enough, he was loosely adapted into the print world of DC Comics- as "Manitou
Raven" around 2002 in the "JLA" comic.
Over to the wrestling side, where "Chief" Wahoo McDaniel checks in as one of the most
popular and succesful pro wrestlers of the late 20th century. After an NFL career
with the Denver Broncos, New York Jets and Miami Dolphins, Wahoo made the switch to
a full-time wrestler in the late 60's. Known as a legitimate tough guy, Wahoo
headlined arenas all over the country up until his semi-retirement in the early 1990's.
His stiff tomahawk chops were known to daze even the sturdiest of noggins.
Respected by fans and wrestlers alike, Wahoo was even featured in Sports Illustrated
in 2001. Sadly, he passed away in 2002.
Who would win in this clash of Native American icons? Sound the bell,
bar the door and... run to the hills, 'cuz it's gonna' be war!! Inuk-chuk!
 |
 |
| Tale o' the Tape- Apache Chief vs. Wahoo McDaniel |
| |
Apache Chief |
Wahoo McDaniel |
Advantage |
| Headgear |
headband |
big ol' ceremonial headress |
Wahoo |
| Belt |
snazzy orange belt to hold up his tunic |
NWA US Title, Florida Heavyweight Championship, many more |
Wahoo |
| Biggest Nemesis |
Giganta |
Johnny Valentine |
Wahoo |
| Lamest Nemesis |
Toyman |
Manny Fernandez |
Apache Chief |
| Most Embarasssing Moment |
Couldn't "enlarge" after buring self with coffee on "Harvey Birdman" |
Getting "knocked out" by Gene Anderson's noggin in MACW |
Apache Chief |
| Knock-offs/imitators |
Running Eagle (his brother), JLA's Manitou Raven |
WWF's Tatanka |
Apache Chief |
| Best Match |
Put Black Manta in a tree |
Cage match against Magnum TA, 1985 |
Wahoo |
| Funniest Moment |
Every time he was on screen |
Smashing Professor Boris Malenko's dentures |
Wahoo |
| Famous Partners/teammates |
Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman |
Mark Youngblood, Paul Jones, Jose Lothario |
Apache Chief |
| Lamest partner/teammate |
Aquaman |
Greg Gagne |
-push- |
| Trademark moves |
Gets really big. |
Tomahawk chop. Bleeds alot |
Apache Chief |
| NFL connection |
Looks like Redskins' mascot |
Played for Broncos, Jets and Dolphins |
Wahoo |
| Specialty Match |
Fight-The-Other-Big-Person Match |
Indian Strap Match |
Wahoo |
| Mainstream recognition |
Superfriends TV show |
Featured in Sports Ilustrated several times. Numerous pro wrestling TV shows. |
Wahoo |
| Weakness |
Squaws. Drive-though windows with low clearance |
Steel chairs |
Wahoo |
| Native American "rank" |
Chief (duh!) |
Chief |
-push- |
| Youngsters he helped train |
Wonder Twins |
Ric Flair, Ricky Steamboat |
Wahoo |
Final score: 5-10-2...as Wahoo beats Apache Chief like a drum (groooan).
Apache Chief came...out from TV... Wahoo brought him pain...and misery!
Of course, special referee for
this match would be Boston Celtics legend "The Chief", Robert Parrish.
Possibly even a special sponsorship from Redman Chewing Tobacco (grooooan).
It should also be noted that the rough draft for this article was
scribbled out on a Big Chief notepad (grooooooannn!).
Comment about this article. Hit the Message Board, or
Contact My Ass!
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