COMICS-TV Stuff: This Looks Like a Job for Bat-Mite!
...and so does Batgirl's ass
Just like Spider-Man, there are countless Batman cartoons out there. They range from the excellent 90's series to, well...
this episode. From the late 70's "New Adventures of Batman", we get an mild update of the Filmmation 60's series, with a few
modifications. Namely, Adam West and Burt Ward are on-board to provide voices to their favorite characters. The animation and charcter designs are all holdover from the 60's series... with the addition of Bat-Mite.
Borrowing from the Great Gazoo, we get Bat-mite. An imp who from the planet Ergo who can do anything. He can teleport, do magic tricks, find your car keys and float around. But his principal power is annoy the living shit out of anyone. Audience, characters, villains... nobody's safe. Just like Gazoo took over the Flintstones and pushed the main attractions of Fred & Barney away, Bat-mite has the same effect. In fact, replace cavemen and dinosaurs with superheroes and supervillains and you've got the same thing! It's true that this particular version of Batman was more kid-friendly than the 90's version, but I don't remember any kids digging Bat-mite. Whenever we played "superheroes" at recess, NOBODY ever said "hey! I wanna' be Bat-mite!". We would have some kids play Robin or Aquaman, but never Bat-mite. That's low.
Anyways, this episode gets rolling with the escape of Zarbor, an evil Ergonian. He escapes from a remote... funhouse/prison and flies to Earth to seek revenge on Batman & Robin. His first bit of wacky mayhem is to turn a Gotahm City building upside down. Well, due to lazy animators, we don't see the building, but everyone tells us about it. Comissioner Gordon is on the scene and calls Batman & Robin to investigate. Zarbor's there to throw nets, blow up fire hydrants and kidnap Robin. Suddenly, in the midst of all this, there's a cameo appearance by some hotness...
Yow.
Gotta' love the GCPD. An entire skyscraper has been flipped upside down, so they dispatch a couple cops, the geriatric commisioner and a hot librarian to the scene.
Zarbor and his amazing powers take Robin away to Mount Rushmore. Batman then drives all the way to Mt. Rushmore and gets himself captured. Bat-mite escapes, while Zarbor brainwashes Batman & Robin into becoming his "Crime Crusaders.. Hee hee hee!". Zarbor kinda' has the same voice as Sinestro from "Challenge of the SuperFriends" and even has clever nicknames for the good guys. Sinestro would use "SuperFOOLS... hee hee hee!". Zarbor uses "Crime Crusaders...Hee hee hee". No wonder they're criminal masterminds.
Bat-mite, meanwhile, has escaped back to Stately Wayne Manor and decided to play with the Bat-Boat. Sure.. your buddies are being held captive in Mt. Rushmore, fire up the Bat-Boat! After a few minutes of "hilarity", Bat-Mite hits the ejection seat and ends up flying onto Batgirl's motorcycle, who just happened to be in the neighborhood. Bat-mite finds himself a good seat as they cruise around.
Wait, maybe he's not such a putz after all. Look at that grin.
Zarbor and his "Crime Crusaders.. hee hee hee" have invaded Washington DC. With the help of Batman & Robin, Zarbor will take over the world! He walks into a military meeting with the "president" and takes over the White House (in one of those fun unwritten rules, the "president" is never seen on-screen). He also broadcasts his message to the entire "world".
Zarbor's master plan for world domination--- use Batman & Robin to knock over some banks. Of course. Cuz' if you can turn buildings upside down, brainwash people, teleport, shoot lightning bolts and all sorts of other crap, you need two guys in spandex to go around to banks and collect money. Then you will RULE THE WORLD!!! Moowahahahahahaha! Zarbor's even seen fit to create his own custom nameplate...
Surprisingly, this plan doesn't work. On about the third bank, the "Crime Crusaders.. Hee hee hee", run into Bat-mite and Batgirl. Bat-mite breaks the
brainwashing by showing pictures of old episodes. That works and everyone's back to normal. Zarbor tries to escape in the stolen Batmobile, but drives it into a garbage truck. A garbage truck is apparently enough to trap him. Curses, foiled again! Next time, Batman & friends should simply drop a RUG over the little guy. Or a bag of flour. Or a banana peel. All are proven Villain Catching Methods.
There's a final "BAT MESSAGE" sequence, where Bat-mite and the Bat-computer have a "funny" moment. But the fun's not over for YOU! This episode, along with about 14 others, is currently available on AOL's new "in2tv.com" site. Sorta' like YouTube, but without all the home videos and illegal crap. It's definitely NOT worth preserving on DVD on even Beta-Max, so hop over there and see all of Bat-mite's antics and Batgirl's assets for yourself.
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